Bat Battle: Who's The Best Movie Batman?
Michael Keaton. Christian Bale. Val Kilmer. George Clooney. Even, yes, Adam West (he did a Batman film during the TV show's run). All of them have donned the bat-ears, the billowy cape, and the pointy gloves for one movie or another, to varying levels of success. Some became fan favorites; others, The Batmen We Do Not Speak Of.
We've gone back through all the batfilms and watched them exhaustively-even Batman & Robin, so that should tell you how seriously we took it. Examining criteria as diverse as ass-kicking ability, scoring tail, and homoerotic undertones, we crunch the numbers to give you the Best Movie Batman Ever (so far).
#5. ADAM WEST - Batman: The Movie (1966)
Coolness of Costume
In a word: dignified. That's what Adam West's Batman isn't. Tiny little nubbin bat-ears, a bat emblem that looks like it's slid halfway down his sallow, pectorally-absent chest, and a cape so wrinkled it makes one wonder if Batman had a long layover in Houston with his costume bunched up in his carry-on.
The worst offense, though, has to be the painted-on eyebrows. The point of Batman's costume is to strike fear in the hearts of criminals, not to make them wonder why he always looks surprised to see them, like he recognizes them from high school or something. "Tom... Tom Franklin? You son of a bitch, get over here, you!"
Also, we didn't bother to include a picture of Batman's bat-package (you're welcome), but let's just say '60s Batman's genital-hugging blue satin panties don't leave a lot to the imagination. Ignorant as to whether or not Adam West is circumcised? Anybody who watched Batman: The Movie can't, unfortunately, say the same.
Ass-Kicking Ability
BatWest fights like someone having a stroke. To be fair, Batman: The Movie's
supposed to be campy. To once again be unfair, it looks like they didn't so
much choreograph their fights as just run around
flailing their arms like the set just caught on fire:
[whistling] Man, let that in. BatWest just got his ass handed to him there by a quacking Burgess Meredith with a pillow under his tuxedo. That's the point in your crime-fighting career where you just need to stop and frankly assess some things that might have gotten away from you. If BatWest had to fight a six-year-old girl on crutches, frankly, it could go either way.
Those Wonderful Toys
BatWest had the Batmobile, the Batcopter, the Batcycle, and the
Batcave. But whatever-every Batman has those. What
puts BatWest's bat-gadgets head and shoulders above any other movie Batman's gadgets was his magical utility belt, which housed roughly 60
billion bat-themed doohickeys that could be pulled out in any situation
whatsoever. Need something soldered? Batblowtorch! Getting gassed by
the Penguin? Anti-Penguin gas pills! Want a sandwich sliced? Batlaser! Motherfucker even had Bat-shark repellent on hand:
Smoothness with the Ladies
BatWest must have realized how not macho he looked running around in
tight satin panties, and so overcompensated with his alter ego Bruce Wayne, swinging '60s bachelor. The sly grin, slicked-back hair, and ascot (right) combine to make him look like the guest star on an all-sexual predator episode of The Love Boat. Come. And. Get it, ladies.
Plus, if the tell-all autobiographies written by the cast are to be believed, Adam West spent the majority of the TV series and motion picture getting drunk, doing drugs, and attempting to nail any co-star with a pulse and a vagina. Whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing depends, we suppose, on your stance on this sort of behavior and whose autobiography you're reading.
Posse
Robin "helps out" (i.e., gets
kidnapped every 10 minutes), and Commissioner Gordon and Irish stereotype Chief "Bless Me Shamrocks" O'Hara
could be counted on to be useless enough to need Batman's assistance
on pretty much every single crime committed in Gotham City. Take a breath mint
from the Commissioner's desk without asking, and he'd be leaping across
his office to the Batphone to get some help cracking the case.
Homoerotic Subtext?
BatWest got around that whole "living (and fighting crime in his underpants) with a minor"
thing by having Aunt Harriet move in with them, presumably to keep an
eye out for any shenanigans of the homosexual variety. Having said that, they managed to hide
secret identities and a vast underground cave fortress with a helicopter pad from her, meaning
she was either pretty liberal about the whole thing or had the observational skills of a particularily stupid earthworm.
Trick question, it's the 90's cartoon Batman.
ReplyI think that Clooney would actually be great in the role if Batman and Robin had been a better movie. Don't look at him as Batman but Bruce Wayne: A handsome rich guy who loves to help people and save the world but can be a bit of a douche.
ReplyClooney all over.
Bale takes it, but it certainly doesn't hurt that he was in films vastly superior to the ones that went before
ReplyBale was the best Batman, but honestly, Adam West takes the cake as second best. His Bats matched the period's, and his Bruce Wayne made you believe that he got tail. Man was talented. Not to mention he didn't try and downplay the campiness. The show was honestly funny and is still nice to watch!.
ReplyEach Joker was different in their own sense, and it's supposed to be that way.
ReplyPersonally, though, Ledger is my favourite and his performance is unsurpassable. =)
I really liked the other Batman actors as a kid, but now that I know how to tell the difference between awful and pathetic, and badass and plausible, I'd say that Keaton and Bale's Batmen were the best. Batman and Batman Returns went in the right direction, Tim Burton making Batman dark and brooding like he is supposed to be. I suppose he was portrayed as dark and brooding in Batman Forever, but the cheesey effects and Jim Carrey make it kind of just crap. I thought Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were the most realistic portrayals of Batman with a really good origin story. And Ledger Joker.
