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Michael Keaton. Christian Bale. Val Kilmer. George Clooney. Even, yes, Adam West (he did a Batman film during the TV show's run). All of them have donned the bat-ears, the billowy cape, and the pointy gloves for one movie or another, to varying levels of success. Some became fan favorites; others, The Batmen We Do Not Speak Of. We've gone back through all the batfilms and watched them exhaustively-even Batman & Robin, so that should tell you how seriously we took it. Examining criteria as diverse as ass-kicking ability, scoring tail, and homoerotic undertones, we crunch the numbers to give you the Best Movie Batman Ever (so far). #5. ADAM WEST - Batman: The Movie (1966)
Coolness of Costume
The worst offense, though, has to be the painted-on eyebrows. The point of Batman's costume is to strike fear in the hearts of criminals, not to make them wonder why he always looks surprised to see them, like he recognizes them from high school or something. "Tom... Tom Franklin? You son of a bitch, get over here, you!" Also, we didn't bother to include a picture of Batman's bat-package (you're welcome), but let's just say '60s Batman's genital-hugging blue satin panties don't leave a lot to the imagination. Ignorant as to whether or not Adam West is circumcised? Anybody who watched Batman: The Movie can't, unfortunately, say the same. Ass-Kicking Ability [whistling] Man, let that in. BatWest just got his ass handed to him there by a quacking Burgess Meredith with a pillow under his tuxedo. That's the point in your crime-fighting career where you just need to stop and frankly assess some things that might have gotten away from you. If BatWest had to fight a six-year-old girl on crutches, frankly, it could go either way. Those Wonderful Toys
Smoothness with the Ladies Plus, if the tell-all autobiographies written by the cast are to be believed, Adam West spent the majority of the TV series and motion picture getting drunk, doing drugs, and attempting to nail any co-star with a pulse and a vagina. Whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing depends, we suppose, on your stance on this sort of behavior and whose autobiography you're reading. Posse Homoerotic Subtext? |
Oh, and for the record, BatKeaton's movies were terrible. Keaton himself was all right, but it's a downright lie that "Batman Forever marks the point where the villains were officially considered more interesting than Batman himself." The villains were always the main characters in the original franchise. Jack Nicholson got TOP FUCKING BILLING in the first movie, and for damn good reason too; BatKeaton had so little to DO in that movie that I wondered why they bothered including him at all. At least Batman Begins focused on BATMAN.
By far the smartest decision Christopher Nolan made was to have the Joker in the second movie instead of the first. This way, he already had the tedious origin story out of the way, so he didn't need to distract from the awesome that was the Joker.
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The fact that BatConroy (B:TAS) did not make this list only goes to show how pathetic Mr. Pinkerton's crush on Bale truly is. Kevin Conroy was not only Batman way longer than any of these other BatFakes were, he kicked some villian's butt at least once every week for years. BatKilmer and BatClooney ran away and hid after their movies, and BatKeaton and BatBale were so sick of the fight it took them three years each just to put on the suit again.
The desert camo Batmobile makes sense. There are very few rivers in the Mid-East, but those that exist are strategically important, such as the Tigris, Jordan, Euphrates, Nile, etc.
The best Batman is the animated one from TAS. All these live-action guys suck. What's with the rubber suits? Christian Bale is absolutely horrible with his silly voice & lispy mouth. The other guys can't turn their heads & Adam West is silly.
I'm still waiting for a decent live-action Batman.
I think someone should write about the villains in batman. Actually, just Arnold as Mr. Freeze. I just watched that movie and it was pretty much a comedy, not an action film. At one point when Mr. Freeze is escaping with his diamond, he gives a thumbs up and says "Cool Party!" in that hilarious Austrian voice of his. The result is many replayings of that moment.
For my money, it doesn't get any better than Keaton. I'd like Christian Bale if he didn't sound like he got a Falcon Punch to the windpipe every time he spoke.
Michael Keaton is still the best as of August 2008, Clooney is the worst and the 'batmen' in dark knight do a better job than Clooney :). But I have to say this again KEATON ROCKS AS BATMAN.
his name is michael keaton the best batman eva!!!!!
erk06, its called denial.
definitely keaton! he was a brilliant batman and clearly proved himself with the first two films, which remain the best batman films....mmmhhmmm.
Michael Keaton is the best one. He put on the bat suit and looks at you like: "Im a man in a rubber suit, and I can still seriously Kick some ass"
Clooney is the worst Batman everjavascript:document.comments.submit();.
But what about Lewis Wilson? Shafted again! (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0035665/)
To be fair: Keaton's character did NOT reveal himself to his love interests: Alfred dimed out his employer to Vicky Vale and Catwoman found out at the same moment he realized who he was.
And Clooney was not a bad Batman - it's just that Batman and Robin was an atrocity. It's not George C's fault he had to have bat nipples.
I agree 100 percent that Bale is the best.
I really like the inhuman growl BatBale used of the past two - it really made you understand just how he got to be such a feared figure.
And for the third movie, I'm hoping they bring out Harley Quinn, as a woman who's lover was taken from her (assuming Joker was killed here) by Batman, and just out for his blood. Batmans death is her only real end. That would look good.
I agree with Onodera on this. Clooney was just a horrible Batman, even though it might not be his fault entirely because everything else sucked (script, director, etc.). Also, if you're gonna use someone's else's voice, then HELL NO with Keaton. Use Kevin Conroy, the guy who did Batman's voice on the cartoon! His voice is PERFECT for Batman.
Manleyart: you are gay wrong, I mean dead wrong. Nothing of Clooney should be in Batman. I haven't seen a batman movie since I saw a preview of Clooney as Batman way back when.
Grrr! Let's play Barbies.
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Can't wait to read the comments on this article.
Some great presidents acted like super villains.
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In my opinion, they haven't hired an actor who's done justice to the caped crusader yet! Really, "Beetlejuiceman?" "Doc Holiday Wayne?" "Bat-the facts of life man?" And really, what's with Bale sounding like Gollum after a 24 hour deep throatathon?