The 8 Most Terrifying Anti-Meth Ads: From the Blog
Anyway, here's one recent post from the ol' blog that we thought you might enjoy. If this tickles your fancy, check out the rest of the Cracked blog sometime. Hell, it beats working!
For future reference, if someone at a party ever offers you meth, the ONLY proper response is to scream "NO," hit them in the face with a lamp, start running and never, ever stop.
Why? Because meth is the scariest fucking thing that's ever been unleashed on mankind. And, quite honestly, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS. All I know about it is that the state of Montana put together one of the most effective ad campaigns I ve ever seen to convince me to fear it.
In order of the level of horror they impart, I proudly present the eight most Requiem for a Dream-like and a subtextual analysis of each.
8. "Friends"
Subtext: Taking meth destroys all sense of responsibility and will dissolve all meaningful friendships you currently enjoy.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth makes you an extremely cautious, alert driver.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If at the end, the shot widened to reveal that the girl's friends left her at a Shakey's Pizza.
7. "Boyfriend"
Subtext: If you take meth, you will sleep with faceless middle-aged men at the behest of your enterprising boyfriend.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: If you take meth, you'll get laid.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If instead of consoling his girlfriend with a stroke on the arm, the young man offered her the rest of a diet root beer he'd been drinking.
6. "Mother"
Subtext: If you take meth, you will hit your mother and then lie about it in a voice over.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: If you take meth, you'll dress in keen stonewashed jeans, a swell vest and have a trendy haircut.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the framed photographs at the beginning were pictures of greyhounds dressed in deerstalker caps and smoking pipes.
5. "Junkie Den"
Subtext: Smoking meth makes everyone around you turn into cruel pseudo-zombies.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Smoking meth makes you popular.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If there were a dog in the background humping everything.
4. "Jumped"
Subtext: Smoking meth is worse than getting killed with a cinder block.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth will give you a retrospective clarity on par with the wisest sages of our time.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the bullies were played by the bully from Teen Wolf.
3. "Laundromat"
Subtext: Taking meth will make you a violent madman, able to knock a large man out with a single punch and frighten small children by simply screaming at them.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth will make you TRAVEL THROUGH TIME.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If instead of crying, the baby giggled uncontrollably when screamed at.
2. "Everything Else"
Subtext: DON'T SMOKE METH! DON'T FUCKING DO IT! AAAAAAGHHHH!
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Today's meth dealers are refreshingly honest.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the dealer went on to introduce the girl to her meth apartment, meth swimming pool, meth toaster, meth part-time job at a Starbuck's, and meth night classes at a City College.
1. "Bathtub"
Subtext: If you take meth, MONSTERS WILL ATTACK YOU IN YOUR BATHROOM.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth means you never have to shower again.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the person on the other end of the phone conversation were revealed to be a Southern Civil War General.
In case your pants are still dry, here's a link to a Youtube gallery that has the rest of the ads. The first person who can explain to me why this YouTube user has collected all of the Montana Anti-Drug ads wins a free hit of meth.
I remember these! The bathtub one actually did freak me out. So did the laundromat one. Kids freaking out like that is disturbing no matter what's going on.
ReplyIn all seriousness, people who do meth are indeed complete and total morons and need some MAJOR help.
I think my favorite of these ads was one from yeeears back, that had an upbeat catchy jingle on the lines of "Meth, ooooh Meth... I have the cleanest house in the neighborhood!" And showed a wigged out junkie girl scrubbing grout with her toothbrush. Now that one stuck with me.
ReplyLook at me.. busy as a bee... Where'd I get all this energy?
Meth... oooh Meth.
I don't sleep... and I don't eat... But I got the cleanest house on the street.
Meth... oooh meth.
why do people even do drugs? it's so goddamn expensive. why dont people just spend that money on some thing else? LIKE ANYTHING ELSE.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesBecause brillo sponges don't make cartoon network funnier.
A better question would be: why do people NOT do drugs? They're so goddamn good. Why don't people spend the money they do buying stupid s**t buying something that would actually make them feel good? And really, most drugs (Eh, maybe other than like, crack or smoked DMT or such) would probably make people feel good equally as long as buying many of the frivolous things people buy does. I mean, s**t, look at food. You could go out and buy a steak dinner for god only knows how much, or you could totally spend that money buying yourself some weed, smoke that s**t, then eat some bacon or something and it'll be equally as awesome.
