There's a lot of reasons we wouldn't want to live in fictional universes. Everyone dies violently in Westeros. In Wreck-It Ralph, your existence could be snuffed out by the pull of a plug. If Superman's on your planet, just ... Superman's bad news. But we'd put up with all that hassle if it meant we could have some of these perks.

Get reborn in a sitcom, and you'll never knock on doors again. You can simply turn the knob and walk right in, because the door will always be ready f

A typical breakfast on TV beats anything you'll ever eat. Expect a giant fruit platter, freshly squeezed juice, and a mountain of homemade pancakes. I

Unsure when to clap? In, movies, just follow the leader. Attendees follow a fixed protocol that saves everyone from individual responses. Everyone wai

Kitchens are crowded and busy. But not in movies. Run to a real restaurant kitchen, and a waiter will block you and question what you're doing. In a m

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When you return home from out, you shed your shoes. Not SO on TV. A character will come home and go right to chilling on their bed in combat boots. Th

Has a character ever had to wait hours in the airport? Not because the plot says someone needs to catch up with them, but just because there's bad wea

Ever struggle to find a cab? Movie people never do. Step out of any building in a movie, and boom, a cab will be right there. Try that anywhere in the

How would you get from a roof down to the street? Probably take stairs to get back inside and then take more stairs or an elevator the rest of the way

Before Sex, you need a quick talk about birth control. In movies, you'll likely never hear characters mention condoms or the pill, unless the movie's

Movie characters are free from the burden of irrelevant TV. NEWS BREAKING NEWS FLASH CRISIS WORSENS A character phones another and says, Go see what'

Don't like finishing meals? In movies, you never have to. In a movie, you'll stand up in the middle of a meal and leave with your food unfinished or u

In movies, vast spaces separate every lane and vehicle. In real life, if you try leaving three cars' worth of room between yourself and the car in fro

Makeup rarely runs in movies, or smears, or rubs off. It remains in place even if you've been crying, or swimming, or if there's blood and dust all ov

Real-life muscles demand daily training. But look at any guy in a movie, and you'll swear the default male physique involves bulging pecs. Every guy i

In real life, we stumble and pause when talking. But actors learn lines and deliver them effortlessly, even though that's not how real people talk. Th

When you leave the house, you have to lock up. Not SO movie characters, who immediately speed off. Same deal when they leave their cars. We have no ch

Heroes never need to worry about stray bullets. In real-life firefights (and we don't just mean shootings where the attacker targets the public), civi

TV characters get sick, and grab tissues. But you know what you'll never see? A great big booger, just hanging loose out of one character's nostril. O

Ever stopped before a door, unsure whether to push or pull? Or make the wrong choice, feel dumb for a moment, then try again? Don't feel stupid. This

Every time a character turns on their car radio, a song starts. Try that yourself. You'll get a DJ or an ad. If you lived in a movie, you'd be blessed

TV rain means getting close under an umbrella. When rain's heavy enough for YOU to break out the umbrella, expect wind to yank that umbrella around or
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