You might have heard that the U.S. has a major organ shortage; there simply aren't enough healthy organs for all the people who need new lungs, livers, hearts, brains, courage, etc. But as bad as it is to need a heart, things are far worse if you need a new kidney. Of the 122,000 people currently on the organ donor list in the U.S., 100,000 are awaiting a kidney -- that's 82 percent. This is because the disorders that damage other organs to the point of needing a transplant are relatively rare, whereas diseases that obliterate your kidneys are depressingly common. About 67 million Americans have high blood pressure, and nearly 20 million have diabetes -- together, these two conditions cause 70 percent of all chronic kidney disease cases, which is arguably the worst tag team in history outside of the time the Joker teamed up with the Taliban.
Luckily, since you only need one kidney to live, you have the option of using a live donor for your new pee filter. Unluckily, many of the diseases that damage your kidneys are genetic, which tends to eliminate family members, who are the most likely to be genetically compatible. Friends can donate as well, but they're usually not the preferred choice (more on that in a minute). Amazingly, there are some people who choose to donate one of their kidneys to a complete stranger for no other reason than just because (some states even offer a tax deduction for donating an organ).
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"We're really doing you a favor. After all, we don't tax your organs ... wait. PEGGY! CALL CONGRESS!"