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The 25 Most Ridiculous Band Names in Rock History

By Matt Wilson June 26, 2007 3,232,352 views
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Here's a scenario: You start a rock band, which you just happen to name after spending several hours huffing paint and drinking bleach. You spend a few years playing small clubs until you're discovered by a major label and start selling a lot of records. And suddenly you realize that the stupid name you thought up when you were huffing all that paint is going to follow you around for the rest of your life.

Here are the 25 bands who, regardless of their own musical quality, have the stupidest names on record.

#25-#23: Stealth Ridiculous

These band names aren't as laugh-out-loud idiotic as some of the others we'll get to-in fact, several of our staff admitted that Porno for Pyros was actually a pretty cool name. They're ridiculous in the sense that the more you think about them, the more they make no sense whatsoever.

#25.
Porno for Pyros

The story: Former Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell came up with the name while watching coverage of the LA riots on television. Presumably while jacking off.

Why it's ridiculous: Pornography for pyromaniacs is, for all intents and purposes, regular pornography. Sure, there are maybe a few crazy people out there getting sexual pleasure from watching videos of people setting fires-but your garden variety pyromaniac isn't renting College Slut Matches & Gasoline Party VII. He's out burning down the neighborhood Costco. It turns out they just really like burning stuff.

#24.
Nickelback

The story: Lead singer Chad Kroeger was having trouble coming up with a name, and so approached his brother, who worked at a Starbucks. Coffee was $1.95, which meant every customer who paid two bucks got-waiiiit for it-a nickel back. (It was either that or We're Sorry About the Homeless Man Shooting Up in the Bathroom.)

Why it's ridiculous: Asking cashiers at franchise coffee shops for career advice can only end in tragedy. (Kroeger suffered similar woes after getting a Wal-Mart greeter to do his taxes for him, resulting in the repossession of his house.) If you walk up to the cashier behind a Starbucks counter and, instead of ordering a Tall Sumatran, ask them to name your shitty band, odds are you're going to get something giving-people-change-for-coffee-based.

#23.
The Alan Parsons Project

The story: Founder Alan Parsons started a "project" with other "project administration personnel" to "drill down" on this whole "music" thing he'd heard so much about. So he named it that.

Why it's ridiculous: It's one thing to just name your band after yourself, like ego cases Dave Matthews and Ben Folds did. But once you've made the choice to be lazy, you're not allowed to get all clever with it afterwards. Besides, it makes the band sound like the sort of after-school activity all the kids who didn't make the basketball team got stuck with. "Today, class, we're going to build Alan Parsons... from common household items!"

Alan Parsons is a great producer you twit. Ever heard of Abbey Road, or Let it be? Maybe the band Wings? The Hollies or Dark Side Of the Moon? Some of the best in the biz use a bad band name here and there, but the music and the talent are more important than the name. Read up my friend
http://www.alanparsonsmusic.com/bio.php

7/2/2009 10:42:42 PM
dowtunis

Hello everyone. Nice to meet you all.



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7/1/2009 11:53:26 PM
alexson115

Fred Durst is a disgrace to music
I'm ashamed to know that he comes from around here (Jacksonville)

6/26/2009 12:53:07 PM
TheRunningMan

Why is Sunn O))) not on this list?

6/22/2009 3:13:27 PM
none140

The entire time I was reading this, I was thinking about !!!.

6/22/2009 12:46:25 PM
jam6212

what about the Butthole Surfers? you cant get any weirder than that....

6/21/2009 1:23:29 PM
pez

what about Chuck Norris Won't Die?

6/17/2009 9:27:01 PM
Oh_Boy_Mayhem

You forgot Gwar. Screw that, Gwar would be a good topic by themselves. A complete s**t show like no other.

6/1/2009 9:27:31 PM
JamaulHaul

Bowling for Soup!!!

5/31/2009 8:20:09 PM
BuddhaBelly

wut about jimmey eat world?
(or The Chuck Norris's)

5/30/2009 2:25:36 PM
chucknorris

Missed the Butthole Surfers, Mr. Wilson.

5/29/2009 4:23:45 PM
Doifebag

That picture of Def Leppard is not a picture of the actual band members but the cast of a VH1 movie about them.

5/26/2009 3:32:38 PM
jabberfat1

i wanna know the story behind 3oh!3

5/25/2009 7:17:47 PM
jufin

I think number one should have been the amazing 70's band, The Mystic Knights Of The Oingo Boingo.

5/24/2009 3:33:02 PM
Disgruntled

Okay, what about Cage the Elephant or Care Bears on Fire? Or Moosebutter? Not that Cage the Elephant or Moosebutter are bad. Care Bears on Fire suck, though.

5/22/2009 5:23:12 PM
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5/20/2009 8:51:22 AM
Shirleyxx

Men Without Hats? Crash Test Dummies? Matchbox 20 may suck, and so does the name, but when you consider there are roughly 20 matches in the box, it makes a little more sense -- enough to be edged out by The Presidents of the United States of America, at least...

5/18/2009 10:54:21 AM
iamfry

what about thousand foot crutch?!?

5/11/2009 11:16:03 AM
smurfinator1991

so what if it's one of your favorite bands, their name is still completely f*****g asinine!

i love goo goo dolls, but you don't hear me whining like a moron that they're on this list. their name is stupid, end of story. granted, it's not as asshattish as !!! (chk chk chk). what are they, aborigines?

5/9/2009 9:49:00 PM
liveincolor

For some reason it pissed me off that you put !!! (chk chk chk) (that's the full name fuckers) on here since that's one of my favourite bands, so what if people can't understand?
GRRRR

5/7/2009 5:44:11 PM
topshoprincess