40 Frigid Bits of Trivia That, If Consumed Too Quickly, Will Surely Give You Brain Freeze

40 Random Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia We Didn’t Know Were Freaky Like That

40 TV and Movie Tropes You’d Be Hard-Pressed to Experience Out Here in the Real World

These Are the Two Subjects Dave Chappelle Wasn’t Allowed to Talk About When He Hosted ‘SNL’

12 Random Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia Who Popped Up in Your Facebook Newsfeed, But You Can’t for the Life of You Remember How You Know Them

Beyond Cocaine Bear: 15 Badass Real-Life Animals Who Deserve Their Own Movie

Twelve Air Bud movies, but not a single Donkey Hero of WWI biopic?!

Beyond Cocaine Bear: 15 Badass Real-Life Animals Who Deserve Their Own Movie

January 27, 2023

Dear Hollywood, instead of pumping out a 13th installment of Air Bud, we’ve gathered some animals worth celebrating on the big screen. These animals don’t have time to waste shooting hoops, because they’re out there making a difference. Good or bad, they’ve done some wild shit, and we’re here to give the elevator pitch for these legendary biopics. You’re welcome, screenwriters. And hey, if you don’t want them, maybe we’ll join you down at Starbucks and start typing.

We just got sick of sitting back, and letting Homeward Bound get all the glory. Ooh, they found their way home. Big deal. That movie is based on a true story, so maybe those producers just need to hear these pitches. We’ve got slugs who saved thousands of soldiers in WWI by detecting mustard gas. So, from savior slugs to executioner elephants, there’s no shortage of badass animals who deserve their own movie. Here are those and 13 more. Your move, Hollywood.

15

Nora The Kitty Pianist

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Nora the cat copycats her owner's piano playing. THE PITCH: CATATOUILLE In a complete ripoff of Ratatouille, Nora gets better than her owner, pulls strings while in her hat, and WOWS audiences worldwide. — BBC

14

Cockatoos learn to pick locks.

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Trained to pick locks, a cockatoo removed a pin, unscrewed a screw, pulled out a bolt, turned a wheel, and slid a latch for a cashew. THE PITCH: COCKATOO'S 11 This Danny Ocean cockatoo then enlists his ragtag cockatoo squad for the motherload of cashews. — Vox

13

Paul the Octopus predicts the World Cup winner.

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Paul the octopus was 8 out of 8 in his 2010 World Cup predictions (including Spain to win it all.) THE PITCH: GOODTENTACLES In Paul's movie, he makes the mob millions of dollars and becomes the first ever made octopus. — Sport Star

12

Saved by Slugs

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Paul Bartsch discovered that slugs can detect mustard gas, which saved thousands of soldiers. THE PITCH: THE SLUG BRIGADE: SLOW AND STEADY We like to picture a General Patton type slug's impassioned speech to his slug army. — Grunge

11

The Gunga Rao elephant executioners of India.

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: In 18th century India, elephants were trained to stomp, shake, and - with strap on daggers - stab criminals to death. THE PITCH: KILL THE MASTERS! Like Khaleesi with the Unsullied, this movie has elephants turn on the masters and escape to the Indian jungle to live in harmony. — Medium / World Wildlife

10

Jack The Baboon

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Double-leg amputee and railway signalman James Wide trained Jack the baboon to operate railway signals so well, Jack actually became a paid railroad employee. THE PITCH: MAKE WAY FOR JACK THE BABOON ENGINEER. — All That's Interesting

9

Cher Ami the pigeon who stopped at nothing for the cause.

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Carrier pigeon Cher Ami (French for dear friend) was shot in the breast and leg, and still delivered his final message, which saved 194 soldiers. His body is in the Smithsonian, and his sacrifice deserves an epic biopic. THE PITCH: DEAR FRIEND: A PIGEON'S FINAL MESSAGE — Time / France Vacations

8

Crows

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Crows have been known to intentionally bend wire to fish out treats, and researchers say they're as intelligent as 5-7 year old kids. THE PITCH: THE CROW: SAVIOR In this film, a wounded hiker is saved by a crow, who fishes for him until help arrives. — Vox / Perky Pet

7

Vervet Monkeys

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Vervet monkeys were brought to St. Kitts by rum and slave traders 300 years ago, and they constantly steal drinks from tourists. THE PITCH: ANIMAL HOUSE: SPRING BREAK In an Animal House sequel, these literal animals show the frat boys how to boogie down. — YouTube / UNEP

6

Swans

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Asbo is known in the U.K as the meanest swan ever, and terrorizes rowers in the River Cam. THE PITCH: ASBO: AN UGLY DUCKLING'S REVENGE This beautiful Swan resents that people only like him for his looks, and he takes revenge on those who tormented him as an ugly duckling. — BBC / Cambridge News

5

A heroic Aussie and his donkey.

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Australian hero John Simpson Kirkpatrick used a small donkey to carry wounded WWI soldiers. THE PITCH: LIL' LUGGER: THE LIL' DONKEY WHO COULD His unnamed donkey's biopic would show his need to help without caring for recognition. Posthumously, he became affectionately known as Lil' Lugger. — AWM

4

The Blobfish

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Blobfish only look like scowling old men because without muscles or a skeleton, they sag on the surface. THE PITCH: UGLY AND MISUNDERSTOOD: A BLOBFISH STORY A Beauty and the Beast rip off sees a woman love a blobfish for who he is, and he transforms back into the sexy Prince he always was. — Smithsonian Mag / Nat Geo

3

Nemo, the hero dog in Vietnam.

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Bob Throneburg's military dog Nemo was once injured stopping a Viet Cong attack. my during an attack on eng ed the e Nhu as Republic of Viet Tan Na ely wounded he saved nded handler and successful attack of THE PITCH: FINDING NEMO... AND GIVING THAT GOOD BOY A MEDAL! This biopic would be as true-to-life as possible, since he's badass enough as is. — USA MM / South Coastal Herald

2

Rats Detect Tuberculosis

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Trained rats can detect Tuberculosis in 7 minutes, while it takes their scientist trainers a full day. THE PITCH: SEVEN MINUTES OR HEAVEN In a Contagion-esque film, these rats stop a worldwide Tuberculosis outbreak. — BBC / Nat Geo

1

Party Dog

CRACKED THE ANIMAL: Red was a shelter dog who routinely broke his friends out of kennels for parties, and even took his girlfriend into his room for private time. THE PITCH: VAN WILDER: THE RISE OF RED The Van Wilder franchise made The Rise of Taj, so this story is right up their alley. — BBC / Burgess Pet Care

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Movies & TV

Despite No Airtime, Chevy Chase Did A Victory Lap Leading Up to ‘SNL50’

Trivia & Jokes

40 Random Bits of Trivia We Forged From Melted-Down Encyclopedias

Science & History

Was The Guy Who Invented the Cubicle Right All Along?

Movies & TV

Bobby Moynihan Names His Personal ‘SNL’ Heroes

Movies & TV

Here Are the Leaked Episode Titles for ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Season 17

Movies & TV

40 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, February 17, 2025

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

26 Miscast Actors

2

13 Comedies With Not-So-Funny Behind The Scenes Stories

3

20 Cast Changes They Thought They Could Slip Past Ya

4

21 Unnoticed Game Details That Were Insane Work

5

40 Random Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia We Didn’t Know Were Freaky Like That