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The 25 Most Ridiculous Band Names in Rock History

By Matt Wilson June 26, 2007 4,246,778 views
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Here's a scenario: You start a rock band, which you just happen to name after spending several hours huffing paint and drinking bleach. You spend a few years playing small clubs until you're discovered by a major label and start selling a lot of records. And suddenly you realize that the stupid name you thought up when you were huffing all that paint is going to follow you around for the rest of your life.

Here are the 25 bands who, regardless of their own musical quality, have the stupidest names on record.

#25-#23: Stealth Ridiculous

These band names aren't as laugh-out-loud idiotic as some of the others we'll get to-in fact, several of our staff admitted that Porno for Pyros was actually a pretty cool name. They're ridiculous in the sense that the more you think about them, the more they make no sense whatsoever.

#25.
Porno for Pyros

The story: Former Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell came up with the name while watching coverage of the LA riots on television. Presumably while jacking off.

Why it's ridiculous: Pornography for pyromaniacs is, for all intents and purposes, regular pornography. Sure, there are maybe a few crazy people out there getting sexual pleasure from watching videos of people setting fires-but your garden variety pyromaniac isn't renting College Slut Matches & Gasoline Party VII. He's out burning down the neighborhood Costco. It turns out they just really like burning stuff.

#24.
Nickelback

The story: Lead singer Chad Kroeger was having trouble coming up with a name, and so approached his brother, who worked at a Starbucks. Coffee was $1.95, which meant every customer who paid two bucks got-waiiiit for it-a nickel back. (It was either that or We're Sorry About the Homeless Man Shooting Up in the Bathroom.)

Why it's ridiculous: Asking cashiers at franchise coffee shops for career advice can only end in tragedy. (Kroeger suffered similar woes after getting a Wal-Mart greeter to do his taxes for him, resulting in the repossession of his house.) If you walk up to the cashier behind a Starbucks counter and, instead of ordering a Tall Sumatran, ask them to name your shitty band, odds are you're going to get something giving-people-change-for-coffee-based.

#23.
The Alan Parsons Project

The story: Founder Alan Parsons started a "project" with other "project administration personnel" to "drill down" on this whole "music" thing he'd heard so much about. So he named it that.

Why it's ridiculous: It's one thing to just name your band after yourself, like ego cases Dave Matthews and Ben Folds did. But once you've made the choice to be lazy, you're not allowed to get all clever with it afterwards. Besides, it makes the band sound like the sort of after-school activity all the kids who didn't make the basketball team got stuck with. "Today, class, we're going to build Alan Parsons... from common household items!"

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749 Comments

Hoobastank... holy god, that's my number one. just saying it makes me feel like i reached for a napkin and dipped my hand in a dish of mayonnaise. it makes ME embarrassed, so i can only imagine how they feel. here they are, successful (despite being very boring), lots of money, a life supply of 19-year-old emo p***y, and fame - but they can't get past the one thing they fucked up miserably that will haunt them forever.

it must be like painting the god damn mona lisa and then realizing, after it's far too late, that you forgot to paint a nose.

12/13/2009 11:24:18 PM
quicksand

I'm very surprised Strawberry Alarm Clock wasn't mentioned!!!

12/10/2009 4:03:08 PM
tvlandman

Although some are way more ridiculous than others, you could argue any band name is stupid/awesome all day and be absofrigginlutely right. Funny article though. On another note, it's been over two years and no one mentioned "Butthole Surfers"? Really?

12/4/2009 3:40:55 PM
DirtMcGirt

i think the reason the band "enuff z'nuff" is called that is cause they said "hey! i got an idea! the next thing someone says to us after we play well make our band name! and to be douchey, we'll spell it like s**t!"
and you can guess the rest

11/27/2009 3:41:23 PM
headbanger450

Another mod.
Mott the hopple IS a real book.
See http://www.hunter-mott.com/books/mott_the_hoople.html

11/26/2009 6:19:28 PM
Spash

Hi guys,
A limp biscuit is a biscuit that goes soggy after having been left in a cup of tea (or coffee, the sort that falls in the cup. :P
No really, I'm serious!
But you gotta say, still a stupid name.

