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5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

By David Wong, TE Sloth October 29, 2007 4,541,894 views
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#2.
Neurogenesis

As seen in ...
Laboratories around the world.

What is it?
You know all that conversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.

You can see where this is going.

How it can result in zombies:
You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this article? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.

Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?

Well, not for long. They're already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.

Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.

That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.


Reanimation research (artist's rendering)

You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).

So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie. So there.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor.

How long until somebody tries this? We're betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.

Sorry zombies and zombiegirl, we show no mercy if you come to my anti zombie island. and watchout for the deathdealers on mainland gathering supplies, survivors rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11/6/2009 8:42:00 PM
Zombiekiller,OH

Drunk vs Zombie, sure, why not? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpwYQl8BH34

10/22/2009 5:07:59 PM
Vishus

Something like a zombie infection is already taking place in some ants, in the form of the Lancet Fluke. This parasite actually infects the nervous system of the host ant, causing behavior suicidal to the ant but necessary for the reproduction of the fluke. In principle, then, zombie ants already exist.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Could_zombies_exist&alreadyAsked=1&rtitle=Could_zombies_ever_exist

10/22/2009 4:33:11 PM
pcorgi

It's rather implausible, but it is entirely possible, at least in the "infection" sense, rather than the "dead rising from their graves" sense.

It is not entirely implausible that a bacterium or virus might mutate in such a way that it infects human brains and overrides, cuts off or destroys higher brain functions, leaving some of the more primitive systems intact, like recognition patterns, the drive to eat, motor control, etc.

Something like a zombie infection is already taking place in some ants, in the form of the Lancet Fluke. This parasite actually infects the nervous system of the host ant, causing behavior suicidal to the ant but necessary for the reproduction of the fluke. In principle, then, zombie ants already exist.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Could_zombies_exist&alreadyAsked=1&rtitle=Could_zombies_ever_exist

10/22/2009 4:33:02 PM
pcorgi

there is also another parasite that invades a cricket controls it's mind and forces the cricket to commit suicide by drowning so there's more than one of these parasites out there the one i'm talking aboout is called the gordian worm look it up they have videos of it all over the web so who knows how many parasites like these are out there not saying that zombies are going to take over but with the government trying to use anything for a weapon you never know

10/21/2009 1:48:36 AM
pcolalocal

Alright, here it goes. I do not believe that it's impossible to have a zombie apocalypse, although I do have some counter-parts to this article.

My first is that I believe it is possible for the parasite to evolve enough to be able to effect humans, but there is a treatment for it. It could turn into something like small pox where everybody just get's a shot for it. When the parasite "took over" the rat's mind's, results showed that when given a physcological medication (used to treat symptoms of Schizophrenia) it showed that it no longer responded to the parasite.

Also, it says that toxoplasma is associated with the damage of astrocytes. Which is also apart of the cause of Schizophrenia. Although you see things on tv where a lot of the killers and such are Schizophrenic, in reality if you're schizophrenic you're not going to go out and kill somebody. It mostly alters your emotions and makes you become dilusional. IF this parasite is somewhat like Schizophrenia, the chances of it coming to the point where you'd eat other people's brains is slightly low.

The other thing I have a question to, is this. Cats eat rats, so the parasite alters the rats mind to make the cat eat it so it can reporduce within the cats intestines. If this is the case, why would the parasite alter the human brain in order for humans to eat other humans?

I suppose that it is all. I do not cancel out the chance of a zombie apocalypse, I just do not agree with this article.

10/18/2009 11:45:35 AM
Katie1028

I am sorry, but I cannot stand people that do things like try and get attention via interwebs. Chick zombie lady is not a canibal, she wants attention. Oh well, none of my business. I hope zombies do attack, though. I'mma kick some butt.

10/17/2009 10:32:06 AM
AshOfTheDead

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10/17/2009 6:09:48 AM
diamondsingle

The most likely apocalypse is a zombie apocalypse, numb nuts.
You doubters know nothing. Go f**k a bible or something.
I can't wait 'til that day comes because you guys will have too much of an ego to accept the fact that the apocalypse would be happening and you would be the first to go. And we would thank your god for that.

