For the benefit of those wankerati and the just plain curious, I figured I'd check out some of the anti-jiggletime suggestions and try them out myself.
In order to evaluate the awesomeness of a monkey helper, I did the only rational thing -- I acquired a helper monkey. Which is to say I sent an email and was told no, I cannot have a helper monkey because look how not disabled I am.
We've carved out a few niche situations in life when not only do we find it acceptable to lie, we've pretty much all agreed it's expected and even better to lie, because the truth is just going to let everyone down.
While a Snuggie is just a stupid invention, there's a whole different layer, a subculture, if you will, of products that bring shame not just to the people who made them or may use them, but to reality as a whole.
Just FYI: I know one of you, and it's just one, eats bacon-wrapped bacon every day, has sex with supermodels, and gets paid to play video games, and this article means nothing to you aside from my hilarious jokes, and that's OK. No need to comment.
According to a dozen videos I watched in high school, peer pressure will/did ruin my life and made me butt chug heroin-laced vodka and snort all the marijuanas ever. I typed this article from my hospital bed. All teenagers are the devil.
Godzilla vs. Mothra, Freddy vs. Jason, D Cup Debbie vs. The Dildonic Duo ... they're all classics. But there are plenty of other versus films we've never had a chance to see, and that's sad.
I decided to try out a few classic revenge pranks on others and see not only which were most effective, but which filled me with the greatest sense of justice and well-being afterward.
These fakers like to pretend to be doctors and will make you as uncomfortable as a real doctor but with the added threat of not knowing their asses from grape jelly.
There are those people who have been elevated to a position of authority, rightly or wrongly, who use their power and influence to spread their wrongheaded beliefs, not just to the benefit of ignorance, but to the dangerous detriment of those who believe them.
