I Made Arnold Fart On Penelope Ann Miller
I can do Arnold's voice. I never had to as part of the job -- it was purely for fun, a product of hanging around the guy for 15 years, working out in the same gym with him every day. At this hotel in Chicago where we stayed while filming Red Heat, I called down to the front desk, all "Yah, this is Ahnold here. I'm in Peter Kent's room. Can I get the steak and the lahbster and eeh couple glasses of wine, and send them up here ... ooh, and the cheesecake."
When we checked out, he was like, "Gawdammit, why do I have all these charges over here. All this food, I never ordered this food."
The front desk lady said, "Well, yes you did, sir. You said send it up to Mr. Kent's room."
And then Arnold looked at me and said, "I'll KILL you, you bastard!"
But I paid him back. I often made the guy spaghetti when I visited his house, where we'd look at scripts together. We'd hang out on the grass. Then choppers would arrive, paparazzi leaning out. And Arnold would be like, "Get down. We have to go inside. They want to nab photos of me in my bathing suit!"
When we were working on Kindergarten Cop, he was playing opposite Penelope Ann Miller -- a bit of a pain to deal with. It was her first real movie, but she was ordering people around, especially the stunt guys. So, knowing the two had a scene together in a small confined space for a long time, I ... made some spaghetti sauce for Arnold. I juiced up broccoli, and Brussels sprouts, and cauliflower, and anything else that gives you gas, and I poured it into the sauce, and gave it to him for lunch. When they did lines, he began farting uncontrollably.
Penelope complained to the director, saying, "I can't work with this. It's horrific, and it stinks, and he just won't stop." Arnold came up to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and said, "Peter, Peter, oh no. What have you done to me?!"
Somehow, that wasn't the end of my career. This was ...
The Accident That Ended My Career
We used to have a saying: "If you're not holding your guts in your hand at the end of the day, you've got nothing to complain about."
That may sound a bit extreme, but you know, it's something you buy into when you first start. You know you're going to get a broken bone or two, some scrapes and cuts, plenty of bruises, that all goes with the territory. We've seen a few high-profile stunt people die this summer, but that's not a new trend. It's the nature of the beast. Performing is definitely safer than it's ever been, but Murphy's Law still kicks in.