Think back to your high school science classes. Seriously, try really hard. Do you remember literally anything? Of course not. You were just trying to scribble down whatever you thought the teacher wanted to hear and then forcefully ejecting it from your brain the moment the bell rang so you could focus on your real passion: color guard.

As a result, most of us don’t actually know that much about science, which is kind of a good thing. If we did, we’d all be scientists, and that would be chaos. Who would drive the buses? Build the buildings? Decorate the erotic cakes? No one wants to live in a world without those things, so don’t feel too bad if you were walking around out there, on your way to your job at the erotic bakery, believing these myths, but you should make an effort to educate yourself as much as possible. No one likes a dummy penis froster.

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