The Holy Land has plenty of space for everybody. The whole Middle East situation does not boil down to "not enough condos." It isn't a question of land scarcity.
"There's plenty of room for both Jews and Arabs to live in a hippie's wet dream, but both sides refuse to acknowledge this. If you believe that the land you stand on was given to you and your friends by God directly, you're likely to have a problem with sharing it. Thus, the radical ideology of both sides involves the systematic extermination of the other.
Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images News/Getty Images
"Our people have already had a long relationship with the whole racial extermination thing by now."
"Combine that with their belief that the other guys are planning to do the same to them, and that's why they need to kill them, and the impossibility of stopping teenagers from terrorizing each other, and you have a recipe for eternal war. After all, neither side actually has the balls to go through with their plan -- it's not that easy to exterminate everybody around you when all the villages, towns, and cities are so decentralized and intertwined."
We'd love to end this article on a hopeful note -- Jews and Muslims suddenly realize that they both love sandwiches and sunshine, so everybody goes off together to have a nice picnic -- but nobody has any illusions that this is going to end sometime soon:
"Israel will also never unilaterally withdraw, as was done with Gaza, for several reasons. First, the unilateral withdrawal from Gaza in 2005 did not work. There is no peace between Gaza and Israel. ... Second, the pre-1967 borders are totally indefensible, as has been acknowledged by just about every military analyst.
"Third, assuming these problems were overcome, the logistical nightmare of relocating half a million people would be unsolvable -- Gaza was evacuated in 2005, and of the 9,000 people relocated, some still don't have homes yet. But the biggest reason is that even if the army is pulled out, the settlers will never leave."
Barring some sort of alien invasion that unites us all in hatred against a new set of enemies, don't expect change to come to the West Bank anytime soon. So uh ... who's our real world equivalent of Ozymandias? Elon Musk? Get to work on the giant squid already, Muskman.
Robert Evans tweets on his twitter and you can follow him here.
For more insider perspectives, check out 6 Insane Things You Learn Overthrowing Your Own Government and 5 Ways Growing Up in North Korea Is Crazier Than You Think.
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