I'm sorta joking obviously, as while that bacon would be really god damn good, sitting around smoking weed is still just sitting around (hard drugs completely ruin weed for many of us anyways). But it comes down to the fact that people do drugs to make themselves feel better. Ultimately, that's why people do much of what they do. For some reason I feel like there's a good chance you probably wouldn't have the same attitude if you saw a commercial for junk food, and yet the principle is exactly the same; people buy such things and consume it, despite the fact that they know full well it isn't good for them, because it makes them feel good. The same goes for watching television, drinking (alcohol is a drug anyways), gambling, any number of things.
To that one might respond "Yeah, all those aren't bad for you if you don't do them too much", and to that statement I'd have to say "Are you aware of the actual effects of most drugs on the body?", cause if you don't 'overdo' substance use, and do whatever you do safely, then there are little to no effects from substance use either. You see pictures of what are ostensibly meth users and how screwed up they are, and what isn't quite as obvious is the fact that these are people who have most likely using meth most every day, many times multiple times a day for years upon years. Many of the people they show to demonstrate the terrifying effects of meth are those who have been heavily addicted to meth for most of their adult life. For some reason I think that if they took a picture of some random dude who smoked meth once every few weeks when he's at a party where someone gives it to him for free and is perfectly happy and functioning without it, I think that the photos and overall effect would be significantly less dramatic. Take that and compare it to a hoarder, who bought and kept plenty of "like anything else" and probably isn't doing nearly as well as some people who are occasional drug users.
That's what my point is anyways; it doesn't matter what you're buying or doing or eating or anything, everything can be overdone (I hate saying that because I usually hear old people saying it, but it's true). Drug use should be viewed no differently than eating fast food. Actually, that's not even true, because someone could, for example, smoke weed 3 times a day for a week and not have all that many ill effects (other than an empty fridge and being sort of tired of smoking), whereas I know personally I'd probably be sick as a dog if I ate fast food 3 times a day for a week. And on top of it, in my mind, meth is the 'worst', if you will, of the hard drugs, and not because it's 'bad', because it seems to have some of the most averse effects of any drug on users and their brain chemistry. On top of it, since it's such a long lasting stimulant it not only gives people a reason to do dangerous or harmful stuff, but also gives them the energy and drive to do so.
When looking at something like opiates, my personal (well, somewhat former) devil, the drugs themselves (in proper dosage) cause little to no actual ill effects...I guess maybe certain forms can be somewhat difficult on the liver, but those effects are small and pale in comparison to most household medicines (hello ibuprofen). It's the addiction itself, unregulated quality of street drugs that are cut with god only knows what, and/or improper administration with soiled or used needles that causes the damage.
So there's your answer as to why people even do drugs. Because first of all, there are plenty of things in the world that are worse for you and/or cost more, and second of all people who spend their money on "anything else" often times aren't that much better off. Go take a look at hoarders/animal hoarders, morbidly obese people to whom eating is, hell, just like drugs or others with eating disorders, or compulsive gamblers, or any number of other people who never touched a drug but are way worse off than many a-drug user. Drug addiction, in the psychological sense, is a product of mental disorder, plain and simple. People ultimately turn to compulsive behavior because they feel that life otherwise is inadequate due to whatever issues they may have.
So while I'm attempting to make my argument rational, most times compulsive behavior isn't rational; most of the time we just know what feels good, and if we feel miserable otherwise we're going to return to what feels good. For many of us who have severe underlying issues, whether they be chemical/physical or psychological in nature, or an intertwined mess of both as is often the case, drugs, or hoarding, or eating, or whatever it is is that one thing we can turn to no matter how s****y things get (that's why you'll often hear that users are very 'ritualistic', since the 'ritual' is part of the comfort of drug use; like they'll prepare it in a certain way, or always do it in a certain place or listen to certain songs. That's all part of it), and that comfort of having what we know and feeling that much better trumps any negatives that come out, especially because our brain is trained to seek that sort of reward and ignore the negatives. That's also why old people seem to always talk about the 'good ol' days', despite the fact that we all know it was kinda s****y back then; the brain is trained to remember the good, and ignore the bad. Plus, many drug's effects on the brain are akin to a survival mechanism, and so to our brain drug use becomes a matter of life and death in a way...or at least that's what I've been told, I can't say I've ever identified that exact feature in myself or others around me.
Sorry that that was so long, but I've heard this question more than once and it kind of drives me crazy, especially because I know how someone who's never dealt with or seen drugs/addiction firsthand gets their information; they get it from other people who have no idea, or the ridiculous bullshit on TV that doesn't care about accuracy or information, just drama, or worst of all from 'drug educators' or sources like the DEA or groups like above the influence which are usually funded by anti-drug groups, people who have an interest in painting drugs and their users as insane and awful and that need to be locked up or destroyed. It's always sad because most times those who have addiction issues already have enough problems and are miserable enough without the world raining s**t down on em', and they're often times nice, very smart people who are having a really rough time and have gotten caught up in something they wish they didn't need. It's not fun being an addict, and nobody wants to be one. It just gets unbearable having to suffer constantly, every single day, to the point in which the short reprieve that drug use gives is just...indescribably relieving. That's why it's more complicated than asking "why do people do drugs?".
