15 Dumb, Pointless, or Outright Baffling Things the CIA Has Done in Recent Years
![15 Dumb, Pointless, or Outright Baffling Things the CIA Has Done in Recent Years](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/2/877952_320x180.jpg)
When we hear "CIA," our first thought is always, "That badass Zack De La Rocha, KRS-One, and The Last Emperor song?” But then we remember the actual acronym and it’s like, "Oh, right, the coups." Indeed, the CIA is not the most beloved of organizations, with the far-right terrorism-funding and the sitcom-like attempts at killing Fidel Castro, and the CIA man assigned to spying on us being all quiet during our late night enjoying sessions. That’s not political criticism, that’s just emotional selfishness, you know.
Anyway, listen, if your organization only exists to protect the interest of a country that is really a Megazord of corporate interests, then your actions are inevitably gonna be dumb and pointless. Sorry, that’s just good ol’ American truthfulness. So we’re taking a look at 15 of the dumbest, most pointless things the CIA has done. Because in their task of collecting info to protect national security, the agency could be tracking the ways billionaires undemocratically direct the economy towards climate collapse — but that's Marxism, we guess. Let us honor this sort of brilliantly coherent theoretical position, then, with astonishing feats of intelligence such as…
'Relatable' CIA
![CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA That cringy woke ad Remember when the CIA tried to brand itself as home to intersectional millennials with anxiety? All buzzwords in the actual ad, by the way. They should have just gone all the way and played some Rage Against the Machine banger in the background. Surely that would've convinced everyone they're not the goddamn CIA.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/6/877966.jpg)
Wrong Letter
![Baffling things done by the CIA Getting a letter wrong (and torturing the wrong guy) In 2003, officials captured German businessman Khalid El-Masri, mistaking him for Khalid Al- Masri. El-Masri was tortured for almost six months in Macedonia and Afghanistan, and finally dumped in the middle of nowhere in Albania. In total, it was almost six months of torture. After 10 years of legal battles, Macedonia had to pay El-Masri $80,000. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/8/877968.jpg)
Wikipedia
![ISP Welcome to Wikipedia, en - - - - - - - - . - W of . Indey's Natured article - - - И ! 1 IN 7 W Baffling things done by the CIA Editing Wikipedia It came out in 2007 that CIA computers had edited Wikipedia articles in 2003. Was it about Lord of the Rings lore? Who are we kidding, of course it was about the Iraq War. A CIA spokesman said the agency always expects their computers to be used responsibly, so feel free to insert any CIA-related joke you like. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/7/877967.jpg)
Thrown Under the Bus
![Baffling things done by the CIA Framing their own guy. Edwin Wilson spent around 20 years in jail for selling American weapons to Libya, all the while insisting he was actually CIA. The CIA said he was no longer with them, but in 2003 it came out that yup, Wilson still worked for hem even after officially leaving the agency. The sentence was then overturned. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/5/877965.jpg)
Donald Trump
![CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Tolerating Donald Trump's cheerleaders Trump gave a speech in the CIA's headquarters, and while he was playing the victim or whatever, he was also passionately cheered by non-CIA supporters. The CIA not only had to take it, but also see their apolitical pretension crumble (which is kinda cool on Trump's part).](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/1/877961.jpg)
Torture
![Baffling things done by the CIA Trying to make torture look good Besides trying to make enhanced interrogation happen like it's fetch, the CIA also works with Hollywood. For Kathryn Bigelow's Zero Dark Thirty, they assisted on the condition of them making torture seem effective (even when experts agree it isn't). Thanks to the CIA, then, they learn where bin Laden is through torture, which is nothing but (messed-up) movie magic. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/8/877958.jpg)
Columbia Pictures
Starbucks
![Baffling things done by the CIA Having their own top-secret Starbucks Somewhere in Langley, the CIA's exclusive Starbucks is so secret its exact location is unknown. It's there instead of normal coffee machines because they wanted to humanize the CIA headquarters' work environment. You know, through a massive corporation. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/2/877962.jpg)
Pizza
![CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Not being able to pick a damn codeword In 2011, Hezbollah found out that CIA spy- meetings would happen under the codeword pizza. Wait, but wouldn't that give away where they meet? Indeed, Hezbollah soon figured out they met at a Lebanese Pizza Hut, and proceeded with a devastating bust that led to captured U.S. agents and ruined CIA intelligence-gathering in Lebanon for a while.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/4/877964.jpg)
'Meet the Parents'
![CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Messing with Meet the Parents Originally, Ben Stiller was supposed to find out Robert De Niro's character was CIA after finding torture manuals, but the agency demanded he find photos of De Niro with famous people instead. Planning coups for corporate overlords is one thing, but messing with mediocre comedies? Too far, CIA.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/3/877963.jpg)
DreamWorks SKG, Universal Studios
'Black Panther'
![CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Debunking Black Panther When Black Panther won three Oscars, he CIA's Twitter account just had to debunk it as complete fantasy - which yeah, CIA, we know. Gee, it's almost like they're trying to discredit the idea of an African nation thriving by hiding from meddling foreign governments.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/6/877956.jpg)
Marvel Studios
Bin Laden Action Figure
![CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Making Osama toys Beginning in 2005, the CIA created an Osama bin Laden action figure that would slowly wear off its face paint to show that of the devil. You know, to teach the kids whose houses America was bombing who the real villain was. The CIA denies having sent them to Pakistan, but that sounds just like what they would say.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/9/877959.jpg)
Informants
![Baffling things done by the CIA Failing their informants In 2021, counterintelligence officials reported that the CIA underestimated foreign intelligence and was too quick to recruit its contacts - meaning that civilians serving as informants in authoritarian regimes were being captured, killed, or compromised. In short: They're throwing America's friends under the bus. It doesn't take Tom Clancy to see a problem there. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/5/877955.jpg)
Drugs
![Baffling things done by the CIA Smuggling drugs (and ruining reputations) In 1996, journalist Gary Webb disclosed the CIA had been smuggling cocaine into America. The agency denied it, and Webb fell into disgrace. Then the CIA's internal investigation found that, oops, they had indeed spent a decade slangin' that yayo. Honorably, the CIA directly apologized to Webb and-oh, sorry, Webb committed suicide in 2004. I adidas real CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/0/877960.jpg)
Boner Pills
![Baffling things done by the CIA Boners, just boners Afghan informants would just spend their cash payoffs, which would make them stand out and lose access to the info they were supposed to be informing about. So according to a 2009 report, the CIA was paying them off with boner pills. Uhm, CIA? We have info about, erm, some stuff. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/7/877957.jpg)
The 5 Most Baffling Tactics in the War on Terror
The Guardian
Barney the Dinosaur
![Baffling things done by the CIA Using Barney the Dinosaur to torture people The CIA has used bangers like Queen's We Are the Champions, Eminem's The Real Slim Shady, and the Bee Gees' Staying Alive as torture, but nothing compares to the true evil that is playing Barney's I Love You in a 30- hour loop. Something tells us it's not out of love. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/4/877954.jpg)
HIT Entertainment