5 Big-Time Goofballs Who Really Wanted to Be Taken Seriously

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The German Knight Who Coined the Phrase ‘Kiss My Ass’ Was the Iron Man of His Time

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15 Powerful Bits Of Trivia We’ve Been Asked To Destroy In The Fires Of Mount Doom From Whence They Were Forged

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13 Times The Police Used Google Maps To Crack The Case

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27 Random Facts To Satiate A Fact-Starved Brain

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

October 01, 2021

27 Random Facts To Satiate A Fact-Starved Brain

Hear that grumble? That's your brain begging for fun facts!

27

THE (SECOND) RICHEST NBA PLAYER EVER GOT RICH OFF BURGERS, NOT BASKETBALL. LECO SCU DWICHES - NEWS AWBERRY, DE CRACKED.COM Junior Bridgeman spent 12 years in the league with the Milwaukee Bucks, leaving in 1987 with a final salary of $350,000. Не used this small pittance to franchise a Wendy's, something he studied about for the last few years. After buying a few more Wendy's, he expanded to Chili's, until Bridgeman Foods Inc. owned over 450 restaurants. In 2016 he sold the restaurants and invested in bottling Coca-Cola, and now he is worth $600 million. — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

26

A HOUSE IN KANSAS BECAME A GEOGRAPHIC SCAPE-GOAT BECAUSE OF ONE COMPANY'S LAZINESS. CRACKED COM When the company MaxMind, which offers a service that pinpoints real-world addresses based on IPs, can't find the location of one IP, they default to the geographic center of the continental US. This location was a 360-acre farm in Kansas, owned by James and Theresa Arnold since 2011. James and Theresa would get hundreds of visitors because of this mistaken identity, sometimes law enforcement and sometimes vigilanties that heard they were imprisoning children. The couple sued MaxMind when reporter Kashmir Hill broke the story, and — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

25

THE NAVY REPLACED A SUB'S CONTROLS WITH AN XBOX CONTROLLER. CRACKED.COM The Navy uses photonics masts in their subs, which are like periscopes but using digital imagery rather than direct line-of-sight. Since these masts could be controlled electronically from anywhere in the sub, Navy personnel suggested that the heavy and clunky mast controls be reconfigured. A device to generate analogue signals to precisely rotate a virtual camera had already been invented, and most of the crew was already familiar with it: the XBox 360 controller. — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

24

LAWYER RICHARD NIXON'S FIRST CASE WENT SO BADLY, НЕ ALMOST GOT DISBARRED. CRACKED.COM After mishandling a case, costing his firm the equivalent of $80,000 in today's money and leaving his client with nothing, Nixon's former client filed a suit against him. During the trial, Nixon defended himself and submitted a fraudulent affidavit. The judge admonished him with the following words: Mr. Nixon, I have serious doubts whether you have the ethical qualifications to practice law in the state of California. I am seriously thinking of turning this matter over to the Bar Association. — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

23

THE MILLIONAIRE WHO WANTED TO BE BURIED WITH HIS BENTLEY WASN'T WHAT НЕ SEEMED. CRACKED COM Chiquinho Scarpa came down with an infection after a cosmetic surgery, putting him into a months long coma. A few years later, his mother died, also from an infection. Seemingly and suddenly aware of his own mortality, Scarpa announced he was building a tomb on his property in Brazil, starting with burying his $500k Bentley, and invited the media to watch. When that day came, Scarpla took a mic and said, Yes, burying my Bentley with me when I die would be absurd. But — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

22

Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

21

CRACKED.COM Pirates stopped the U.S. from adopting the metric system. Trying to standardize measurements, Thomas Jefferson attempted to import the metric system in use in France. But the ship bringing the reference units to America was blown way off course by a storm, ending up in the Caribbean - where British privateers raided it. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

20

CRACKED.COM Ron Howard did Happy Days to avoid going to Vietnam. In the early '70s, Howard was no longer interested in being an actor - but he was even less interested in being sent to war. So he took the part of Richie Cunningham, after learning that he'd get a draft deferment if his job was related to the employment of many people. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

19

CRACKED.COM Rolling your eyes used to be a sex thing. Long before it was a sign of annoyance, it meant excitement - particularly of the sexual variety. John Milton and William Shakespeare used it that way in their works, and it was a common gesture of flirtation and affection in the 18th and 19th centuries. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

18

CRACKED.COM George Carlin taped a bit about terrorism the day before 9/11. Carlin had a particularly dark comedy bit where he joked about Bin Laden and planes blowing up. Не taped it for an HBO special - on September 10th, 2001. His jokes about loving high body counts suddenly becoming extra too soon, he cut the bit out of the special. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

17

CRACKED.COM Thousands of Mazda cars were recalled because of spiders. If you prefer your car to be spiderless, the Mazda 6 probably isn't for you. Roughly 94,000 Mazdas were recalled in the U.S. from 2010 to 2014 because yellow sac spiders were nesting in them, apparently attracted by the smell of gasoline. MAZDA6 — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

16

CRACKED.COM Australia fined NASA for dropping a space station on them. Skylab, the first U.S. space station, came down in 1979 after just six years in orbit. It didn't fall anywhere populated, as it was feared - but when NASA came to collect the debris in the Australian Shire of Esperance, they got hit with a $400 fine for littering. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

15

CRACKED.COM First-person shooters exist because Nintendo didn't want Mario on the PC. In 1990, id Software created a Super Mario 3 demo and sent it to Nintendo, hoping to get a deal to port games to the PC. But Nintendo didn't want that, so id was left to do other stuff - leading to Doom and a new kind of game. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

