"There is a specific system in place to catch any bad parts, but that system isn't perfect. When I'm done with my order (an average of 100 parts), they get cleaned and then sent to an inspector. This inspector does a lot check, which means they pick out about 20 parts out of 100 and only check them." We aren't mathematicians or anything, but that still leaves approximately too damn many potentially faulty engine parts in the mix.
Lisa continues (to scare the crap out of us): "If they find a mistake, they have to 100 percent check all the other parts in your order." There's always the possibility that someone fucks up and the parts get passed, either because of an honest mistake or an inspector wanted to go home early and catch that Lost rerun.
Season 3, episode 1.
"Recently, I had a dimension that was ridiculously hard to check, and the inspector and I kept measuring it close but still couldn't confirm it. Eventually, the inspector got so frustrated trying to check it that she just up and called it good. I immediately stopped the process at that point, but mistakes like that have been known to happen."
The People Being Hired To Make Airplane Parts Don't Necessarily Need To Be Qualified
Matt Porteous/Taxi/Getty Images
It takes a lot to work at a jet engine manufacturing plant: patience, attention to detail, the ability to deal with the mind-bending stress without becoming an alcoholic. You'll notice that we didn't mention anything about advanced certifications or a college degree. Lisa explains why:
"I had no machining experience before applying, and math and science were my worst subjects in school. That didn't matter, though, because the only job requirement is a high school diploma or equivalent. New inspectors that aren't sure how to measure something might just say that it's OK because they don't want to look like they don't know what they are doing. I will ask them, 'OK, but did you check this?' and they will blatantly lie to my face because they are lazy. Luckily, we get rid of them pretty quick, but the people with seniority that mess around, they don't get the boot because we are desperate for bodies running machines."
"He, uh, gave me this instead of a resume."
But, still, inexperience can be forgiven, right? Who hasn't had a nervous first few weeks at a new job? Wait, no, it absolutely cannot be forgiven when your job is defying nature to keep planes flying. But it's not as bad as straight-up incompetence.
"I've seen people fall asleep on the job while their machine is running," Lisa says. "Plus, people fail their welding re-certification tests all the time. You have to send in pieces of your welding work to be examined, and if they fail, you have to think that person made bad parts before."
Caiaimage/Rafal Rodzoch/Caiaimage/Getty Images
"Nah, I was just drunk that day. No need to worry."
So ... does anyone know if Amtrak gives you discounts on bulk ticket purchases? We suddenly feel like making them a very rich company.
Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact him at email@example.com.
Psst ... want to give us feedback on the super-secret beta launch of the upcoming Cracked spinoff site, Braindrop? Well, simply follow us behind this curtain. Or, you know, click here: Braindrop.
For more insider perspectives, check out 5 Reasons Flying a Fighter Jet Is Way Crazier Than 'Top Gun' and Fast & Furious Is Full Of It: 5 Racecar Driver Realities.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Why The 'Firefly' Crew Were The Bad Guys, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook, because we want to follow you everywhere.
Did you know cats modeled their "meow" after the cries of human babies, just because they knew us humans care about that noise? Did you know dogs can read your mind (emotionally), and live in constant suspicion that you know where the good food is (you totally do)? In the next LIVE episode of the Cracked Podcast, host Jack O'Brien leads Cracked's team of pet-loving/fearing comedians through all the ways our dogs and cats are more powerful, creepy, and awesome than we ever could have imagined. Jack will be joined by Carmen Angelica, Dan O'Brien, Alex Schmidt, and Jake Weisman at the UCB Sunset Theatre on Wednesday, March 9, at 7 p.m. Purchase your tickets here!
Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here.