10 Michelle Wolf Jokes for the Hall of Fame

‘Brides will say things like, ‘It’s my special day.’ But how do you call it your day if your dad’s paying for it? I think it’s his day, and I think it’s a really weird day for him. He’s paying a ton of money to make sure a man has sex with you that night’

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Raisins Vs. Grapes

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Raisins Vs. Grapes

Who will be left out to dry?

RAISINS VS. GRAPES INTRO Grapes are a juicy, beloved Raisins are a dried version fruit responsible for much of grapes, at first created historical enjoyment, as by sun-drying, but now well as holding the honor also dehydrated of being turned into one of artificially, and sometimes history's great inventions: bleached with sulfur or wine. diluted Iye. CRACKED.COM

RAISINS VS. GRAPES TEXTURE A raisin replicates the It's difficult to beat a experience of biting off the perfectly ripe grape of any tip of a slightly sweet variety. They explode in plastic bag. The ultimate your mouth in a flood of goal of the raisin is to get delicious sweet nectar, stuck between your teeth like a drop of ambrosia. and live there forever. CRACKED.COM

RAISINS VS. GRAPES WINE ejected Abandoned FriendlessunwelcomeLi DiscardedDenounced Rem Lonely Alone SIO - Dumped and I Neglected Parents Unwant adidas Last Shunned Forsaken Forgotten Invisible Unseen Universidad Less Deserted Rejected I TIME left out Misfit untouchable good Ditched University Friandness minored Exclude Lost Misfit / my Euman Forsak Renoi Overjuded Isolated a Raisins are grapes who Grapes are used to make missed their chance to be wine. Wine is one of the wine. Sometimes raisins most important beverages are used in wine recipes, in history. It also tastes which feels like piggy- good, as any aunt's home backing on a

RAISINS VS. GRAPES COOKIES Raisins often appear in cookies, to everyone's Grapes do not exist in dismay. They even have cookies, because grapes the gall to look sort of like are good on their own, and chocolate chips, probably are confident in their own as some sort of last resort stand-alone flavor. to stay relevant. CRACKED.COM

RAISINS VS. GRAPES FANS Raisins are beloved by Grapes are synonymous with luxury, often pictured grandmas and unhappy being enjoyed off the vine little children in the backseat of road trips, by the likes of Greek gods and historical figures of as if the invention of the great importance and cooler shouldn't have wealth. made them obsolete. CRACKED.COM

RAISINS VS. GRAPES FAME THE GREAT GRAPE APE SHOW - AAAAURA HC Famous grape-related The California Raisins are figures in media include an unsettling stop-motion the god of revelry, singing group with vague Bacchus, a cool-ass racial undertones who cartoon named Grape Ape, were beloved by people and the grapes from Fruit that I assume were also of the Loom commercials. amused by jingling keys. CRACKED.COM

RAISINS VS. GRAPES LITERATURE THE GRAPES SofWWATH a raisin in the John Strinbeck sun A Raisin in the Sun is one The Grapes of Wrath by of the most important John Steinbeck is an plays ever written, and an essential American novel, American classic. It and won both the National debuted on Broadway in Book Award and the 1959. It is much better Pulitzer Prize. than eating raisins. CRACKED.COM

RAISINS VS. GRAPES FINAL VERDICT Grapes win because they Raisins lose because are delicious by they're nasty little bits of themselves, as juice, and garbage that look like make wine, which is a something a goblin would beloved and significant excitedly eat off the floor. beverage today and We have fridges now. throughout history. We're better than this. CRACKED.COM

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