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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

August 01, 2021

40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards

Star Wars! One of, if not THE, most popular movie franchises of all time… But with all of the strange production decisions and strange inconsistencies, it's continued success may be more of an accident than anything else.

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Y 3 ١٠, 7 VI 7ا Il A 1 Hert Aurek Besh Cresh Dorn Esk Forn Grek Isk (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (h) (g) L 7 Jenth Krill Leth Mern Nern Osk Peth Qek Resh (n) (г) (j) (k) (m) (o) (١) (p) (g) Senth Usk Vev Wesk Xesh Yirt Zerek Cherek Trill (s) (1) (u) (v) (w) (x) (y) (z) (ch) لا د Enth Onith Krenth Nen Orenth Shen Thesh (.) (.) (ae) (eo) (kh) (ng) (oo) (sh) (th) IF THIS IS THE OFFICIAL STAR WARS ALPHABET... WHERE DID THE NAMES X-WING AND Y WING COME FROM? — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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GRACKED.COM If you want to travel by land, you have two choices: RIDE SOMETHING THAT WALKS RIDE SOMETHING THAT HOVERS WHY NOT USE WHEELS? Even on rough terrain with no roads, wheels are surely a simpler, more reliable technology than whatever anti-gravity wizardry keeps a speeder airborne. And, unlike a walker's legs, wheels don't require an awful lot of coordinated moving parts. — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport) Walkers are very poorly designed as armored transports. In a universe where fast flying ships exist, a walker solution is too slow to effectively deploy troops with any tactical advantage. Unlike tanks, they have a huge blind spot behind them. Also, their center of gravity is too high, making them very unstable, and because they are so heavy, they have to have three legs on the ground at all times, so if any one breaks down, they must stay still waiting to be repaired ('cause you can't just carry a spare). CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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CRACKED COM Chewbacca. Kashyyyk. Wookiee names are sure a mouthful. ROOOARRGH A MOUTHFUL THAT WOOKIEES ARE UNABLE TO PRONOUNCE. — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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CRACKED.COM WHY DIDN'T THE EMPIRE CLEAR OUT THE FOREST ON THE MOON OF ENDOR IN A RADIUS OF SEVERAL MILES AROUND THE SHIELD GENERATOR? The Empire could have kept every square foot of the cleared area under watch and eliminated all of the Ewoks' advantages. An organization that builds moon-sized planet annihilators surely has no problems razing a forest. STARWARS TEDI DEN m TOE — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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With a front-facing viewport and huge panels on the sides TIE FIGHTERS SEEM TO BE DESIGNED TO GIVE THE PILOT AS POOR VISIBILITY AS POSSIBLE. CRACKED COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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CRACKED.COM Artificial intelligence is SO advanced that droids have distinct personalities. YET IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE USED FOR MUCH OUTSIDE OF THE DROIDS THEMSELVES Smart machines are almost nowhere to be found. Spaceships still need pilots and computer terminals are operated pressing buttons. — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Why didn't the Emperor feed the Alliance wrong information about the second Death Star? PALPATINE COULD HAVE GIVEN THEM THE RIGHT COORDINATES, BUT WRONG SCHEMATICS. THAT WOULD HAVE LURED THE ALLIANCE FLEET TO ENDOR, BUT IT WOULDN 'T HAVE ALLOWED THEM TO DESTROY THE DEATH STAR. CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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THERE'S AN ATMOSPHERE INSIDE THE SPACE SLUG. You can't breathe it, but it keeps your blood from boiling without a space suit. (And it allows flying creatures to glide around.) YET SOMEHOW IT DOESN'T COME RUSHING OUT OF THE SLUG'S OPEN MOUTH. CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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CRACKED.COM The Millennium Falcon's defense blasters could conceivably be controlled from anywhere in the ship, or completely automated. INSTEAD, YOU HAVE TO SIT RIGHT BEHIND THEM. IN THE EXACT SPOT YOUR FOE IS LIKELY TO BE TARGETING. You also need one gunner for each blaster. IF YOU'RE UNDERCREWED, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN DEFENDING YOUR SHIP AND FLYING IT. — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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CRACKED.COM