18 of the Weirdest Stand Abilities in 'JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure'
![18 of the Weirdest Stand Abilities in 'JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure'](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/2/872072_320x180.jpg)
If you’re a fan of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, you know how difficult it can be to explain it to a person that’s never heard of it. If you’re trying to convince a friend to check it out and they ask what it’s about, there's no way to condense it into a single sentence. The characters and the stories in each part are their own mouthfuls, but everything gets even more wordy when you start to explain Stands to them. Stands can be summed up as a psychically generated entity bonded to a person, but even that is way too limiting of a description.
Even when the concept of Stands is understood, there are a few of them that really throw curveballs when it comes to their powers. Sure, we can grasp the idea of a muscle-bound ghost guardian that can rapidly punch your enemy into paste, but when you add in inanimate objects, powers that screw with time, and powers that seem silly but deadly, it can really hammer home the “bizarre” aspect of each JoJo adventure.
Whether you’re a fan or a newbie, here are some of the more bizarre Stand abilities within the anime.
Yo-Yo Ma
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Yo-Yo Ma Becomes your target's servant and kills them with acid saliva This is as if Alfred would spit on Batman at any point his back was turned. Only, you know, if Alfred's spit was the same as a Xenomorph's. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/2/872092.jpg)
Strength
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Strength A giant ghost freighter controlled by an orangutan Ghost ships have been a part of literature and lore for a while, but they're mostly old pirate ships. A giant modern freighter that's being mentally controlled by a pervy ape is a new twist. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/1/872091.jpg)
Sethan
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Sethan Turn you into a toddler and kill you with an axe By the time you de-age into your two-year-old self, you'll be too busy wondering where your potty training went to notice a hatchet coming after your soft head. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/9/872079.jpg)
Rolling Stones
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Rolling Stones A rock that stalks and kills you Being constantly pursued is never fun, but it's extra ominous when you're being hunted and haunted by an emotionless, heavy stone. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/1/872081.jpg)
Mr. President
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Mr. President A turtle that's also a hotel room The cost of housing nowadays would make anyone consider living inside of a turtle, especially if it has comfy chairs, a TV, and a fully stocked mini-fridge. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/7/872087.jpg)
Osiris
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Osiris Turn your soul into a poker chip You may think this is an anti-gambling metaphor, but it's really not. Having your soul turned into a poker chip just makes you wonder how much your existence is worth if it was cashed at the casino. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/9/872089.jpg)
Lock
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Lock A giant lock of guilt If you were raised in a religious household, you know how this feels. However, this time the weight you feel is real, on your heart literally, increases in size according to how guilty you feel, and doesn't seem to have a combination or skeleton key. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/0/872080.jpg)
Jail House Lock
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Jail House Lock Makes your victim retain only three new pieces of information Imagine being able to Memento anyone you'd want, save for only three things. A good way to have a good time at the company Christmas party without worrying about what your coworkers think of you the next day. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/3/872083.jpg)
Kiss
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Kiss Create a duplicate of an item by putting a sticker on it Having two of something is mostly a positive, except that when you remove the sticker, the twin items violently merge back together with messy results. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/2/872082.jpg)
Pearl Jam
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Pearl Jam Gruesomely healing people hrough delicious food Healthy food can help heal what ails you, but imagine getting a broken tooth fixed by eating some yummy Italian food then the broken tooth violently flies out your mouth to make room for a fresh, strong molar. What meal heals that traumatic experience? CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/0/872090.jpg)
Harvest
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Harvest A swarm of tiny collectors You would never lose anything you drop ever again if you had an army of tiny finders looking everywhere around you. Plus, think of all the vending machine snacks you can eat with the spare change the Harvest will find. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/4/872084.jpg)
Super Fly
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Super Fly An innocuous transmission tower that can capture you Imagine going to a regular electric tower, and it just won't let you leave. That's it. It may not sound fierce, but it is frustrating. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/8/872088.jpg)
Sticky Fingers
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Sticky Fingers Create zippers on any surface Zip through walls, zip through body parts, zip through other dimensions. The only question is whether or not you can zip through other zippers. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/6/872086.jpg)
Echoes
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Echoes Write sound effects on you Imagine writing the words BANG!, BOOM!, WHATEVER A HORSEWOLFMAN SOUNDS LIKE!, or whatever onomatopoeia, and it rings loudly within a person to drive their eardrums and brain mad. Although, maybe you can write encouraging words to yourself for a good self pep talk? CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/5/872085.jpg)
Heaven's Door
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Heaven's Door Open up your face and read your memories like a book Ever meet a person that could read you like a book? Well, this Stand allows the user to read through every memory you ever had like your brain was a New York Times bestseller. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/8/872078.jpg)
King Crimson
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure King Crimson Erase time up to ten seconds and see the future somehow Fans don't know how King Crimson's powers work, but the effect is not unlike walking into another room and then forgetting how and why you did that. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/7/872077.jpg)
Beach Boy
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Beach Boy A fishing pole that can cast through walls [and people) If a mob assassin's weapon is chasing you with a fishing pole, just flee the country. Getting a bullet to the heart is bad, but having your heart fishhooked out of your body is a worse way to die. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/6/872076.jpg)
Bastet
![Stands in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Bastet An electrical outlet that can shock and magnetize you This is just taking the concept of shocking yourself via static electricity and taking it to an absurd level. This stand is one of the more unique ones, as it's just a wall outlet. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/5/872075.jpg)