4

You Might Have to Stab Somebody With a Ballpoint Pen

Sergiy Parkhomenko/iStock/Getty Images

Even in a war zone, most countries frown on journalists who would whip out a gun and start mowing down dudes in the middle of an interview (even if this would immediately get everyone to start watching CNN again). So reporters like Pelton aren't allowed to carry weapons, but there's also not really anyone they can call for help if they get waylaid. So how is the war-zone traveler to defend himself?

"You need to use common objects, [like] a screwdriver or a kitchen knife -- everyday items that can protect you. I carry a Montblanc refill, the cheap refill for the very expensive pen sold in duty free airport stores ...

Montblanc
The smooth inkflow is nice, but the real test of a pen is whether it can puncture a breastbone.

"You can also adapt beautiful steel pens; they can be very handy and very lethal. I've jabbed assailants with things that broke their chain of attention and let me get out of a bad situation. ... A pen jabbed sharply in the armpit or chin can cause a lot of pain and shock. So much pain that the attacker's original plan changes. It's more painful to be stabbed with a pen than a knife -- a sharp object will cut you and you won't notice it immediately. Something dull and pointy creates a lot of shock. And if the cops show up, you didn't use a knife or a gun."

In Colombia trolling for FARC Rebels
(Robert Young Pelton)

Though they tend to recognize the "Rollin' with my Bic" face.

3

Rebels and Terrorists Want to Talk ... but on Their Terms

Robert Young Pelton/Vice

The good news is, if you're writing for a large publication (or have a hit Youtube channel), there are all kinds of warlords and rebels hungry for the publicity you can bring.

2

Be a People Person ... or Else

Via Robert Young Pelton

What do you take to work in a war zone? "Piles of body armor" would be our first guess, but your real protection comes in the form of everyday gadgets you can grab off the shelf at Best Buy. Not so you can modify them into booby traps, but so you can dole them out as gifts.

"It pays to be friends with the people watching your butt. I always wear a cheap watch, so I have things I give to my guide who watches my back ... an old iPod, cheap $100 video cameras -- things that are immensely valuable to someone in an undeveloped country. If they want to be a journalist, that camera can be a major investment."

With U.S. Special Forces team in Mazar I Sharif, Afghanistan
(Robert Young Pelton)

Although, yes, body armor is also a good idea.

Giving away cell phones doesn't have to be as expensive as you're imagining -- and it can pay off, too. Locals can send you the information they gather (meaning less danger for you) and the wonders of Alibaba.com mean a world of cheap, off-brand gadgets are just a mouse-click away. "You can buy these Chinese iPhone knockoffs for next to nothing. They look the same, these guys don't tell the difference. I keep my expensive stuff buried in the cheap stuff."

View Stock/View Stock/Getty Images
It's amazing the palms you can grease with an empty decanter, some MD 20/20, and a funnel.

1

Yes, That Means Befriending the Bad Guys

Robert Young Pelton

If you're working in, say, Afghanistan, you might think "people who are friendly with the Taliban" would be a group to avoid. According to Pelton, they can be valuable allies:

"You need to be with someone who knows the higher-ups. When I was in Afghanistan looking for bin Laden, I went through Taliban checkpoints because my driver was Taliban. [He was] someone selected by the man I was supposed to stay with. The man that I was staying with was a friend of Mullah Omar's, the Taliban commander. But yet he was also a friend of an Afghan who recommended me. You gotta remember everyone is connected by family and can have multiple affiliations."

with Muj in Afghanistan 1996
(Robert Young Pelton)

Kinda like the "Six Degrees" game, but with ideological regimes instead of Kevin Bacon.

It sounds crazy, but when you think about it, the only real way to guarantee your safety in a situation like that is to make sure it's in the Taliban's best interest to see you return home alive. "Even though he knew I was looking for his former boss (he had worked with bin Laden in the '80s), he was happy to host me to explain that the Americans were bombing innocent civilians. So his self-interest won out."

And yes, having that sort of cordial interaction with the bogeymen on the news gives you a different perspective.

"I first met the Taliban in the mid-90s, when they were attacking Kabul. And the Taliban were fairly normal people then. Rural Pashtuns who lived as refugees in Pakistan. They wanted the warlords out of Afghanistan and respected America. There was even a female Taliban surgeon who refused to wear the burka. A lot of what you read about the Taliban comes from the perspective of journalists embedded with their enemies. You can count the number of journalists who've spent a significant amount of time with the Taliban on one hand. So perspective can be skewed.

Robert Young Pelton
There's more than a little cognitive dissonance when the guys you were half expecting to kill you just want to gab about sports.

"Today the Taliban are far more violent extremists, because the old Taliban are basically gone. The people who followed Omar wanted to get out of Pakistan, but there are splinter groups that are very violent -- more like ISIS and groups like that. The point is though, the Taliban, like all jihadi and insurgent groups, aren't monolithic. There are the crazies, and there are the people you can work with."

And until you figure out who's who, we guess you just have to keep that pen handy.

You can read Robert Young Pelton's latest work "Finding Bergdahl" here, and you can watch his documentary Saving South Sudan right here. You can also check out his online magazine and gear shop.

Austin 'Austin' Bodetti, the last Austin in the world, is the handsomest student at Boston College according to his 2.5 stalkers. Email him at bodetti@bc.edu to join his email list about Islamic warzones, Lost with Austin (LAUSTIN).

For more insider perspectives, check out 6 Things I Learned About Humanity Living Through a Genocide and 5 Nightmares You Live Working for America's Worst Company.

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