14

Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

13

CRACKED.COM Early trees threatened to freeze Earth over. When trees first appeared, no microbes yet existed that could eat the wood- so when the trees died, they would just accumulate, sequestering more and more carbon and making the planet cooler and cooler. This period of rampant wood pollution lasted 40 million years. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

12

Google Ads Overview Targeted ads are less effective than Big Tech would have you believe. Independent economists have found that targeted ads only increase revenue by about 4%. But Google tells you your business totally needs this, so it has to be true, right? Just ignore the fact that they pocket most of the takings! 0.0 RUS CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

11

CRACKED.COM Claudette Colvin was Rosa Parks before Rosa Parks. Colvin was just tired when she refused to give up her seat, but the NAACP thought that'd make a perfect stand. Except that being a dark-skinned, pregnant teen, activists were concerned about her marketability - so they had Parks do it. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

10

CRACKED.COM Coconuts in Thailand are picked by monkeys. Monkeys are much better than humans at climbing palm trees, so in Thailand they're trained for picking coconuts. Which sounds less whimsical when you learn that the monkeys are chained. Animal welfare laws exist, but coconut farmers operate in a legal gray area. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

9

CRACKED.COM Eliot Ness ended up selling burgers. Ness' life wasn't good after Al Capone went down - among other things, he went broke by being involved in a start-up which turned out to be a scam. Не spent his final days doing odd jobs, including selling frozen hamburger patties. — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

8

GEORGE S. CLASON L a : em E I I NX NHV many THE DAILY STOIC NIOO - was you 200 INSTITUTIONS | Restrict then - - - - AND was - adidas GRIT Has top rying area POU 5 امنا WIT - 1758 LIVES - GAY I - Modern self-help books were invented by a scammer. 1937's hit Think and Grow Rich set the blueprint for the self-help genre, particularly business self- help. But its author, Napoleon Hill, wasn't really an industry insider as he claimed - his expertise 4 - I was more on fraud, theft, and such areas. RREN — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

7

20 Wage and Tea Employee Reference Cota Statement No, unemployment benefits don't cause worker shortages. Accoring to a 2020 study by Yale researchers, the increase in unemployment benefits during the COVID pandemics did not disincentivize people from work at all. Rates of employment stayed relatively the same during the period. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Random Facts We're Stroking Our Chins Over

6

THE COURTS TOOK 78 YEARS TO FIGURE OUT ONE GUY'S WILL. CRACKED.COM When Daniel Clark died in 1813, he willed all of his vast estate to his mother. His daughter Myra sued for her inheritance in a legal battle that spanned a generation. The case lasted so long, the legal system in place at the end wasn't the same one when it began. It finally came to a close in 1891, six years after Myra's death. She was awarded close to a million dollars, which all went to legal fees. — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

5

DISNEY FAILED AT A STUNT TO PUT THE FIRST FEMALE ON MONEY. CRACKED.COM In 1990, Disney wanted to stake their claim on putting the first female on North American currency by sticking Minnie Mouse on the $5 Disney bill that could only be used in their parks. The US had put Martha Washington and Pocahontas on their currency in the late 1800's, so Minnie would not be the first. In fact, if counting fictional women, the US also placed Lady Liberty, Lady Justice, and the figure of Columbia on bills before. — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

4

BEER IS A PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING SUBSTANCE, ACCORDING TO THE OLYMPICS. CRACKED.COM Olympic veteran Hans-Gunnar Liljenwall participated in the pentathlon for Sweden in the 1968 games. Before the shooting competition, Hans had two beers to calm his nerves, and completed the games winning his team the bronze. Unfortunately, his drug test came back as over the limit for alcohol, and Sweden had to return their medals. For competitions like shooting, alcohol is actually a performance enhancer, precisely for the nerve calming effects. — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

3

A HUNDRED FAMILIES GOT FREE DOGS BECAUSE OF ONE NFL PLAYER. CRACKED.COM Defensive lineman for the Kansas City Chiefs, Derrick Nnadi, pledged that every time the team won in the 2019 season, he would go to a shelter and pay the adoption fees on a dog there. They won 12 games, and so he paid for 12 dogs to go to families. They won two more in the postseason, sending them to the Super Bowl. The Chiefs hadn't won a championship in nearly 50 years, and Nnadi declared that if they did win this time, he'd pay for every dog — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

2

A COURT REPORTER JUST KEPT TYPING I HATE MY JOB INSTEAD OF TRANSCRIBING TESTIMONY. CRACKED.COM After being sent to jail for fraud, mortgage broker Aaron Hand hired a hitman to kidnap and torture one of the witnesses at his trial. The hit man turned out to be an undercover investigator, so now Hand had a second charge and more prison time. When he appealed, lawyers found that transcripts from his original trial were gibberish, written by disgruntled and dysfunctional alcoholic court reporter, Daniel Kochanski. Не was found to have often just mashed keys during trials, at one point typing the — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

1

BONNIE AND CLYDE WERE BOTH MANGLED DUE TO THEIR OWN STUPIDITY. GRACKED.COM In 1930 Clyde was sentenced to The Ham, a farm/prison in Texas that ran on forced labor, after stealing cars. To get out of laboring, Clyde mangled his foot with an ахе, severing his big toe, but they still put him to work. Three years later, driving with Bonnie in the car with him, Clyde plowed through a barricade at 70 mph. In the crash, battery acid spilled on Bonnie's leg, and Clyde delayed bringing her to the hospital until days later. Once real doctors finally saw Bonnie, — Source: 12 Random Facts That Keep Us Up At Night

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