It was a harder secret to keep from my friends, because they were smoking the stuff with me. They'd ask, "Who do you get your weed from? This is incredible," to which I'd respond: "I can't say, but I can get you some."
It's a suspicious answer, but when you're hooking your teenage friends up with spectacular weed, they aren't too eager to suddenly transform into investigative journalists. That said, it became harder and harder to cover up -- there were some days when I'd be getting home from school, with friends on their way over, only to discover that the living room was full of Hefty garbage bags overflowing with weed. I'd have to run out into the front yard and try to catch my friends before they got too close to the house and offer up a last-minute change of plans, such as "Hey, let's go skateboarding!" or "Three burglars broke in and shit on the carpet, let's hang out somewhere else." Eventually I just stopped having friends over.
To be clear, I wasn't invited to sit in on my dad's corporate planning sessions or anything -- I just had to lie about the occasional living room full of weed. Otherwise, it was the life of a normal middle-class kid in California, until the cops came down on us. We never saw it coming. The night before the bust, I was staying at my buddy Mike's house. I called my house the next morning, around 8 o'clock, to check in with my dad, and some random person answered the phone and asked me who I was.
"Well this is Andy; where's my dad?"
"Well, uh, I'm a friend of your dad's ..."
I knew my dad's friends, and I also knew that some sketchy rando picking up my drug-dealing father's phone was a definite warning sign that I probably shouldn't give this guy my current whereabouts. So I told him, "Bullshit. Put my dad on or I'm hanging up." In response, the guy said, "Let me get my supervisor." He actually said that, to me, while answering my dad's phone in our house. The supervisor told me, "Son, I'm so-and-so with the DEA. We have your dad in custody, and you need to come home."
Gunay Mutlu/Vetta/Getty Images