15 Times Highly Distinguished Persons Dropped Sick Burns
![15 Times Highly Distinguished Persons Dropped Sick Burns](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/3/884063_320x180.jpg)
Ah, the power of the zinger! The one-liner that can leave an opponent speechless and a crowd roaring with laughter. Throughout history, some of the most famous figures have been known for their sharp wit and clever comebacks, and this list is a tribute to their mastery of the art of the zinger.
From Søren Kierkegaard’s memorable dismissal of his opponent as a “glob of snot” to Winston Churchill’s classic retort to George Bernard Shaw’s invitation to attend the premiere of his play, these zingers are sure to amuse and entertain. We have Pope John XXIII’s humorous response to the question of how many people work in the Vatican, Edward VIII’s observation about the way parents obey their children in America, and Arthur Schopenhauer’s scathing description of Hegel as a “flat-headed, insipid, nauseating, illiterate charlatan”.
So, without further ado, let us dive into this collection of zingers from the past and present. Enjoy!
Calvin Coolidge: not your typical music critic.
![Sick burns by distinguished people When President Calvin Coolidge was asked what he thought of a soprano's execution at a White House concert, he declared, I'm all for it. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/8/884078.jpg)
Capote's response to an outrageous request? Initials only.
![Sick burns by distinguished people After a woman asked Truman Capote to autograph a napkin, her enraged husband told him to autograph his dick. Capote told the man, I don't know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I can initial it. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/9/884079.jpg)
Pope John XXIII: Half the Vatican working, half not?
![Sick burns by distinguished people When Pope John XXIII was asked how many people worked in the Vatican, he replied, About half. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/2/884072.jpg)
Kierkegaard: “Glob of snot” – the final word.
![Sick burns by distinguished people Søren Kierkegaard and Hans Martensen had a history of scholarly debates, but Kierkegaard ended all further discussion with the memorable statement that his opponent was a glob of snot. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/7/884077.jpg)
Luplau Janssen/Wiki Commons,
Wiki Commons
The Little Book of Zingers, by Pauline Bickford-Duane (via Amazon)
Thomas Gray: strutting with a stench.
![Sick burns by distinguished people Thomas Gray walks as if he had fouled his small-clothes, and looks as if he smelt it. -Christopher Smart CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/3/884073.jpg)
National Portrait Gallery,
John Giles Eccardt/Wiki Commons
A Literary History of Cambridge, by Graham Chainey (via Google Books)
Schopenhauer: “Craziest mystifying nonsense” from Hegel.
![Sick burns by distinguished people Arthur Schopenhauer was highly critical of Georg Hegel, describing him as a flat-headed, insipid, nauseating, illiterate charlatan who reached the pinnacle of audacity in scribbling together and dishing up the craziest mystifying (Now tell us nonsense. what you really think, Arthur.) CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/0/884070.jpg)
John Wilkes: Principles or paramour?
![Sick burns by distinguished people British journalist and politician John Wilkes responded to the 4th Earl of Sandwich's comment that he'd die either of the pox or on the gallows: That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your mistress or your principles. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/6/884076.jpg)
After Richard Houston/Wiki Commons,
Thomas Gainsborough /Wiki Commons
George McClellan: Not a Fan of Abe Lincoln.
![Sick burns by distinguished people George McClellan, a Union general during the Civil War, had a low opinion of President Abraham Lincoln. In a letter to his wife, he called him a well- meaning baboon. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/5/884075.jpg)
Winston Churchill
![Sick burns by distinguished people Winston Churchill was known to close his eyes and appear to be sleeping while others were speaking, but he was actually listening attentively. When challenged with Must you fall asleep when I am speaking? he responded, No, it is purely voluntary. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/1/884071.jpg)
Edward VIII: Children ruling the roost? He approves.
![Sick burns by distinguished people King Edward VIII, British monarch from 1936 and later known as the Duke of Windsor, was famously quoted as saying, The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/6/884066.jpg)
Senator Fritz Hollings: “Drug test? No problem – IQ test?
![Sick burns by distinguished people In 1986 Senator Fritz Hollings was challenged by his Republican opponent Henry McMaster to take a drug test. Hollings countered, Henry, I'll take a drug test if you'll take an IQ test. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/4/884074.jpg)
Mayer: Hated in Life, Despised in Death.
![Sick burns by distinguished people Hollywood mogul Samuel Goldwyn quipped about his nemesis Louis B.Mayer, The only reason so many people attended his funeral was they wanted to make sure he was dead. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/9/884069.jpg)
Underwood & Underwood, Wiki Commons,
Los Angeles Times/Wiki Commons
Audience member: “Grateful for no schooling!” Chief Justice: “Indeed!”
![Sick burns by distinguished people Supreme Court Chief Justice Melville W. Fuller interrupted a church conference audience member who was expressing gratitude for his lack of education: You have a great deal to be thankful for. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/8/884068.jpg)
Who started the Great War? Not Belgium, says Clemenceau.
![Sick burns by distinguished people French Prime Minister Georges Clemenceau was sure that historians would debate who was responsible for the Great War, but he was certain that They will not say that Belgium invaded Germany. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/7/884067.jpg)
Shaw offers Churchill tickets – but Churchill has the last laugh.
![Sick burns by distinguished people George Bernard Shaw invited Winston Churchill to attend the premiere of his play Pygmalion with, Have reserved two tickets for my first night. Come and bring a friend, if you have one. Churchill replied, Impossible to come to first night. Will come to second night, if you have one. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/5/884065.jpg)