John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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Advice To Those Who Relate To Euphoria Characters

Advice To Those Who Relate To Euphoria Characters

Euphoria has taken viewers – and the internet – by storm, with many individuals claiming to relate to any one of the various characters. Here’s what you need to know if you identify with any of the 13 main characters. 

Nate Jacobs CRACKED.COM You need to get off your phone/computer and seek a mental health professional STAT. You threaten the wellbeing of yourself, your friends, and strangers on a daily basis. And PLEASE, for the love of god, embrace your fruitiness!

Maddy Perez CRACKED.COM You're a baddddd bitch and you know it. You have a manipulative streak, likely in an effort to exert control over any aspect of your life. Consider finding healthier ways to demonstrate your agency, such as carrying around a pack of tissues in your purse in case of another TP emergency.

Lexi Howard CRACKED.COM You've been a wallflower for most of your life and your quiet disposition enables friends and family members alike to walk all over you. You're experiencing a boost of confidence which is reflected in how you style and carry yourself. Harness your power and go after what (or who) you truly want!

Kat Hernandez CRACKED.COM You've been on a journey of self-discovery and have been manifesting a badass, sex-positive, confident version of yourself. You're wise beyond your years and have learned how to harness your power for your own personal gain. Now, you've gotta learn to genuinely love yourself!

Jules Vaughn CRACKED.COM You are the moment. You're effortlessly a style icon and seem to fall in love as quickly as you change outfits. Take time to stop, smell the roses, and appreciate those in your life who love you and want the best for you.

Gia Bennett CRACKED.COM If you're everyone's rock, who takes care of you? Your empathic nature enables you to feel deeply for those you love, but it may be time for you to look within and become your own role model. Stay true to your instincts-they haven't led you astray thus far!

Fezco CRACKED.COM You're the world's sweetest plug with a heart of gold. You had a unique upbringing to say the least and have significant difficulty saying no to those you love. You're soft spoken, rough around the edges, and take action that nobody else has the guts for.

Ethan Lewis CRACKED.COM You're the geeky, nice guy who gets the girl. Initially an outsider, your quiet confidence, kind heart, and charm shine through your somewhat average exterior. With time, you will blossom into a more self-assured version of your already awesome self.

Elliot CRACKED.COM A handsome newcomer, you make your presence known by simultaneously enabling and supporting desperate people. Try not to mistake loneliness for friendship and trust your gut - your first instincts won't lead you astray.

Chris McKay CRACKED.COM You've got a lot to unpack. External and internal pressure to be the best at what you do is leading you to push those you care about away. You'd benefit from learning how to stop bottling up your feelings. Also perhaps seek new, less threatening friends.

Cassie Howard CRACKED.COM You're a hot mess, emphasis on mess. You've been through a lot and could substantially benefit from working with a therapist and spending more time with friends than with men who want to sleep with you. Remember: hell hath no fury like a bestie scorned.

Cal Jacobs CRACKED.COM Just like your spawn, you need to embrace your sexuality and seek mental health assistance IMMEDIATELY. Your self-hate disguised as anger and righteousness are getting old, and have absolutely zero redeeming qualities, least of all your hideous facial hair.

Rue Bennett CRACKED.COM You're a tomboy who may struggle with anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar disorder, drug addiction or all of the above. You're grounded by your friends and reciprocal affection from your crush - try to hold onto that when you feel self-destructive.


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