13 Headlines That Tenderized Our Grey Matter Like A High-End Handcrafted Marble Meat Mallet

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13 Headlines That Tenderized Our Grey Matter Like A High-End Handcrafted Marble Meat Mallet

vchal/Shutterstock, dotshock/Shutterstock

Welcome to the weird world: a place where Sheriff Bilal’s pay-raise-for-me-and-my-friends plan backfired, a waitress was fired for spicing up drinks with her own blood, and an Air National Guard member was arrested for mistaking a joke website for a real hitman service.

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The weird world is full of strange and unexpected occurrences, from 19 Montanans thinking they found a natural spring only to discover it was a bacteria-filled creek, to Kid Rock supporting transphobia, one seltzer at a time. We’ve also seen a deputy rewarded for a fatal mistake, Arnold Schwarzenegger digging himself into a hole, and a man dying in jail after being attacked by bugs.

We’ve seen the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints get away with not reporting child sex abuse thanks to the "clergy-penitent privilege" loophole, the Dalai Lama apologize for a comment he made to a boy, and a guy in Oregon throw away $200K in hopes of blessing strangers.

And finally, we’ve seen politicians in Indiana come together to pass a law that stops police officers from telling lies to kids when they are trying to get them to confess. Damn. Anyway, enjoy.

Educational priorities.

SCHOOLS FEAR MANGA WILL TURN KIDS INTO MURDERERS. Schools in Florida and Wisconsin have decided not to allow the manga series Assassination Classroom in their libraries, because they are worried that it might encourage students to kill their teachers. CRACKED

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Sheriff Bilal: Greed over safety.

SHERIFF'S PAY-RAISE- FOR-ME-AND-MY-FRIENDS PLAN BACKFIRED. FOX ... 29 I H PRAIT Sheriff Rochelle Bilal from Philadelphia tried to increase her salary to $285, 000, and used money that was supposed to go toward hiring deputies to give big pay rises to her executive team. Defund the police? CRACKED

Tyger Williams/The Philadelphia Inquirer

The Philadelphia Inquirer

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