You Give Birth With Strangers In The Room
Most parents will want to be present when the child or children are born, which is understandable, but for the surrogate it means there are essentially strangers hanging out in the room with your vagina on display the whole time. I had only ever even seen the dad twice before -- when we first met and at the embryo transfer, so it was our first time meeting in, like, 10 months and only our third time ever. Normally, they have to buy me dinner if they want to see my crotch at that point.
Preferably nothing with goddamn berries and nuts.
It was awkward at first, but it got better. We started watching TV, daytime soap operas and stuff like that. That helped a little, watching drama that was not ours, but it got a little more tense later when we were talking about who would go with me if I had to have a C-section. I said I just wanted my support person there, but, in my state, we're only allowed to have one person in the room. The mom said, "You don't want me there when my children are born?" and I was like, "They're going to bring them to you right away, and you're not going to be there afterward supporting me, and I don't want to be there by myself."
It was really heated until the husband went out to talk to the wife and they came back and said they understood and apologized. Luckily, it didn't even end up being a problem -- the whole thing went as smooth as a process that ends with two people sliding out of me possibly could.
Dirk Ott/iStock/Getty Images
My screams fill their dreams. And they find it hilarious.
Even with all this weird conflict and mountains of paperwork, I have no regrets about my decision. After all, I'm carrying someone else's baby again right now. Unless I've come down with Mommy Brain and misremembered the whole thing, in which case I've made a huge mistake.
For more insider perspectives, check out 6 Insane Things You Learn When Your College Goes Bankrupt and 7 Things You Learn As A Straight Guy Who's A Crossdresser.
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