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28 Things the Internet Absolutely Ruined Forever

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

August 11, 2023

28 Things the Internet Absolutely Ruined Forever

The internet has inarguably done incredible things for the world. Before all of our magic computer boxes were able to talk to one another, you had to drive to the store to buy something rather than have it shipped directly to your door, or wait for your favorite show to air at a specific time rather than binge an entire season at once. And if you wanted a terrible take on current events, you had to wait for your Uncle Randy’s third beer at Thanksgiving. That’s only once a year!

But for every convenience the internet has provided us, it’s gone ahead and ruined three more things. It turns out that when we’re all able to communicate with one another at lightning speed, the first thing we do is drag everything that was once nice and beautiful down into the darkness with us. Here are some of those things…

28 "First World Problems"

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS It's always a good thing for a person to consider their privilege and how it affects their lived experiences, which is why this idea took off in the first place. Unfortunately, the idea that moaning about miniscule annoyances as if they were a Greek tragedy is now used as more of a badge of honor than something to be embarrassed over. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

27 Twitter

TWITTER twitter The idea behind Twitter was a service allowing users to share personal status updates via SMS to groups of people, which was a noble goal in 2006. It didn't take long to realize that no one cared about status updates, and Twitter devolved into a tool to locate and harass anyone who speaks ill of your favorite K-pop group. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

26 Customization

CUSTOMIZATION With most internet denizens using the same three or four social media platforms in lieu of creating their own Geocity page, the last bastion of creativity resides on your browser and in your computer itself. Cosmetic addons are a great way to relive those untamed Myspace days, and they are also a great way to sneak in unwanted malware. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

25 Once again, anything nice

Justin Bieber's I'll show you music video and its millions of YouTube viewers shut down an Icelandic canyon. The somewhat unknown Fjaorargijúfur canyon had a 50-80% increase in traffic within two years of appearing in the video and eventually got so damaged it had to be closed for over 10 months. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

24 Rotten Tomatoes

Organized trolling made Rotten Tomatoes less useful. Po L Movies TV Sh x + https://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes Search movies. TV actors, more... - TRENDING ON RT Best Movies of 2019 Pet Sematary Reviews SNOW - - WANTER TV SCORECARD! Trolls worked together on a large scale to drive down movies' Want to See metrics (likely driving down ticket sales). So RT made the Want to See metric an absolute number, not a percentage. That means you can't tell anymore if a movie is hyped up but nobody actually wants to see it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

23 Concerts

Online ticket scalpers ruined LCD Soundsystem's farewell tour. Seconds after the tickets went on sale, they were all snapped up by bots. Minutes later, those tickets appeared on StubHub at a 1200% markup, dashing many fans' dreams of seeing the band perform for one last time. GRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

22 Pokemon Go

Pokémon GO players damaged a historic Revolution-era fort. Fort Phoenix was the site of the first Revolutionary War naval battle, and in 2016 attracted crowds of people because of some rare Pokémon. GO players were caught publicly urinating and digging holes looking for treasure near the fort, and generated tons of garbage. They even tore down a section of stone wall with a crowbar. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

21 Anything Nice

An Ontario based seed farm had to close down their sunflower fields after images of their picturesque fields went viral. The Sunflower Fields are CLOSED For viewing/pictures The 7000 strong crowd caused a major traffic jam, trampled crops and left a ton of garbage behind. The farm has been closed to the public since then. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

20 Epic Games

CRACKED.COM Online piracy drove Еріс Games to stop making PC games from 2006 to 2012. EPIC GAMES in 2006, for every bought copy of a PC game, there were 10 pirated ones. So Еріс went console-only for a while. — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

19 Mac Tonight

In 2007, McDonald's revived Mac Tonight, a mascot from the early '90s, for their Southeast Asian market. McDonalds B After appearing in a video meme, the character CRACKED.COM caught on among alt-right amateur producers, who now use Mac Tonight in synthesized videos with racist themes that frequently promote hate- fueled violence. — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

18 Local Streets

The residents of Rue Crémieux in Paris have urged the local council to close their street on evenings and weekends due to all the visitors looking for perfect Instagram shots that ended up disrupting their daily lives. CRACKED COM A local even set up Instagram and Twitter accounts to document visitors doing cringey poses and dance videos. — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

17 Public Decency

GRAGKED.COM Thanks to internet trolls, Pink won't post pictures of her children anymore. When she posted a cute photo of her kids with a pelican on social media, she was buried under a deluge of angry anti-circumcision comments. The singer vowed never to post pictures of her kids again. — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

16 The name "Karen"

CRACKED.COM For years, it's been impossible to hear the name Karen used nicely. Now all we think when we hear the name is a terrible person who wants to speak to your manager. — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

15 Memes

MEMES Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins gave us the word meme as a term to describe the aspects of a culture that spread and replicate over time. For some reason, the internet decided that meme was better suited for drawings of sad men made in MS Paint. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

14 Manic Pixie Dream Girl

THE TERM MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL (SPY LOVE WILL TEAR US APART Originally used to describe Kirsten Dunst's psychotically chipper character in Elizabethtown, and other characters with no depth beyond being quirky for the purpose of motivating their male counterparts, it's since been distorted to apply to any slightly kooky female character. Nathan Rabin, who coined the phrase, has since apologized for his role in tainting film discourse. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

