The 30 Most Inappropriate Children's Books Possible
One has to be delicate when writing a children's book. One wrong word or phrase can take the entire moral you're trying to put across. Which is why it's probably good these pages probably got left on the cutting room floor.
![The 30 Most Inappropriate Children's Books Possible](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/9/7/4/359974.jpg?v=1)
One has to be delicate when writing a children's book. One wrong word or phrase can take the entire moral you're trying to put across. Which is why it's probably good these pages probably got left on the cutting room floor.
Our readers go back and show us the horrific and twisted consequences of what could have been in our childhood stories. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...
![Oh dear, said the tree, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. Please put your pants back on. And the boy did. Eventually. And the tree was happy.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/1/0/0/359100.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDcO Hey Sweet Heart, I think you just made my 2X4 turn Lets play house, into a 4X8! you can be a door and I'll slam you all night long!! II! tuy](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/6/4/359064.jpg?v=1)
![And so, the Rainbow Fish gave one shimmering scale to each of his friends. Now all of the fish were shiny and bright and beautiful. Unfortunately, thi](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/7/0/359070.jpg?v=1)
![There's a game I play That Thing One and Two love. They lie down and look up While I crumpf from above! LHIG CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/5/0/359050.jpg?v=1)
![The 30 Most Inappropriate Children's Books Possible](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/9/8/359098.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDG CON The toy clown jumped aboard and all the dolls and the toy animals began to smile and cheer. Let's not start sucking each other's dicks j](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/9/4/359094.jpg?v=1)
![POLIC No officer, I have never seen her before in my life. I just woke up and she was cuddling me. Then she told me that she loved me forever, robbed](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/8/6/359086.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKED CONT i CALL UPoN THe POWER OF THE DARK LORD To HoLd THis Book GLOSED! Ash nazg durbafuluk, ash nazg gimbaful, ash nazg thrakafulak, agh burzum](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/8/8/359088.jpg?v=1)
![Goodnight stars Goodnight lamp Goodnight sheets CRACKED ALl yellow and damp](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/7/6/359076.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDCON Sutnr Kama This is fantastic rocking horse, said the man.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/7/4/359074.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDCON con A dog orgy! A big dog orgy! Big dogs, little dogs, red dogs, blue dogs, yellow dogs, green dogs, black dogs, and white dogs all at dog](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/7/2/359072.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDCONF CANH On Christ night. the Grinch returned home. where he fell to the ground and died all alone. For his heart was enlarged-- two sizes at](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/6/8/359068.jpg?v=1)
![HOhis CRACKEDcO](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/6/0/359060.jpg?v=1)
![...and Froggy managed to follow directions, sit still, and not fuck anything up for once in his miserable, goddamn life. This ending doesn't work. If](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/5/8/359058.jpg?v=1)
![All my friends are dead. And you' re next. CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/5/6/359056.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKED CON However, tradition is very important in Spain, and a bull fight cannot end without bloodshed, so the Banderilleros, Picadores, and the Mat](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/4/4/359044.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDG COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/4/8/359048.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKED COM N3](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/4/0/359040.jpg?v=1)
![CRAGKED e found herself most interested in confounded by the strange ice from which the creature drew oke at will, without fire. quizzical the contrap](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/3/8/359038.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDCON And did not like it. we Not one little bit. A](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/3/6/359036.jpg?v=1)
![ROCKS ROCkS 7 2 Pete will play ball with the other girls and boys, but in order for Pete to compete, Pete needs the 'roids. CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/3/4/359034.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDCO Goodnight Mr Peeper Goodnight Grim Reaper](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/3/0/359030.jpg?v=1)
![Yikes, Clifford! Said Emily Elizabeth. I'm going to need a bigger plastic sack!](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/2/4/359024.jpg?v=1)
![CRAGKEDO Would you eat them out of a commode? Would you eat them a la mode?](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/1/8/359018.jpg?v=1)
![Chester loved his Kissing Hand. Now he knew his mother's love would go with him wherever he went. Even to the restroom. CRACKEDOON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/1/6/359016.jpg?v=1)
![The went to his mother. son He picked her and rocked her up back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song: I'll love you forev](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/1/2/359012.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKEDCON Then one day you'll die, nothing gold's meant for staying. Things you've done and choices made, could find you where Satan's band's always](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/1/0/359010.jpg?v=1)
![The Milkman Look, Jane, look, said Dick. But where is the milk? said Jane. Get lost, said the Milkman. CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/2/6/359026.jpg?v=1)
![Paul can stroke Now YOU the cock. 00O stroke the cock. CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/1/4/359014.jpg?v=1)
![THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR GRACKED.CON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/0/9/6/359096.jpg?v=1)