Bat Battle: Who's The Best Movie Batman?
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Michael Keaton. Christian Bale. Val Kilmer. George Clooney. Even, yes, Adam West (he did a Batman film during the TV show's run). All of them have donned the bat-ears, the billowy cape, and the pointy gloves for one movie or another, to varying levels of success. Some became fan favorites; others, The Batmen We Do Not Speak Of. We've gone back through all the batfilms and watched them exhaustively-even Batman & Robin, so that should tell you how seriously we took it. Examining criteria as diverse as ass-kicking ability, scoring tail, and homoerotic undertones, we crunch the numbers to give you the Best Movie Batman Ever (so far). #5. ADAM WEST - Batman: The Movie (1966)
Coolness of Costume
The worst offense, though, has to be the painted-on eyebrows. The point of Batman's costume is to strike fear in the hearts of criminals, not to make them wonder why he always looks surprised to see them, like he recognizes them from high school or something. "Tom... Tom Franklin? You son of a bitch, get over here, you!" Also, we didn't bother to include a picture of Batman's bat-package (you're welcome), but let's just say '60s Batman's genital-hugging blue satin panties don't leave a lot to the imagination. Ignorant as to whether or not Adam West is circumcised? Anybody who watched Batman: The Movie can't, unfortunately, say the same. Ass-Kicking Ability [whistling] Man, let that in. BatWest just got his ass handed to him there by a quacking Burgess Meredith with a pillow under his tuxedo. That's the point in your crime-fighting career where you just need to stop and frankly assess some things that might have gotten away from you. If BatWest had to fight a six-year-old girl on crutches, frankly, it could go either way. Those Wonderful Toys
Smoothness with the Ladies Plus, if the tell-all autobiographies written by the cast are to be believed, Adam West spent the majority of the TV series and motion picture getting drunk, doing drugs, and attempting to nail any co-star with a pulse and a vagina. Whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing depends, we suppose, on your stance on this sort of behavior and whose autobiography you're reading. Posse Homoerotic Subtext? |
BatWest must have realized how not macho he looked running around in
tight satin panties, and so overcompensated with his alter ego Bruce Wayne, swinging '60s bachelor. The sly grin, slicked-back hair, and ascot (right) combine to make him look like the guest star on an all-sexual predator episode of The Love Boat. Come. And. Get it, ladies. 
BatWest got around that whole "living (and fighting crime in his underpants) with a minor"
thing by having Aunt Harriet move in with them, presumably to keep an
eye out for any shenanigans of the homosexual variety. Having said that, they managed to hide
secret identities and a vast underground cave fortress with a helicopter pad from her, meaning
she was either pretty liberal about the whole thing or had the observational skills of a particularily stupid earthworm.
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Michael Keaton was the best BATMAN. Val Kilmer would be my second choice.
Christian bale was the worst! hehehe George C. was even better than Christian and George was the bottom of the list. Come on whats with the raspy "im trying to hard to be something im not" voice? I like what they did with the movie I wish they would have left the costume alone the Keatonbat costume was So badass and whats that tank? the batmobiel?
The One In "BATMAN" was amazing. New bat man is Ok, not as good as the Tim burton ones.
All Hail The Keaton!
President, Batman, Beteljuice himself! Oh yea.
I'm sorry but Christian Bale ruined it for me. I think his deep voice sucked. I didn't see Batman Begins, so when I went to see The Dark Knight in theaters I laughed out loud when I first heard him speak as Batman. It was really lame.
Michael Keaton was my favorite Batman. When I was a little girl, I had the biggest crush on him. I'm almost ashamed to admit it though.
@ Plangkye
This was published pre-Heath Ledger Joker, so I don't think they were necessarily defending Nicholson Joker from Ledger Joker. They were pretty much just defending him in general.
Not alot going on in the villians department for Batman Begins? What about Jonathan Crane! He has f*****g fear gas...that's cool. XD I just felt the need to defend my second favorite Batman character. I'll shut up now.
"Jack Nicholson as the Joker. Can't argue with that."
No. No, you can't. And if you do, you're a f*****g retard. Thank you, Cracked, for acknowledging that Jack Nicholson is the best damn Joker there ever was and ever will be.
Apart from the costume, which has obviously improved over time given the increased technology, Adam West remains the most awesome Batman (that is, if like me, you just watch it for laughs)!
One more improvement for Batbale: the mask. Adam West's looks surprised, but Batbale looks pissed - in a "I'm pissed you're still around and not in jail or hospital" way.
Dude, they didn't mention the bat-summoner sonar thing in the gadgets sections. I almost shat myself when that happened.
I BatBale not just for looks and that sexy deep throated bat voice he does...but because he nails that brooding, troubled personality that I think Batman should have.