TL; DR
Cut the crap, Cracked!
ReplyThere is a very good reason why the term "Don't Meth Around" is still relevant.
Just wait until you've had tweekers for roomies--or worse yet, for a love partner!
When they say "Meth Is Death," it's not just the user who pays the ultimate price! We who loved-and-supported said addict often pay for their "fun," both in money and in lives lost.
Fact is, many of our County Jail inmates come in tweeking--and their crimes are a result of their addiction to "the poor boy's cocaine."
--RKJ
Well that just killed my meth buzz.
ReplyEvery school I've attended here seems to care solely about pot, tobacco, and alcohol. Even in high school, that's all they tell us about. I remember in 8th grade getting some pamphlet that talked about how marijuana "turns your brain to mush" and how it "both ruins yours and your mother's lives", yet absolutely nothing about meth, heroin, cocaine, pills, anything.
ReplyAnd guess what? A good quarter of my school does such drugs, and is even fucked up on them in class sometimes (mostly just pills, I imagine sitting through a lecture on coke would be pretty hard to do). Yet, I've had friends who've been snitched on by some little b***h for smoking pot earlier that day, or for having cigarettes in their car, and they've gotten expelled for that.
The meth labs sponsor the school district. Obviously.
I have a friend who's dad was addicted to meth and it was no laughing matter. I met the guy at her grad party and he didn't have any teeth and was crying and apologizing for being such a lousy dad when she was a kid. Real sad.
ReplyI don't know what else you can say but HOLY SHIT. But there is a reason for these ads. Meth is a huge problem, and it has very serious side effects. Why people do even do meth is something I don't understand.
ReplySame reason people do any other drug. For the rush. I have no experience in meth but that's my best guess. That and once you do it, you're pretty much hooked, its very very very addictive. Also if you compare it to the other hard drugs like heroin and cocaine, it is a whole lot cheaper and the high lasts much longer. A cocaine high lasts about 30 minutes or so, but meth highs can last more than 12 hours.
I only know this from watching the documentary titled: "Worlds Most Dangerous Drug."
whoever wrote this and alot of the commenters haven't seen what meth can do first hand, it ain't pot its serious shit. do crack do Ecstasy but dont do meth
ReplyI've done ecstasy and i can tell you its not even close to what happens to meth heads. They lose their teeth, they can get major brain damage, they rip their faces apart, etc. Ecstasy most likely will cause jaw pain but that's about it, although overdosing is really dangerous too.
dude you shoulda put the home break-in one on here, it's the best...sister too
ReplyMan this videos really killed my high.. Where's Roger
ReplyLOl,in my party days we just dumped them in ditches.
ReplyBreaking Bad makes meth cool... no wait, it makes it cool to watch.
Replycan i get the meth dealer (sans my meth face)? and since when do meth-friends share? shouldn't she have to do a meth-theft-and/or-robbery and meth-snatch homeboy's meth? do methfaces really look like someone took meth-toe-nail-clippers to the methlips?
ReplyMeth addicts often have insane hallucinations, which makes them believe bugs or something are crawling all over their body, that's why their faces often look all fucked up.
"And don't forget your METH FACE!" LMAO Classic I actually peed a little! That's replacing Rocky Lockridge's Best Cry Ever as my new ringtone
ReplyThat is absolutely terrifying!
ReplyYeah! f**k meth! It's scary stuff.
ReplyThat's why I do heroin.
#8 - Well, at least they took her to a hospital. When my mom was a teenager she woke up from a near-overdose to find out that her "friends" had panicked and hidden the van she was passed out in in the woods behind the school.
ReplyCracked really disappointed me here... how anyone could string together helpful ad campaigns and make jokes of all the 'off-camera' humour they could think of, is disgusting. I read the whole article and couldn't even smile. The only good thing in this article is how the truth of how SERIOUS this problem is rings louder than the excrement you pass off as 'humour'...
ReplyIf you had been smoking meth while reading this article you may find yourself able to better appreciate the humor. Good day sir.
Simple addition that would make the above comment hilarious: if CJPG turned out, as I expect, to be one of the people responsible for creation of the above ads, and is angry because they lost their job due to all the people laughing at the PSAs and turned to meth to dull the pain.
Actually that wouldn't be hilarious, it would just be kind of ironically humorous in a cynical kind of way...
#4 Mmmm Andy Biersack :$
Reply