3YOU HAVE A SIDEKICK, BUT NOT THE GOOD KIND
Warning Sign: Look behind you right now. We need you to check something. Is there a little person back there, hunched over for fear that you'll strike him furiously again? If so, that's either your henchman and you're a villain in an action movie, or it's your daughter and you're Alec Baldwin.
Your Chances: That depends. Can you find any reasonable justification for why this person would knowingly ally himself with you, despite the fact that you routinely throw employees who disappoint you (letting someone escape, not checking for a dead body, letting your latte get cold) from tall buildings?
No? Then we hate to break it to you, but you're probably the star of this summer's biggest blockbuster. And yes, that means Bruce Willis is about to drive a car right the fuck into your helicopter:
[subtitle]2YOU HAVE GEORGE CLOONEY'S STYLE... BUT TED BUNDY'S HEART[/subtitle]
Warning Sign: No matter how sharp your sense of dress is, how badass your new sports car is or how hi-tech your surveillance center is, all of your ill-gotten funds can't buy you love. Pushing European sex kitten after European sex kitten out of bed after they ride you while apathetically smoking a cigar with your hands behind your head is a bad sign. Laughing while they run out of the room after you put your cigar out on their bare flesh, doubly so.
Your Chances: It comes down to bowties. If you're wearing a black bowtie, just shoot yourself now.
1IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE WINNING
Warning Sign: After multiple setbacks it honestly, truly seems like you're going to win. Really this time. There's no way he'll get out of this one; it's a done deal. The world is yours, or the money, or whatever. The thing's gone off. It's too la...
Noooooo. You could've sworn he was dead. Curses! He was immune to the spider venom! The guards you hired must have gotten sleepy, and he karate-chopped them in the neck. The system was infiltrated at the last second because he figured out that your password was "Ferris," after the guy who used to beat you up in elementary school but who you ironically had a quasi-gay crush on.
Your Chances: Yeah, you're done. Your only hope now is to narrowly escape, and even then you're just going to have to go through all this bullshit again for the sequel. Damn you, Bruce Willis/Harrison Ford/Steven Seagal!