11/26/2009 6:13:29 PM
Spash

You guys forgot Bananarama and Kajagoogoo!

Also, I heard 2 other rumors about Hoobastank: 1. Sounds like if you say "Who's butt stinks?" really fast. 2. It's what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ. Both equally lame and I don't know anyone who actually says Jesus H. Christ except maybe I read it in a book sometime.

11/21/2009 1:34:20 PM
323Felicity

there is no confirmed meaning for W.A.S.P, I've heard a few. The one you said, "We Are Satan's People" and "We Are Sex Perverts", to name a few.

11/10/2009 11:47:47 AM
zachstaska

on number 18 W.A.S.P stand for something it stand for (we are sexual predators)
and kiss doesnt stand for anything its a complete myth.

11/4/2009 12:54:49 AM
pHiLlNeSs_HxC

I think you could also include 'Nsync. When I was 12 and my best friend told me the name of that new boy band, I heard "in sink", and assumed I had misheard her.

Some of these band names are so silly, I felt embarrassed to even say them. I used to like Chumbawumba and Limp Bizkit in middle and high school, but I could never bring myself to ask my mom to buy their CDs as Christmas gifts.

11/3/2009 9:03:34 AM
catgirl

when you are partially responsible for Pink Floyds sound. (sound engineer for the band for everthing Dark side of the moon and earlier) and have your name in a Pink Floyd song (Alans Psychadelic Breakfast) I would think you can name your (awsome f*****g band) anything that you wish

11/2/2009 12:16:44 PM
jarrodzoso

LOL nickleback is so terrible and one of the worst names for a band. itd be 100 times cooler if, say, ur drug dealer was happy that u brought him a ton of customers today, so he gave u a free nickle bag... back...


and dave matthews sucks, i dont get y every girl aged 16-23 insists on how great he is.

11/2/2009 8:49:54 AM
choppin_meat420

30 Odd Foot of Grunt. Being Australian, I've unfortunately seen Russell interviewed about the name and he confirms the accumulated hieght of the band members as being the reason for the names. I've also unfortunately been able to see this incredibly s**t band play, and as there are 6 of them, I can state that the average height of them is NOT 5 feet tall.
And on another note, Russell doesn't spend most of his time on a gay ranch but on the most exclusive harbourside address in Sydney. He's still a massive poof though!

10/24/2009 6:22:43 PM
mattricks

How about the ridiculous symbol that once substituted for prince's name, or they might be giants...actually they might totally suck, or worst of all "yes" or "the band" or "the who"

10/21/2009 10:38:07 PM
ak_andy

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10/17/2009 6:06:24 AM
diamondsingle

Example of an awesome band name: Audrey Hepburn's Penis. It's something that doesn't exist, references a famous name, AND it's a dick joke. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

10/12/2009 7:31:06 PM
DrVenkman

Good article. And yes, there are some band names that aren't that ridiculous (Guns N' Roses, rage against the machine, Poison...). I'm not saying they make any sense, but at least they sound kinda cool and don't have such a retarded explanation or, quoting the article, don't "...invite you, the listener, on a subconscious simian level, to punch each of them in the face until they agree to change it." Can't explain it better than that.

10/10/2009 8:09:28 PM
Human_gs

i think this ARTICLE is pointless.
how is any band name NOT ridiculous.
you expect them to name themselves rockband1, rockband2, rockband3?
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHH!

10/3/2009 4:21:52 PM
wildr4bbits

@migga. lol if your being sarcastic.
And LOL if you arnt.
But seriously, !!!? What kind of a stupid name is that?

9/22/2009 9:00:09 PM
ShaunPhillips

Stone Temple Pilots's third album did have some psychedelic tones to it. Way to cherry-pick the least subtle song titles.

9/21/2009 9:15:36 AM
Tibs

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