ReplyKevin Conroy is the best Batman!
Replyone thing for sure, Joker Ledger is the best Joker.
ReplyI don't think its fair to compare them. Cesar Romero was playing the role in a camp comedy. Jack Nicholson's Joker was an actual character with a real name and an origin. Ledger's Joker, by contrast, wasn't so much a character as a force of nature. I find it hard to compare them because the actors set out to accomplish three very different goals.
I have to agree with Annoying here in that, while Heath's Joker is my personal favorite, Nicholson and Ledger were portraying different takes on the character. Jack, while awesome, was more of a traditional rendition of Joker (besides having him kill Bruce's parents). Heath turned him into a whole other animal, one which I think was more suited to Nolan's universe. Also, one of my favorite versions of the Joker in any medium is probably Mark Hamill's crazy awesome voice work for the animated show, if you're willing to give it a shot.
"...and so offers Unpleasantness a job as Robin". Beautiful, man. Just beautiful. Giggled mightily at that one
ReplyAnd the order you put them in is perfect
Christian Bale. Adam West. Nothing else.
Replyadam west batman should officially have been called fagman with those stupid ass cheap prostitute-looking eye brows
ReplyDon't mince words.
bale's the best batman (despite that horrible, horrible growl) and keaton's the best bruce wayne
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesFunny, i'd have said the exact opposite, i think Bale's a better Bruce Wayne and Keaton was a better Batman.
Because Bale's Bruce Wayne acts like a selfish, clueless, snobby, playboy it makes for a much better cover. I wouldn't expect someone like that to be out on the streets risking their life every night.
Keaton as Batman was just natural, he didn't need to growl, he just sort of whispers and it sounds threatening. Plus he had a ton of more memorable moments than Bale's Batman.
thing is though, I don't remember Keaton as Batman kicking ass nearly as hard as Bale. Hard to beat an ex-ninja trained by Liam Neeson.
I really liked Bale's ability to play both sides of the character. I know his Bat-voice isn't the greatest, but his presence and ass-kicking-ness as Batman is spot-on for that character aspect. And when he's being a millionaire playboy partier, it is also spot-on. Batman is a tricky role, since there are the two aspects to play, and I have to agree with the author that Bale has done it best.
Adam West shouldn't be compared with the others, he was a completely different Batman and the best for it.
ReplyAbout the other 4, I'd say Michael Keaton is the best.
Bale is NOT the best Batman! He sounds like a sexually repressed cookie monster cruising for rough trade. And Heath Ledger only gets the props because he died. When he did Knight's Tale you guys were ALL calling him a pussy.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesIt's your opinion, but Heath Ledgers Joker was by far the best. Sure, OD'ing helped him get get sim posthumous attention. Just look at the emotion he and effort he puts into Joker. Like when Joker blows up the hospital and gets annoyed because he has to smck the trigger device to make the final explosion work.
He did a good job as the Joker. I've never seen the film "Knight's Tale" though. It sounds like you have though, benkenon. Why is that, exactly?
The funny part was the hospital explosion was ad-libbed by Ledger, the charges didn't go off on time and he started hitting the trigger and they blew. epic.
god, i cant wait for the Dark Knight rises...
ReplyITS GONA BE SO f*****g AWESOME!!!!!! Anne freaking Hathaway as Catwoman, the most awesome BatJet ever, a decent Bane (personaly i think they should have got someone like Kane or the Undertaker in to play Bane)
R.I.P Heath Ledger
A wrestler? Pfft no way, they are good at what they do but they are NEVER good in movies. Tom Hardy on the other hand is a force of nature, can't wait to see his Bane
My grandmother accidentally bought the West Batman movie for my brother for Christmas (back in '89 or '90) instead of the Keaton one. Imagine that 11 year old's disappointment. We did laugh our asses off watching it though - it's so terrible(y great!) (And someone eventually bought him the Keaton movie that he'd hoped for)
ReplyI love how Burgess Meredith (penguin) nails Robin with his umbrella at the end of that video.
ReplyThey need a "Best Batman Villain" list. Here's mine (comment and opinions pretty please?)
Reply1) Joker (a) Mark Hamill b) Heath Ledger
2) Ra's (Pronounced RAHZ not RAYSH) Al Ghul as portrayed by Liam Neeson
3) Scarecrow as portrayed by Cillian Murphy
4) Two Face (as portrayed by Aaron Eckhart)
5) Hugo Strange
Good list, just switch #2 and #4 and we all good.
Even though it's animated I really prefer Hamill's Joker to all others. he totally catches the character and makes it his. In Arkhm Asylum all the animated actors do the in game voices and that Joker is just perfect.
You should have included the "Arkham Asylum" and "Arkham City" Batman in this. They may have been video games, but they were each still designed to tell a story (good ones at that) and had some of the finest damn voice acting I've ever seen in a video game, at least from the villains. Batman not so much. Mark Hamill voicing the Joker was fantastic though, as were the voices of Penguin, Catwoman, Two-Face, and even Hugo Strange and Harley Quinn. And the costumes in both games for everyone were beyond compare, especially Catwoman's. O, and the fact that Ras al Ghul made an appearance makes the whole damn thing better.
ReplyThis article was written in 2007.
best batman: Kevin Conroy best joker: Mark Hammil
ReplyI stand corrected.