From Johnny’s admiration for both snakes and bulls to what Chris Pontius really thinks about penises — please enjoy this list of some funny ass sh*t spoken by our favorite funny ass dudes.

Johnny Knoxville sure loves his snakes. And bulls.

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes Snakes are like bulls. They're very cooperative. Johnny Knoxville CRACKED.COM


Everyone knows Steve-O

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes Once, we were filming on some remote island in Borneo, filming with an indigenous tribe. And one of the tribespeople pointed to my arm and said, Off-road tattoo! I can't even hide in Borneo, Indonesia! Steve-0 CRACKED.COM


COVID vs. Jackass

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes Johnny Knoxville on filming Jackass Forever during the pandemic: It's funny to think about having all these safety protocols to go through just so we could do dangerous sh*t. It's like, 'OK, Madisor wear your mask until you get to the alligator pit and take it off and jump in. CRACKED.COM


Sure, Flameboy Steve-O

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes I don't ever care to have skin graft surgery for third degree burns again. Steve-0 on his 2017 stunt that saw him make snow angels using burning jet fuel. CRACKED.COM


Tell us how you really feel, Chris Pontius

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes We realized early on that whatever you do, if you do it naked, it automatically makes it 10 times funnier. Nudity is just funny, and it's way underused for comedy...It's like almost like stripping into a superhero costume...It's like Superman putting on his outfit. Chris Pontius PARTY BOY CRACKED.COM


What's for dinner, Preston?

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes Preston Lacy on that time a pig ate an apple sticking out of his butt: I didn't think people would keep talking about me having (a) weird thing with a pig but they do... they keep talking. CRACKED.COM


Wee Man Magic

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes Wee Man is magic. When he's on the scene, everything is magical. Не can do anything he wants. I'm pretty sure he could kill someone right in front of a cop and the cop would go, 'Oh, cool. Good job, Wee man!''' Dave England CRACKED.COM


Johnny Anaconda

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes I did wear a cup on this one, because I did not want that to happen. My thing has been through enough. Johnny Knoxville, referring to the Anaconda Ball Pit. CRACKED.COM


The least surprising thing

COMEDY NERD Jackass Crew Quotes DO NOT DUMP IN POND The smell. It's horrendous. Dave England on behind-the-scenes Jackass things fans might be surprised to learn. CRACKED.COM


Get More Comedy: Sign up for ComedyNerd

The ComedyNerd newsletter is your weekly look at the world of stand up, sketch, and more. Sign up now!


Forgot Password?