15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/26)

Finding the truth in the news is like following a map to buried treasure, if the "buried treasure" was actually two moldy cookies and one non-moldy one that's half-eaten.
But luckily for you, our readers have taken this week's popular headlines and stripped them of all the bullshit so you can quickly digest all the important stuff, and spend that extra time going to the store and buying delicious, clean, not-eaten cookies.
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