13 Eye-Rolling Sequel Names We Simply Cannot Condone

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13 Eye-Rolling Sequel Names We Simply Cannot Condone

We’re not ones to stifle creativity. We wouldn’t want to just slap the number 2 on a movie title and walk away either. We’d be right there in those meetings, throwing around good, bad, and ugly sequel title ideas. Yes, you’d probably hate 99% of them, but maybe we’d sneak a gem in there. Who are we to judge? A pitch meeting is supposed to be a safe space for all ideas (no matter how dreadful). We do feel bad for calling out the ridiculous ones, but come on… These were the ones they went with? Really?

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Like, Piranha 3DD? What do piranhas and large breasts have in common?! It’s in 3D, so we already got the fun little play on 3D in the title with its predecessor Piranha 3D. Jackass 3D also dropped in 2010 (a fun little trend) so adding that double D for this 2012 installment did actually make it a slightly different title. But it weirdly puts it in the porn title category, and there ain’t nothing sexy about piranhas. Nothing. So here’s that and 12 other untenable, ridiculous, and eye-rolling sequel naming conventions. 

The “fast,” the “furious,” and the just plain “F’d.”

CRACKED WELL, ARE YOU FAST, OR FURIOUS, OR BOTH?! THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS The coolness or corniness of 2 Fast 2 Furious is debatable, but with 10 films to date, they flip flop titles with Fast 5, Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7, then The F8 of The Furious (На! F8, get it?). Then we got simply F9, and Fast X.

Google / Cinema Blend 

Will MaXXXine feature Vin Diesel? Asking for a friend.

GRACKED MAXXXINE CLOSES OUT THE X TRILOGY. MAXXXINE When X's sequel Pearl was released, they announced a 3rd film, titled MaXXXine. The porn-style title makes it seem like a straight up porn, and the XXX in there makes it seem like a XXX sequel with Vin Diesel. We're guessing Vin isn't in this one.

1428 Elm

Put it in cruise control, honey. We’ve got a few hours till the next pit stop.

GRACKED SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL J4 08598 Oh, because they're on a cruise ship this time. We get it. But using cruise control in real life is for nice, low key road trips, and gives zero sense of speed or suspense. Like this movie, since cruise ships are massive and slow!

Variety / Movies Anywhere 

So, wait, do the piranhas have double D’s? Man, we hope not.

GRACKED PIRANHA 3DD TWICE TERROR. THE DOUBLE THE D'S. PIRANHA 3DD In an attempt to bring some sex appeal to a toothy fish movie, they added a second D to the already 3D title. Gotta get those large breasts on the poster too, or you know, it'd make zero sense.

IMDB

Like the failed sitcom Heil Honey I’m Home, we’re good on Nazi titles.

GRACKED BLOODRAYNE: THE THIRD REICH We get that it's a vampire fighting Nazis movie, and a third installment, so what else could you really name it? There's just something inherently wrong with referencing the Third Reich for entertainment value.

Google / The Movie DB 

2 many asses.

GRACKED BAD ASS 2: BAD ASSES If the original is titled Bad Ass, you can just call the sequel Bad Asses! We get it!

IMDB

A new Air Bud football movie could involve a “Pun”ter. Sorry.

GRACKED ALL THE AIR BUD PUNS The Air Bud series is the king of animals-in-sports puns. From Golden Receiver, to World Pup, to Seventh Inning Fetch, it seemed like the priority was the title, and the movies themselves were the afterthoughts.

Wikipedia / LW Lies 

Again, let’s not be too hasty with the word “Last.”

GRACKED THE LAST EXORCISM PART II For this 2013 sequel to 2010's The Last Exorcism, they were like, Okay, this one's the last one. For real this time. Unless it's successful enough to warrant a Part III. To be fair, it's better than The Last Last Exorcism, or The Lastest Exorcism.

IMDB

You have to seriously research which ones which.

GRACKED THE DAWN OF THE RISE OF THE CONQUEST OF THE KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, Battle for the Planet of the Apes, Planet of the Apes (the remake), Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, War For the Planet of the Apes, and Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Great, now our heads hurt.

Movie Web

We’re gonna train, then train some more. Then let the citizens do it for us since we’ll be in Miami and Moscow.

GRACKED THE 7 POLICE ACADEMY MOVIES. The 1985 sequel was called Their First Assignment, but for the 3rd installment, they were Back in Training. All that training amounted to jack, since the 4th was Citizens on Patrol. Later sequels had them venture to Miami and Moscow for some reason.

It's A Stampede / Mental Floss 

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