Remember all that cool shit your child-self wanted to do when they grew up? And then you grew up and made that child cry because it turns out jetpack stunt biking isn't a career or even really a thing? Well, you're not alone -- we're here to help you wipe the tears away for your child-self.

Because at least in this Internet age we can at least infuse some form of excitement into our otherwise mundane career choices. We asked our readers to do just that. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

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