8 Important Lessons Learned from '80s Cartoons
|
We'd like to point out that we're aware of the fact that some of the cartoons listed below did not originate in the '80s. However, they were on during the '80s, that's when we watched them, so they're '80s cartoons to us. It's like when we refer to bedwetting as "late '90s behavior." Without further ado...  LESSON: Communism works! For naysayers who point to the Former Soviet Union as proof that communism is inherently flawed, may we merely direct your attention to Smurf Village, where everyone shares everything, wears similar utilitarian clothing, battles Gargamel and his turn-Smurfs-to-gold get rich quick schemes and obeys the dictates of a bearded, red hat-wearing, benevolent authority figure. Quoth Comrade Papa: "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs." Really, he actually said that. How it affected us as adults: Secret communist agendas ceased being dangerous, or really any adjective of consequence, years ago. The worst thing communism does these days is make Ivy League students waste a couple of years wearing ugly clothes and attending boring meetings. However, the sexual politics of Smurf Village, with its one female for every 30 guys, did go a long way towards preparing us for freshman year of college.  LESSON: Spinach is good for you. Sure, it doesn't taste as good as candy, ice cream or opium, but it' full of essential vitamins and minerals that'll make your muscles explode like battleship cannons. If you want to triumph over the bullying Blutos of the world and win the affections of your own lovely, leggy Olive Oyl, pound a can of spinach at least once a day. Or put it in your corncob pipe and smoke it, like everybody' favorite ornery, mumbling sailorman. Toot toot! How it affected us as adults: You only need to look at the steroid scandal rocking Major League Baseball to see that Popeye raised a generation that is willing to use performance enhancers. Also, it should be pointed out that Olive Oyl was the first anorexic sex symbol. |
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Digg
Del.icio.us
FarkRecommended for Your Pleasure
-
6 Star Wars Characters Too Retarded for Film
by: Tom Gibbens747,278 views -
6 'Brilliant' Movie Scientists (Who Suck At Their Job)
645,277 views -
6 Magical Movie Items They Wasted on Bullshit
551,624 views -
6 Famous Characters You Didn't Know Were Shameless Rip Offs
by: Juan Arteaga1,744,525 views
Freakin cracked...I don't care which over-educated self-righteous p***k is doing the final editing or what elitist english-major-nazi-f**k decided the policy but you can't goddamn f*****g drop the S after ALL the apostrophes!!! I understand if the word ends in S, fine, like "Hey, who's coke is this??? oh that's Jones' f*****g coke" FINE! FINE!!! It would look retarded any other way. But seriously, to say "cowards who turn tail and run whenever G.I. Joe' laser guns get to zappin'" is f*****g stupid, no matter what your Prof told you in your 16th year of college as you continued to refuse to pick a decent career. Notice the word at the end employs an apostrophe as well? I understand its grammatically correct but it LOOKS f*****g STUPID! Goddamn grammar nazi's, one out of every five people i meet is like this and i'm sick to death of it. PUT THE GODDAMN S's (i see it, f**k you) IN YOUR ARTICLE!!!
Uh, why is there a disembodied Scooby paw copping a feel on Velma's chest?
f**k those commie smurfs. They're all asexual retards that should have been wiped out by gargamel in a day
I remember taht one dude with the giant iron fist in the He-Man toys. This was many years before the pervert in me thought of just what dirty things that dude could do with the big metal fist.
Many people are discussing it at single dating club s e e k a m i l l i o n a i r e . c o m ,
where the successful and affluent singles and hot girls and models to hook up for Hot Love, Flirt and Sexy Dating!★★★★★ ★★★★★ ★★★★★
Anna1573one more thing...He man always hung around Man-At-Arms. What did he do with his arms? Where did he put his arms? makes you think...doesn't it?
What about the lesson..."Magic swords...give you testicles!"
Skeletor always got his butt whipped by a limp wristed psudo-hero called HE-MAN (obviously a fairy-like Pseudonym)who likes to ride on a cat! I mean c'mon...He always hung out in the castle with his cat, sister, and his parents only to leave to play half-naked dress up with his magic sword! ....and yet we watched!
either way, the bloody thing would be in French.
If you are going to be onboxious, at least do your research right. The smurfs were written by a Belgian artist, named Peyo.
Concidering the Smurfs are from France, any hidden meaning in their name would have to be en francais
He-Man and Transformers brings back alot of happy memories.
Now who wouldnt want to have that freaking awesome sword he has?? :D
Obviously the floating paw in the scooby doo picture is feeling Velma up.
There's a paw in the scooby doo picture because it's a screenshot from an old scooby doo game, in which your cursor was a paw.
Yah, what's up with the crazy floating paw on the scooby doo picture?
April O'Neil FTW!
April o'Neil is DAMNED hot. I think she's where my initial love of giant tits came from. b***h was packin' DEEZ
(thats D-cups, just to clarify. She had very large breasts.)
Good stuff!!
****** Seek Rich. --c om ******where you can hook up the wealthy singles,sexy beauties. Find your sexy partner easier and more effective! What are you waiting for? Just sign up and hook up the sexy singles now! (18+ please)
Joan Jett STILL gets me hard; and, I fear, always will.
Now I just have to figure out how to grow some tits and a vagina.
"put it in your pipe and smoke it!"~ as said by popeye
jk
More on Movies & TV
-
6 Beloved TV Shows (That Traumatized Cast Members For Life)
926,622 views -
5 Badass Movie Characters You Didn't Know Were Real People
918,198 views -
The 5 Most Maddeningly Unresolved TV Plot Lines
897,413 views -
7 Horrifying Moments from Classic Kids Movies
850,090 views
-
Curse of the Duck Hunt Dog
by: Tremendosaur60,235 views -
6 Types Of Youtube Videos There Are Waaay Too Many Of
by: Michael Swaim236,419 views
-
Articles
-
Videos
-
Columnists
-
More Cracked
-
About
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Hey daylandrew.... Um... Shutup?