13 The Bechdel Test

THE BECHDEL-WALLACE TEST WELL,-IDUNNO.I HAVE LONLY GO TO A MOVIE IF IT SATISFIRS THIS RULE, SEE... THREE BASIC REQUIREMENTS. ONE.17 HAS TO HAVE AT LEAST Two WOMEN IN ET RAY BARBARIAM WHO TWO, TALK TO EACH PRETTY STRICT, BUT A GOOD OTHER ABOUT, THREE, SOME IDEA NO KIDDING LAST MOVIE / THING BESIDES A MAN WAS ABLE TO SEE WAS ALIEN CHE VIGILANTE Alison Bechdel coined the term in 1985 with her comic strip Dykes To Watch Out For, that asks whether or not it has at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man. It's a — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

12 Advertising

ADVERTISING Anti Aging Secret The secret Anti-Aging, Anti-Wrinkle Cure Discovered By A Mom. As seen and OCBS WSJ abc CNN Featured on: NEWS rom We don't like ads, but at least there are rules most advertising has to abide by when we see it on TV or hear it on the radio. The same cannot be said for the blatant lies being churned out by digital ad agencies; a Coke commercial may exaggerate how much joy the drink brings to a racially diverse group of 20-somethings, but it won't tell you it defies aging. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

11 Autographs

Ringo Starr stopped signing autographs in CRACKED.COM 2008, because people just eBayed them. Не got sick of seeing his autographs go up on eBay one day after he'd sign them. — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

10 Nature

Instagram has gotten in the way of locals enjoying Horseshoe Bend in Arizona which was previously seen as a local place for family outings. Since the launch of the app, the number of visitors there has increased alarmingly to about 5000 daily as crowds troop in to take pictures, and people have even had fatal accidents there. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

9 Online Rankings

4Chan members hijacked TIME's 100 Most Influential People poll and voted in Christopher Poole, the founder of the controversial online community. TIME100 TI E100 TIME100 LLC TI TIME IME100 Poole ended up topping the list with more votes than Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, and Oprah Winfrey. GRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

8 Just... Everything

AUSTRALIA Rasing Ceremany معة by И Docklands Australia Shary Parache BACK A Festival at Commin 2017DAY THURSDAY 26 JANUARY Share the for with QMS A billboard in Australia which featured two Muslim girls wearing hijabs was taken down after threats were made by online trolls. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

7 Safaris

According to African Travel, Inc. and Virtuoso, a network of premium travel advisors, African safaris are being tainted by the fact that poachers are using the Geotags from Instagram posts of unsuspecting tourists to locate and hunt animals of value. Poachers use EXIF viewer apps to extract all nearby Exchangeable Image file Format images, which contain GPS information that lead them straight to their prey. GRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

6 Taking Everything Seriously

The internet takes everything so seriously that creators can't even make jokes without them being repeated far and wide as facts. ROPERTY OF Alan Moore once joked that Sean Connery's contract ensures him that he'll have a bigger explosion than he had in his previous movie, and some sites took it as gospel. CRACKED COM — Source: 19 Things The Internet Ruined

5 Facebook

FACEBOOK facebook Facebook started as a way to rank the attractiveness of female classmates, which is as gross as it is unnecessary, so the pivot to college kids using a platform to make friends and keep in touch was actually really smart. Unfortunately, once an .edu email was no longer required, the Boomers took over and, just as quickly, democracy was literally eroded. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

4 Toolbars

TOOLBARS http://www.tive.com/ - x Google File Edit View Favorites Teels Help Alexa 9.Search Micros Workers DELICIOUS DOE amaao DEGPILE Q Web Search Type Saudi عماد blocked NEWS de Hot Despite Cooling Market © White Pages Yellow Pages Search Web PopSwatter MyStum Sign is Lo Zoon News Weather DAP Options Solus DA E - DAP Drive Y! . 2. Search Web ЭМай My Yahoo! Answers Fantasy Sports Hockey altavista Search the Web Translate Once AOL Search Top Stores a Investing Campe Sports COOL AOL Rado MapQuest EL mamma - Search News MAON Advanced earch wordz Lookup Dictionary Search SEC PPC Links Favorites Shopping BACK 203017 Atalista Google — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

3 E-mail

EMAIL Spam (372) Trash When what would become the internet as we know it first started in the '60s as a way for government researchers to share information, sending letters electronically was nearly the entire purpose. As a testament to how close email recreates it's real world equivalent, it's almost entirely (like, 90%) composed of spam, and every new app that connects people digitally tries to compensate for it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

2 Podcasts

PODCASTS STAR ENNIU ALCON 400 A freeform platform that anyone can jump onto and create hours of content was great when the bar for entry was a little higher, but now that every nerd with a USB microphone thinks the world is in desperate need for audio recordings of them arguing over Marvel movies with their unfunny friends, the well has been fully sucked dry. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

1 Shopping

SHOPPING E.T. Movie Character Bicycle Siren wl light up eyes!!! Seller of this item? Sign in for your status US $9.99 Starting bid Yourmaxinum bid US$ Place Bid 2 Erle US so go OF more End time Dec-21-07 15:11:02 PST (6 days 22 hours) Shipping costs us $5.95 us Postal Service First Class Maz Service to United States Ships to United States 1 of 2 20gm location: San Jose California United States History View larger picture The internet has helped to take the risk out of running a truly awful business, to the point where just trying to search for something you're willing — Source: 15 Things The Internet Ruined

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