15 TV Shows Built Around Babies and Animals That Are Absolute Garbage

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15 TV Shows Built Around Babies and Animals That Are Absolute Garbage

When you look at this list of complete failures, you’ll wonder why so many baby and animal centered shows keep getting made! Clearly, because movies like Look Who’s Talking and Air Bud made fortunes, TV execs thought they could capitalize on that tired-ass trope. In doing so, they disrespected all of us. Sitting up there in their 80th floor corner offices like, “Those mindless slobs will eat this talking baby and/or talking dog bullshit right up!” Well, jokes on you, Network TV!

Our collective TV palette has gotten a lot more refined over the years, so let’s agree to put an end to these baby and animal shows. Okay, TV? You gave us some utter trash-piles in the ‘80s, 90’s, 2000’s, and 2010’s, so don’t let us catch you dipping into this tired old sack again! It’s been done. Move on. But hey, if you still need proof, here are 15 mind-numbingly godawful shows built around babies and animals.

Disney got a whopping 69 episodes out of the ol’ talking dog shtick.

CRACKED DOG WITH A BLOG 2012 - 2015 ENC Like Lassie saving the day? No, no, he just blogs about it. It's another Disney Channel case of Kids better like it, 'cus everyone else hates it. Variety called it strictly low-hanging biscuit fare, because how many butt-sniffing jokes can we handle?

Variety / YouTube 

Even Animal Planet got their filthy paws in the talking dog game.

CRACKED BEWARE OF DOG 2002 Before Animal Planet settled into its light hearted but legitimate animal doc style, they played the field, and had a regrettable one-night stand with the talking dog genre. Jack the dog and the Poole family got 2 episodes back to back before getting put down.

Collider / YouTube 

One animal? Why not make a bad show centered around every animal?!

CRACKED MANIMAL 1983 This show had all the animals. Well, a guy who takes almost 2 minutes to slowly and clunkily morph into any animal that'll help solve the crime. NBC's cheesy MacGyver meets Ace Ventura only lasted 8 episodes.

Youtube / Collider

Didn’t we get enough of Three Men and a Baby in the ‘80s?

CRACKED BABY DADDY 2012 to 2017 How did ABC give this unapologetic Three Men and a Baby rip-off 6 seasons?! Men caring for a baby may have been a wild thought in the '80s, but by the 2010s it was like... Grow up and step up, fellas.

LA Times / Obsev 

Bet your baby?! Ohhh… Bet ON your baby! Still!

CRACKED BET ON YOUR BABY 2013 - 2014 JOSHUA MUST CORRECTLY GUESS THREE OF JAIDYN'S IMPRESSIONS Parents bring their babies (which were all toddlers aged 2 - 3.5) into the Babydome (an in-studio kid's room) to guess the kid's next move for a full scholarship ($50,000 - enough for one year and some books). ABC, you're a trash network of lies.

Kveller / Youtube

Can it be called a “horror comedy” if it isn’t scary or funny?

CRACKED THE BABY 2022 A rare case of HBO being out of touch and off the mark, The Hollywood Reporter said there's no common feminist reading of pregnancy and childcare that creators haven't recycled here, and that the worst thing is that it exists at all. Yeesh.

Hollywood Reporter

Come to Disney for The MCU and revivals no one asked for!

CRACKED TURNER AND HOOCH The 2021 series A revival of the 1989 Tom Hanks movie, the Disney series is a weird blend of Michael Bay-esque action, and guy doesn't want dog, but ends up loving dog sitcom humor. We did get a Reginald VelJohnson cameo as David Sutton. So... There's that.

AV Club / IMDB

Yes, Baby Talk was a complete failure, but this is Baby Bob we’re talking about!

CRACKED BABY BOB 2002 Baby Bob, another talking baby, got his own CBS primetime show after a successful string of FreeInternet.com commercials. That's early 2000s TV for ya. The show's 14 episodes of Wait, that baby can talk? are exactly what you think they'll be.

Michigan Daily / Youtube

Animal Planet crosses the line between showcasing and exploiting animals.

CRACKED TAKING ON TYSON 2011 Remember when Mike Tyson starred in an Animal Planet reality show about competitive pigeon racing?! Mike loves pigeons, but audiences and PETA (clearly) felt that training them for competition was exploitative.

CBS

We’re all on pins and needles, waiting for Disney to green light Season 3!

CRACKED PUP ACADEMY 2018-2020 You guessed it, it's an Air Bud Entertainment production! These pups are trained to keep the bond between humans and dogs alive, and we get every talking dog trope imaginable, all at once, all the time. It's overwhelming.

TV Tropes / Wikipedia / IMDB 

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