Now we don’t know you, so we’re going to call you Greg. Greg. Yeah. So, Greg, that’s not coming out. You can keep wiping it, but that scratch you just put in the paint is there to stay. You just screwed up. And everyone saw you. 

We know, you don’t think they’ll notice. You can just keep walking inside the bar, but what are the odds it’ll go good for you? Everyone in this bar is an action star, and if any one of them is the person whose motorcycle you just jacked up, well… The odds aren’t exactly in your favor, are they now? Here are the 15 action stars inside that bar most likely to beat the ever living crap out of you for scratching their car. Yeah, car, bike — does it really matter in the face of what’s about to go down? So, look, they’re coming. Get ready.

Ellen Ripley

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ELLEN RIPLEY Space trucker + Alien attack = ultimate action star. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HER: OK, let's be serious here for a moment. CRACKED.COM

John Rambo

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT JOHN RAMBO PTSD? More like Pieces of These Super Dope guns. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: Great! Just ask the people of Hope, Washington. CRACKED.COM

The Terminator

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT THE TERMINA TOR He'll be back. And back. And back. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: 0.0 (unless you manage to reprogram him). CRACKED.COM

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON Pro wrestler, gorilla friend, pro gamer. Scorpion King. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: If he's fighting you, you're the heel. You're doomed. CRACKED.COM

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Steven Seagal

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT STEVEN SEAGAL Lead actor in the worst good movies ever made. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: He's almost definitely too busy shooting a cheap, straight-to-video movie to fight. CRACKED.COM

Ryan Reynolds

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT GUY COFF RYAN REYNOLDS 33 Deadpool. Free Guy. Other people. Rom-com hero turned nerd-jock dream. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: Quick wit and only slightly sludgier fists combine in this all-American package. CRACKED.COM

Will Smith

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WILL SMITH The Man. The Myth. He'd be a legend, but... well, you know. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: Unless your wicki-wild-wild weakness is rap battles, charming smiles, or snappy dialogue, you've probably got this. Provided he likes your crappy jokes. CRACKED.COM

Owen Grady

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT OWEN GRADY He's like your high school bully, only... Hum, that's it, actually. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: Dude's got raptors. Can you beat raptors? CRACKED.COM

The One

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT THE ONE Collecting the powers of all his multiverse variants, The One is like a god but he only has one crappy movie instead of hundreds. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: 1/infinity CRACKED.COM


PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT I I NEO Whoa, his name is One with the letters rearranged. We just noticed. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: He'll bend reality around your sorry ass and whoop it. CRACKED.COM

Lara Croft

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT LARA CROFT The one archeologist who does deal with dinosaurs. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HER: Just you wait until she gets her end-of-game upgrade. CRACKED.COM

John Wick

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT JOHN WICK Не knows gun-fu. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: Don't hurt his dog, and you might just live. CRACKED.COM

Henry "Indiana" Jones

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT HENRY INDIANA JONES Raider of lost arks, museum-belonging decider. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HIM: Pretty good, actually. Dude loses a lot. CRACKED.COM

Chuck Norris


Cherry Darling

PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT CHERRY DARLING One leg, all badass. YOUR CHANCES AGAINST HER: A horde of zombies couldn't take her down, so... CRACKED.COM


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