"The new captain of Ever Given, an American woman named Lola, is trying to learn about the last days of her predecessor, who was kidnapped by a pirate who was also the ship's cook. When Ever Given returns to Egypt, she learns that there may be a traitor on board. She enlists the aid of Captain T. O'Connor (an Irishman with an attitude) to help uncover this betrayal. Meanwhile, Ever Given is commandeered by a pirate gang from Nigeria. As the two captains search for clues, they get involved with a young girl and her grandmother in Cairo. And then they find out that one of the pirates might have killed the original captain before even boarding Ever Given. They also discover a plot against the United States and are faced with a dark choice."

... That's the kind of story Ever Given would have if the universe had a flair for the dramatic. Instead, in our current universe, the TLDR of the Ever Given's story is this: It and its cousin ship got stuck in the same channel twice.

Flying multivitamins send people to the hospital.

WEIRD WORLD Airborne supplement gummies have been recalled because the caps may get airborne. 3.7 million units of the fruit-flavored supplements have been recalled since pressure can build up inside the bottles, causing the seal to pop off with significant force. 18 reports of minor injuries from the flying caps have been CRACKED.COM recorded.

CBS

A leprechaun murder scene leaves authorities concerned.

WEIRD WORLD Green ooze leaking in a building has nothing to do with St. Patrick's Day. Fire crews were called to a high rise in Ann Arbor for a reported hazmat situation after a green substance was seen leaking inside the building. CRACKED.COM

Michigan Live 

Do the climb, do the time.

WEIRD WORLD A spring breaker is fined for being rescued after jumping from a pier. The man was given a $500 citation for climbing on the pier, and hit with a $2,600 bill for having to be rescued from the waters at Corpus Christi's Cole Park. Initial reports said the man fell off the pier and was struggling to get back to shore, but surveillance video showed.com

3News

Time is a flat circle and we think this proves it.

WEIRD WORLD The Suez canal container ship's cousin ran aground. 1 IOF EVER GIVEN PANAMA A year after Ever Given blocked the Egyptian canal, it's cousin the Ever Forward ran aground in the Chesapeake Bay. Unlike the Given, Ever Forward is at least not blocking the bay for other ships as technical experts work on a course of action. CRACKED.COM

The Guardian

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Don’t blame me, I voted for Mike Doyle.

WEIRD WORLD Mike Doyle is poised to take Congress seat from Mike Doyle. Democrat Mike Doyle is set to retire at the end of his term in Pittsburg, and running unopposed to replace him is Republican Mike Doyle. CRACKED.COM

CBS

Tyson is selling gummy ears that get you high.

WEIRD WORLD Mike Tyson is selling pot edibles in the shape of ears. Mike Bites pay homage to a moment in sports history when Tyson gnawed on Evander Holyfield's ear in the 1997 WBA Heavyweight Championship fight, costing Tyson his boxing license and $3 million. CRACKED.COM

Cnet

Joe Biden meets his ancestor, a vampire squid.

WEIRD WORLD Joe Biden gets a unique honor when the earliest known ancestor of the vampire squid bears his name. The torpedo-shaped creature with 10 arms and fins on its back is beautifully preserved, with even soft tissue fossilized in perfect condition. The fossil, Syllipsimopodi bideni, gives new insights into when vampyropods evolved. CRACKED.COM

Nature 

Explorers will be released with a day one patch.

WEIRD WORLD Ford will start adding microtransactions to Explorers, shipping them without all their chips. The computer chip shortage is hurting industries across multiple sectors, but Ford doesn't think that should stop them from producing more SUVs. New Explorers will come without some features, like rear climate control, which can be added on later. CRACKED.COM

CNN

As if the world couldn’t get any worse, they’re coming for our Doritos.

WEIRD WORLD Doritos is taking 5 chips out of the mouths of children everywhere, thanks to inflation. Analysts estimate Frito-Lay will potentially save more than $50 million by shorting bags of the 5 chips, but the toll it will take on the nation is incalculable. CRACKED.COM

Penn Live

Mind Freak goes to a department store.

WEIRD WORLD A Walmart shopper used magic tricks to fool employees out of large sums of cash. WAL MART SUPERCENTER The mysterious man used a sleight-of-hand trick to steal $2,700 from a Texas Walmart, which involved paying for inexpensive items with large bills and pocketing some of the change as he counted it out in front of the cashier, insisting he was shorted. CRACKED.COM

Chron 

Medical choices are suddenly private and personal, when it’s vaccines.

WEIRD WORLD A health official in Florida was put on leave for suggesting his staff get the COVID vaccine. VAC OVID-19 201 vaccine 6102 COVID Dr. Raul Pino, the health administrator in Florida, sent an email to public health employees after a surge in COVID cases calling the staff's vaccination rate irresponsible. The Florida Department of Health says the decision to get vaccinated is a personal medical choice.KED.COM

Ars Technica

Maybe the in 4 dentist that doesn’t recommend toothpaste is a psychopath.

WEIRD WORLD A dentist intentionally damaged the teeth of his patients to boost profits. Scott Charmoli of Wisconsin routinely drilled or broke his clients' teeth on purpose, raking in millions in the process. Charmoli was convicted of five counts of health care fraud and two counts of making false statements related to health care matters. CRACKED.COM

The guardian

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