15 Rita Rudner Jokes for the Hall of Fame

‘I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.’

Authors
By
Published
Comments
Comments 1

23 Killer Quotes From Surprising Sources

By:
23 Killer Quotes From Surprising Sources

Having the right thing to say at the right time is one of life’s greatest skills and its biggest mysteries. How do some people come up with the perfect line at the perfect time? This ability doesn’t seem to be restricted to the best among us: Indeed, a few of history's most despicable figures have uttered some incredibly inspirational things. 

This collection of quotes will motivate you with whatever you're working on. Some originate from the most terrible people in history, while others are just from some remarkable celebs. They're here to make you realize: just because someone may be called a dunce in certain contexts, or may have done bad things–they can still drop some awesome lines.

Don’t be surprised if some of the sources of these quotes shock or surprise you and if you uncover any nuggets of motivation to change the way you perceive the world.

There will always be kickass quotes throughout the annals of time. Terrifying men and women produce words that encourage others to do great things or strike terror in the hearts of others.

However, some of the most inspiring words come from the most unlikely sources. No one would be able to tell the difference between these and a photograph of Teddy Roosevelt, a cartoon fish or a book by Sun Tzu.

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Aside from our photoplasties ($100 per contest), we are paying out 10 winners for our macro contests. And YES, you can win all 10 spots ($350 payout) if you've got the skills to blow our minds that many times.

Forgot Password?