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A Greatest Hits album is an artist's testament to a long and prolific career. Or at least it would be, if it wasn't for the fact that pretty much anybody can release one, regardless of how few hits they actually have to their name. As evidence of this, we give you... #9.
The Best of Vanilla Ice
But as adored as he may have been for 52 weeks in 1990-1991, he was absolutely fucking hated a million times more for about ten years after. An incident in which he was supposedly dangled from the ankles off a balcony from the top floor of a hotel and forced to sign over the publishing rights to his biggest hit ever is still used as comedy fodder to this day, most recently on a 2006 episode of Entourage. Chew on that for a second, the fact that Vanilla Ice was almost murdered by Suge Knight is thought to be hilarious by millions of people. This album could be called The Very Best of That Fucking Ice Ice Baby Dick That Suge Knight Should Have Dropped To His Death and nobody would bat an eyelash.
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#8.
The Best of Nelson: The Millennium Collection
To honor that devoid-of-talent week in 1990, someone decided to do the years of research required to come up with 10 other Nelson songs possibly worth hearing and gather them together on The Best of Nelson: The Millennium Collection. To think, while Y2K paranoia had us celebrating the millennium hunkered down in a bomb shelter scared that a rogue ATM was going to burst through the door at the stroke of Midnight, we could've spent it with this collection of non-hits, celebrating both the coming of the 21st century and Matthew and Gunnar Nelson's glory days. All seven of them.
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#7.
Aaron Carter: Most Requested Hits
Ok, we're kidding, of course we checked, we're semi-professionals! Unless you count the single "Aaron's Party (Come and Get It)" peaking at #35 as a hit, there is no place in the world for this attempt at revisionist history. By far, the most shocking thing about this album, other than that it exists at all, is the title. Look at the album cover; even he looks a bit surprised. Most requested hits? Requested by who? This implies that there were studies done, numbers crunched and songs eliminated because, compared to "My Shorty," they just couldn't justify including them due to their less than impressive request history. We call bullshit. We want to see the numbers. A Freedom of Information Act request is pending.
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holy f**k that amazon comment of vanilla ice made me pee my pants!
Omfg. Nelson had a number one single the week I was born. September 29, 1990 is my birthday. Is that like an omen or something?!?
if your an alien hell bent on taking over the world and your disguised as a world leader... dont you already pretty much control the earth? hell all you would need to do then is just change the laws of the land so everyone is your b***h... bob dole is an alien, he will back you up...
f**k ALL THESE f*g'S (((50 CENT YOU OK))
THE REST O THESE f*g'S CAN KEEP CHOKE'EN ON A DICK!!!
AS THAY HAVE FOR YEAR'S... & IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT f**k YOU TO...PEACE I'M OUT THIS h**o FEST.............
Best Greastest hits Album... "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane"
I dont know how all these one hit (If even) wonders got greatest hits albums... bullshit.
yea, let us not forget "the best of criss cross" the clothing challenged will never forgive you! jump, jump, mack daddy make u, jump, jump...
I like the Who, but I've lost count of how many 'Greatest Hits' that have been released... Enough already.
NELSON...the hair is beautiful....
John Tesh wrote a song about Garden City, Kansas. I had the mistortune of living in that hole of a town that smells of manure (huge cattle sluaghtering business in western Kansas) and apparently John Tesh loved it so much he wrote a lame song about it that is inescapable if you are in Garden City. I guess he is just so s****y he couldn't smell the s**t. Either that or the smell reminded him of his home planet.
Oh f**k I remember that Aaron Carter kid. He sucked almost hard as the Jonas Brothers do.
u forgot good charlottes greatest hits man THEY SUCK
Am I the only one who remembers New Kids on the Block? If I remember correctly (I think I was 7 at the time) their first hit went something like this: "Oh oh oh Ah oh, oh oh AHH oh... oh oh AH oh oh, the right stuff!"
Mind-blowing lyrics, those.
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shaq joints ain't all that bad,no hook with method and rza is classic yell www.myspace.com/panhandoelrcorp
why do all of em seem so gay? hmm ghay
You won't find anyone linked to the studies to find out what Aaron Carter hits were indeed most requested. Disney in all of its tomfoolery, have had must of us hunted down and killed. I mean most of thus, oh s**t, of them.
re: Truthiness
I agree. Jesus doesn't listen to Christian music...s**t, the man (god? hybrid?) is bound to be sick of that crap by now. Clearly, he will return to earth in search of stoner rock. Jesus was a hippie.
what was wrong with Secret of the Ooze?
NO! I know the absolute scariest CD. Picture ureself walking through a CD store past the "S" section and stumbling upon... THE BEST OF WILLIAM SHATNER!? Songs from Kirk? (it actually says that too)
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i had a shaq diesel cd. evertime my buddies at work wanted to have a laugh, we'd play it over the loud speakers.