With BatKilmer coming in second place
Three notes
1. BatBale is, from a lady's perspective, the only hot one. Yumyum.
2. The gravelly voice scares the bejesus out of me. That is the POINT. Making the criminals fear you is rather necessary when you are Batman.
3. Maggie Gyllenhaal > Katie Holmes, but she still sucks. I'd vote for Kidman's character out of all the women mentioned in this article. Having Harley Quinn as a villain might be excellent, depending how they do it.
It is legal to stab whoever cast George Clooney as Batman right?
After reading a lot of Batman comics if somebody still thinks Schumacher's junkie riddler(?) or Burton's Joker was 'The' Real Joker, then ALL those comics must be junk. Because all that matters is Quality and not Quantity.
I suggest you all discard everything else and read the following Top 25 Critically Acclaimed BAT-NOVELS (Especially No. 3 - 'The Killing Joke') at www.IGN.com. This is the Solution once and for all.
Except No. 17 and 20, I possess all those Bat-Novels plus 'War-Games' and I recommend them to all wannabe (and pretending) Bat-Fans. And then decide for yourself which movie-Batman and movie-Joker stands where.
not for nothing, but bigM is right. A friend has read all batman comics since 5 and says the same thing: Jim Carrey's riddler was more like the Joker in the comics. Carrey's riddler was just Jim Carrey wearing a riddler suit, basically.
And i don't think Bale was the best batman, although the fact he's batman for 90% of the movie made it bearable.
Either way i just went to the theater repeatedly to see Ledger's joker, since i found him uber sexy as a madman - as the joker, i dunno.
Adam West. Number One. All Time. Everyday.
I am such a big fan of you since last year. Wish everything goes well for you. Can you do me one favor? just tell me is it you on W e a l t h y s o u l M a t e .C O M .
alicehuang'Murphy2112', If we talk of the Frank Miller's novel 'Year One' then Batman Begins(2005) had a lot more similarities with it than Batman(1989) had, such as:
1. MAJOR ONE: Corruption depicted in the legal system.
2. The fight scenes (Batman landing right between in the centre of three to four baddies on an elevated platform and giving them a spanking in all directions.)
3. Batman being cornered in an abandoned tenement in 'Year One' (Arkham Asylum in 'BB') and calling on the help of the bats to rescue him and then the fight scenes later on.
4. The climax in both where someone who calls himself The Joker has caused some trouble and Commissioner Gordon summons the help of The Batman.
I don't recall any similarities between 'Year One' and 'Batman(1989)' which anyway was just only the first movie version of
Batman made under the supervision of Bob Kane and not Frank Miller.
Also BB had major similarities with 'The Man Who Falls'.
The big difference between Nolan's Batman and the previous movie versions was that Nolan based him on a 'WHAT IF BATMAN
COULD EXIST IN A REAL WORLD' type of environment: just like the Frank Miller's Batman in 'Year One'or any other Frank Miller Batman. While the 1989, 1992, 1995 movie versions were NOT. They just explored The Batman just the way any other superhero could have been: OF the children, FOR the children. Miller's and Nolan's Batman were never meant for the children. BB and TDK are not meant for children to watch.
To me, Tim Burton's Batman was "darker" and far more entertaining. I fell asleep in Batman The Dark Knight....
hahaha...Cracked has a crush on Bale...hahaha, i mean Mr. Pinkerton does..
Well aside from that, BatBale is unarguably the best; his costume made sense; its dark, scary and made-to-kick-ass function, his portrayal made sense; a true playboy and a scary boogeyman when costumed, his voice though some evidently do understand made sense, since many have already pointed out people are not as stupid as the comics made you to believe, heck technology isn't stupid too, so changing his voice was a smart move so to speak and the unorthodox redesign of the batmobile was nice. Plus if any of you remembered, when the batmobile was destroyed in TDK, all he was using was the bat.. or was it knightcycle, anyway, he lost his car, so maybe in the next sequel he's going to have a new one replaced making more sense since his tech evolves as his necessity does...remember he changed his armor specs???
This was the first article I read on Cracked and honestly, I still almost pee every time I read it, it's that goddamn hilarious.
Bale is by far the best. I was honestly never a Heath Ledger fan before he died, although I was deeply saddened by it. His Joker was absolutely amazing and was exactly what I was looking for in a bad guy: a completely crazy bastard who doesn't care about anything and just wants to go out taking as many innocent people as possible. He crushed it and any bad guy after him is going to suck, especially if there's another Spider Man movie... yeesh.
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No no no no, Adam West motherucker, f**k all those other s**t pancakes, did Chistian Bale ever use shark- repellant. No he did not.