10/14/2009 6:35:23 AM
me.tapiaaa

That zombiegirl chick is an idiot...

10/13/2009 8:57:04 PM
yomama99

I think
it's going to be a new, stronger version of rabies. Think about it; you froth, you bite, that's how it's transferred, you're batshit insane..
Rabies. I'm f*****g ready.

10/13/2009 3:24:42 PM
Hilabee

Zombie Dude...YOUR ARE A f*****g NUT CASE DOUSCHBAG HAHAHAHAHAHAHA your so full of s**t i cant stop laughing ahhhh i havent seen anything that funny online in a while. your pathetic you fantasy hollywood f**k. there is no science behind that jargin you wrote either. you have got to be bi polar or skitzo, like with out a doubt. HAHAHAHA!!!

10/11/2009 12:34:31 PM
sicoresniper

Jesus Katjie way to kill the buzz of this article, just enjoy it and dont analyze it too much!!

10/10/2009 6:05:25 PM
5lats

Hate to burst your blood filled bubble on the point of zombie death no.3, but...

CJD is basically a disease that turns human brain into sponge. It's only within one of the very early stages where it attacks the part of the brain that regulates emotions that any form of violence would happen, as this causes mood swings which, to be honest, are outswung by the average pregnant lady.

Even if one day it gets bad enough to become Crazy-Ass-Cow disease, the violent stage would last about 2 minutes, before being quickly followed by a total inability to walk, let alone go in search of brainz

10/6/2009 11:35:26 AM
Katjie

dude your f*****g retarded your not a zombie and they aren't going to rise one day, its all bs get out of fantasy land and realize its all hollywood althought it would be pretty cool if they did but its like pokemon you can only wish it was real. we are more likely to get hit by a meteor or sucked into a black hole then have a zombie out break

10/5/2009 8:40:32 AM
attila

Zombie haiku contest, post your entries at http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-23718-Tulsa-Zombie-Examiner~y2009m10d1-Zombie-haiku-contest. Thanks all

10/2/2009 11:15:49 AM
Fearpepito

I know this is terribly old but I would just like to say something to everyone who is under this assumption that zombies are the living dead. We are not. We do not crave brains either. One day there will be a zombie apocalypse and I'll be sitting on the sidelines laughing. Zombieism is another form of cannibalism in the making. You all just wait in see. We will rise and you will fall. All this scientific talk just makes people look stupid. And yes I am being completely serious about all this. Becoming a Zombie isn't that hard, you just need to get bitten, no need for bleeding, for the invasion of your mind to begin. Being a Zombie is truely and 100% fantastic. :]

10/1/2009 2:39:45 PM
ZombieGirl

Ok I Know That Zombies R Not Real U guys Make No Sense At All.

10/1/2009 1:29:15 PM
Vanpirina45

okay im on a ds.the zombie virus wont happen because of parasites it could happen the halloween day.it could only happen in the most people who died.zombies arnt real who ever watched resident evil acoclyspes it will only happen if we have the zombie virus.canada has it and there hiding from not spreading god...

9/30/2009 5:16:15 PM
zombieguy09

Long story short: no. Do that many people really have this? Probably not. The number is pure speculation. In order to get it you would have to basically eat something after cleaning cat s**t and not wash your hands...AND...you'd have to do that within the first 7 to 10 days after the cat was first infected since that's the only time when it's contagious. Also, it really only affects the personalities of being who get it as babies or while still inside their mothers. It then affects brain development. Normal people with healthy immune systems should have no side effects if they contract this. At worst it has been shown to cause some mild personality changes in people; women show slower reaction to physical stimuli and men show slightly stronger predilections toward jealousy. Big whoop. This article is 100% entertainment. A zombie apocalypse is no closer to happened thanks to this parasite. Oh, and guess what? If you're super duper paranoid...some blood tests can detect it, and some funky antibiotics/chemical treatments can rid you of it. Even though you're ok if you have a healthy immune system. Have AIDS? Then you should worry...

9/29/2009 5:17:33 PM
WallpaperDude
Cracked stuff on