If Celebrities Got the Fan Mail They Deserved

Having lots of money affords you a ton of things the common unwashed will never get: Solid gold toilets, caviar cereal, and a posse of Yes Men. And because of that last one, famous people end up saying and doing a lot of shit that they probably shouldn't.

With that in mind, we turned to those common unwashed that are our readership and asked them: If you could say one thing to a celebrity, what would it be? We gave money for the best response, but first the runners-up ...