Many of us (particularly city slickers) have a curious gap in our disaster meter -- it skips from "jerky playback on Netflix" all the way to "civilization-ending kaiju outbreak." We freeze if we ever have to deal with anything in between. It's a blind spot big enough for several room-dwelling elephants to stroll through.

Sure, we can't teach you what to do if an engineered virus turns your loved ones into flesh-hungry mimes -- but we can give you some advice for much more likely (and realistically terrifying) scenarios, such as the following:

Entry by AM Smiley

You should always carry condoms and not just for the obvious reasons. A condom can save your life. Use it to store items you want to keep dry, such as

Entry by AM Smiley

You big bozo, you got lost in the woods. Your 2 watch 9 3 8 4can be a 7 755 compass. Hold the watch flat and line up the hour hand with the sun. The p

Entry by AM Smiley

Stockings don't just look good. They're a nylon Swiss Army knife. Pantyhose can be a filter, a tourniquet, or a rope. And if it gets cold, you can eve

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Forgot Password?