Tell Us Now: 16 Eyebrow-Arching Wedding Disasters

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Tell Us Now: 16 Eyebrow-Arching Wedding Disasters

We at Cracked love drama, and there's nothing as dramatic as a ruined wedding. In fact, is it really a wedding if everything goes perfectly according to plan? Since most weddings don’t actually have the “Speak now or forever hold your peace” line (which is where movies prefer to place the drama), we have to find new and weirder ways to interrupt someone’s legal union.

So we asked Cracked readers, “What's the worst thing you've witnessed at a wedding?” The most common response from our cynical readers was “Marriage.” We understand the sentiment, but we think even a bad union can be heightened by events on the day of their wedding. However, there were plenty of responses that left our jaws on the floor, from silly interruptions to straight-up horrors. After all, if the most expensive party of your life was ruined, let's hope at the very least some strangers on the internet are able to get second-hand entertainment out of it.

Why you shouldn't wear white to a wedding

... TELL US NOW. THE WHITE DRESS PROBLEM Duane K. went to a wedding and saw A waitress dropp a red wine-filled glass on the bride in her dress. CRACKED.COM

How to ruin a marriage at a wedding

... TELL US NOW. WORST TOAST EVER Brandon C. says, During my wedding my father got up to give a toast. Не said, in front of my wife and I, my mother (his first wife), my stepmother (his second and current wife) and all our assembled guests: 'There will come a day when you look across the table and you realize that you married the wrong person. It has happened to me twice.' Then he sat down. CRACKED.COM

Vows that last a lifetime

... TELL US NOW. PUT A TIME LIMIT ON YOUR LOVE Henry H. once attended a wedding where the couple wrote their own vows that were over an hour long, causing even the preacher to roll his eyes. CRACKED.COM

Wedding commentary

... TELL US NOW. CAUGHT ON TAPE Sara C. tells US, The friend recording my wedding audibly said 'Ewww' on the VHS as we kissed. CRACKED.COM

A poor turnout

... TELL US NOW. A POOR SHOWING Tamy S. says, A couple invited 50 people to their wedding, even paid for the tables and food. Less than 10 people showed up. I was one of the groomsmen's date so I didn't personally know them. I cried with the bride. We went on with the wedding, and we all got drunk and made the best of it. CRACKED.COM

Crying over lost money

... TELL US NOW. IT'S MY WEDDING I CAN CRY IF I WANT TO Stephen E. says, The groom smashed the cake into the bride and she disappeared crying for two hours because her dress was so expensive and it got some chocolate on it. Half of the people left before she came out of the bathroom. CRACKED.COM

Now that's some dedication

... TELL US NOW. THE ULTIMATE FANS Michael F. says, Maybe not the worst, but the most amusing thing I ever saw while working at a catering hall was the reception grinding to a halt at the point where the bride and groom were going to have their dances with their father and mother respectively because nobody could find the bride, the groom, or any of the wedding party. I finally find them all huddled around a cell phone in the far corner of the parking lot watching a NY Rangers playoff game. Eventually the reception got back on track

How to ruin your wedding in 1 day

... TELL US NOW. SURPRISE WEDDING CAKE FLAVOR Fabricio S. was once at a wedding where they served a cake with raisins... CRACKED.COM

Best to avoid phobias

... TELL US NOW. EXPOSURE THERAPY Jesse R. says, The bride was deathly afraid of rabbits. So the groom's friend thought it would be a good idea to chase her in a rabbit costume. Traumatized her. She was in tears for half the wedding. CRACKED.COM

Things you never want to hear your mother say

... TELL US NOW. NIGHTMARE MOTHER-IN-LAW Elia J. says, Mother of the bride began her speech with 'When I first met Andy I hated him because he was the guy who was my daughter. But I guess he was pretty good at it because here we are. CRACKED.COM

The ol' ball and chain

... TELL US NOW. MARRIAGE OUTLAWS Phil T. tells US, Cops came in and arrested the groom and two groomsmen. They got arrested for burglary and possession of weapons by a felon. CRACKED.COM

A beautiful love story that started on someone else's wedding day

... TELL US NOW. HAPPY ENDING Daniel G. tells us, Groom was a nightmare at rehearsals and even worse on big day. Не was being super controlling, nearly punching a groomsmen for getting his hair cut a way he didn't like. Found the bride in the rectory, talking to the priest, crying in a way I've never seen before. Turns out she never wanted to marry him, but he pressured her every step of the way. We convinced her to run home and grab her stuff while we distracted him. It was easy to convince the bridesmaids and groomsmen to

Don't bring a gun to a wedding

... TELL US NOW. GUN SAFETY ALWAYS Amberlyn L. tells a horrifying story, A very drunk groom accidentally shooting his best man while they were messing around with guns at the reception. Best man went to the ER, groom went to jail. CRACKED.COM

Break a leg

... TELL US NOW. CHAOS ON THE DANCE FLOOR Jo J. says, A fight broke out between two drunk guys at the bar. One kicked the other's leg so hard that the bone snapped and was sticking right out his calf. Не made it a few steps before passing out on the dance floor. Не had to be taken away by paramedics. CRACKED.COM

That's one way to get an attentive crowd

... TELL US NOW. DINNER AND A CONCERT Barbara S. says, It was the late 80s, and I went to a wedding held in a Baptist Church. The bride fancied herself a singer, and she ended up singing five songs, one being Friends and Lovers. It was her own concert. She didn't sing to her husband, she sang to her audience. Two songs would've been fine, but it got to where, when she would turn around for the microphone, you could almost hear the collective groan of the guests. CRACKED.COM

How to ruin your marriage on the first day

... TELL US NOW. ALWAYS LOCK THE BATHROOM DOOR Ace E. says, I used to DJ wedding receptions. One time at the end of the night I went into the bathroom before leaving the venue and found the bride and 'best man' getting busy on the bathroom floor. CRACKED.COM
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