Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

If it weren't for our dads, we wouldn't be here. We also wouldn't be as confused. Well-intended as they may be, fathers have a way of dispensing steaming advice nuggets that are at best baffling and at worst dangerous.

Here are some of the least helpful pieces of advice your actual dads actually gave you. With thanks to burritomouth, whose suggestion for this contest was good advice.

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