12 Corporate Mascots That Exist For Reasons We Can't Fathom

12 Corporate Mascots That Exist For Reasons We Can't Fathom

Welcome to the strange and wonderful world of corporate mascots! For years, companies have been using mascots to promote their products and services, and the results have been, well, interesting. From Mr. Clean's hot new look to Baby Nut's incredible growth spurt, these 12 corporate mascots exist for reasons we can't fathom. 

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

We'll take you on a tour of these bizarre creations, from Pipo-kun, the police mascot in Tokyo, to Senhor Testiculo, the scrotum-shaped mascot for testicular cancer awareness in Brazil. We'll also explore the more traditional mascots, like Speedy the Geoduck from Evergreen and Katakkuri-chan from Japan's Asahikawa Prison.  From Baby Nut, the infant that aged in a matter of months, to Mr. Clean, the hunky bald guy that made us all swoon, these mascots are sometimes stupendously ridiculous.

So, buckle up and prepare to be amazed, confused, and maybe even slightly disturbed. These 12 corporate mascots exist for reasons we can't fathom, but we can sure have a lot of fun trying to figure them out.

Mr. Clean: Hot, bald, and flirty.

CRACKED MR. CLEAN Mr. Clean got a hot new look for the Super Bowl in 2017. Не had a bald head, tight pants, and a flirty attitude, though really, he had always been pretty sexy ... but why? Do we have to be horny for imaginary men who clean our drains?


Testicular cancer awareness: meet Senhor Testiculo.

CRACKED - Obe gladi YOUR Premium ASSOCIATION OF PERSONAL ASSISTANCE FOR CANCER'S SENHOR TESTICULO Senhor Testiculo, also known as Mr. Balls, is a mascot shaped like a giant, hairy scrotum that is sponsored by a Brazilian organization that works to support cancer research. Just the right note of seriousness and dignity to strike, obviously.

NY Daily News 

Police: now cuddly and approachable.

CRACKED TOKYO POLICE'S PIPO-KUN In 1987, Tokyo's police created a mascot, Pipo-kun, to make their organization seem more friendly and approachable. The goal was to show that even though they are responsible for enforcing the law, they can still be seen as warm and cuddly. Sorry, ACAB includes Pipo-kun.


Speedy the Geoduck: not an insect.

CRACKED EVERGREEN STATE COLLEGE'S SPEEDY THE GEODUCK We'll save you some googling: a geoduck is a type of clam. Speedy has been called easily the worst college mascot. Or, you know, very possibly the best.

Evergreen / Youtube  

Zap Gridlock: 15 years and counting.

CRACKED URYL KS m SF 12 SOUND TRANSIT'S ZAP GRIDLOCK Zap Gridlock, the mascot of Sound Transit (the Seattle metro area public transit agency), has been around for 15 years and has been a big part of their outreach. Cool and all, but why does a transit agency need a campy superhero mascot?

Seattle Weekly 

Introducing Mr Poo: Poop-personified.

CRACKED UNICEF'S MR. РОО Unicef has created a mascot called Mr. Poo in India to help spread the word about the health risks of pooping in public. Mr. Poo is a brown, lumpy character that... looks like poo. We do not wish to doubt the wisdom of Unicef's public messaging, but ...


Bye, Polygon Man.

CRACKED PLAYSTATION'S POLYGON MAN Polygon Man was the face of the original PlayStation, but he was too scary and weird-looking. Не had yellow eyes, surrounded by black, jagged purple spikes, and he was just a floating head. So, they decided to get rid of him.


Scroll down for the next article


Forgot Password?