The First Order doesn't have the power or the resources of the Empire it succeeded. YET IT MANAGED TO BUILD A WEAPON WHOSE SIZE, RANGE, AND FIREPOWER DWARF THE DEATH STAR'S. — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Why does the Empire use very fast and fragile vehicles in a dense forest? Using speeder bikes in an obstacle-rich environment is begging for trouble. Speeder bikes would perform great in large areas with high visibility and no obstacles, like deserts and savannas. CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Why do all star wars' planets... Have the same gravity... Regardless of their size? CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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CARRYING A 300LB CYBORG IS TOUGH. DRAGGING HIM WILL KILL YOUR BACK. IF ONLY THERE WAS A FORCE THAT COULD HELP. — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Luke Skywalker has become the quintessential hero. Не was almost female. Early drafts of the Episode IV script had as the protagonist a 16-year-old girl named Starkiller. In another draft, Luke was a 65-year-old military general. Either of those choices would have seriously shaken up the chemistry between Luke, Leia, and Han. http://www.theatlantic. com/entertainment/archive/2012/07/uke- CRACKED.COM starkiller-indiana-smith-famous-film-characters-nixed-names/259734/ — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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In 2005, ABC nearly launched a series called Star Wars Underworld. It was a mobster soap opera. Scriptwriters cranked out 50 hours' worth of what George Lucas figured would be The Sopranos in space-only instead of character actors, they'd have rubber-masked monsters. The series, which was set on Coruscant, would have been too expensive to produce, so the scripts were tabled. CRACKED.COM http://www.ew.com/article/2013/01/10/star-wars-live-action-tv-series-3 — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Think the relationship between Luke and Leia got awkward? It was almost a lot worse. Before Empire was conceived, Alan Dean Foster wrote a Star Wars sequel called Splinter Of The Mind's Eye. In it, Luke and Leia share several scenes of palpable sexual tension. Foster still thinks the story could work as a film between episodes IV and V, as long as people are willing to overlook certain awkward moments. http://www.cinelinx.com/interviews/item/3997-interview-author-alan-dean- CRACKED.COM foster-refiects-on-what-could-have-been-the-official-star-wars-sequel.html — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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The I am your father scene is one of the most iconic in Star Wars. It almost happened twice. In the original Episode III script, we find out that Anakin's conception was part of an evil scheme by Palpatine to breed the perfect Sith. In a deleted scene, he tells Anakin: I used the power of the Force to will the midi-chlorians to start the cell divisions that created you, adding, You might say I'm your father. Anakin's response: That's impossible! CRACKED.COM Paul F McDonald, 2013. The Star Wars Heresies — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Han, Leia and Chewbacca, all Rebel soldiers, think Lando is a selfish coward for selling them out to the Empire... ...to protect the millions of civilians under his rule. You'd think Leia, at least, would sympathize. If Lando's actions prove anything, it's that he's no longer the self-serving crook he was when he won Cloud City, and has actually grown to take his job as leader seriously. Sorry for doing my job and protecting the innocent. Fuck you all very much. CRACKED COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Chewbacca is Han Solo's faithful sidekick and co-pilot. Не was almost his dad. In a scrapped storyline from Episode III, Han is a filthy orphan Jungle-Booking his way through the forests of Kashyyyk (the Wookiee home world). Не was going to be a scruffy-looking kid raised by Chewbacca, which would have made Chewie Han's adoptive father. CRACKED.COM http://geektyrant.com/news/2013/2/6/young-han-solo-concept-art-from-lucasfilm.html — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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The Hutts are menacing, intimidating Star Wars villains. Exept for Ziro. Jabba's uncle Ziro appears in the Star Wars: The Clone Wars film, TV series, and video game, and is dyed purple with luminous yellow tattoos. Не talks like Truman Capote, steals baby slugs, and uncomfortably strokes his vast army of droid man- slaves. So he's not exactly a civil rights victory. CRACKED.COM http://www.starwars.com/databank/ziro-the-hutt — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Darth Maul is undeniably badass-looking. Не was almost ridiculous. George Lucas encouraged artist lain McCaig to draw the scariest thing he could think of, and he came up with a waif-like character with either loopy red dreadlocks or an elaborate ribbon headdress. CRACKED.COM http://filmsketchr.blogspot.com/2012/04/see-star-wars-darth-mauls-secret.html — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Ever wish you could build and run your own virtual moisture farm? That was almost a reality. At one point, LucasArts-the game development branch of the Star Wars empire - was developing Star Wars Outpost, a FarmVille-type game which would allow users to live out all their moisture farming fantasies. Players could choose to ally with the light or dark side, and fight over resources. CRACKED.COM http://kotaku.com/star-wars-outpost-a-cancelled-lucasarts-game-looked-w-1755193517 — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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You have to be strong, agile, and well-trained to be a Jedi Knight. Or just a brain in a jar. Ooroo was a Celegian Jedi Master who acted as an instructor to Jedi students on the planet Ossus, in the Tales of the Jedi comic series. Celegians are pretty much disembodied brains who communicate telepathically, so their usefulness in battle (or ability to master the light saber) is a mystery. CRACKED.COM http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ooroo — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Remember Greedo, the green alien who gets blasted in Episode IV? Не once had a backstory. In a deleted scene from Episode I, snack-sized Greedo accuses Anakin Skywalker of cheating in the pod race. The two get into a fight, and little Greedo's friends warn him that some day he's going to come to a sticky end. To sum up: George Lucas went to the trouble of creating a history for a character whose entire purpose was to get shot by Han Solo. CRACKED.COM George'Lucas, 1999. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace The Illustrated Screenplay. — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Jedi ends with a satisfying boom and the redemption of Vader. It was almost a lot darker. In the original script, Han Solo is killed while trying to destroy the shield generator. The Death Star still gets destroyed, but Luke's final encounter with Darth Vader messes him up so badly that he decides to take off and leave Princess Leia to lead the tattered remains of the Alliance by herself. http://herocomplex atimes.com/movies/star-wars-was-born-a-long-time-ago-but- CRACKED.COM not-all-that-far-far-away-in-1972-filmmakers-george-lucas-and-gary-kurtz-wer/ — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Think Jar-Jar Binks is the worst possible Star Wars character? Have a look at Jaxxon. Jaxxon was a green, rabbit-headed smuggler from the early Star Wars comics published by Marvel. Не worshipped the holy hutch and had a starship called The Lucky Rabbit's Foot. It's rumored that George Lucas, the man who thought Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea, put the kibosh on Jaxxon. CRACKED.COM http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jaxxon — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Han Solo and Boba Fett are sworn enemies. But they could buddy up. In the short story The Last One Standing, Boba and Han decide to become friends. Then they team up in the book Bloodlines, in which Han wears Boba Fett's armor like some hilarious buddy cop film. Here's an excerpt: Solo -How do you breathe in this thing? Fett - Try shaving in it. CRACKED.COM http://starwars. s.wikia.com/wiki/Boba_Fett — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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In 2012, George Lucas green-lit a series called Star Wars Detours. Picture Seinfeld in space. It was a CG-animated show with all the characters hanging out in Dex's Diner, the inexplicable '50s-themed restaurant from Attack Of The Clones. Episode topics included the lack of bathrooms on the Death Star, spoiled brat teen princess Leia, and Obi-Wan using the Force to hit on women. http://www.insidethemagic.net/201 16/08/star-wars-detours- CRACKED.COM the-animated-comedy-that-fans-have-missed-out-on/ — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Jedi Masters come in various shapes and sizes, but they're all badasses. Except for the bunny. Meet Ikrit, the long-tailed rabbit (or long-eared cat) who trains Anakin Solo in the Junior Jedi Knights series of novels about the Skywalker/Solo children. So somehow, a creature without opposable thumbs is able to become a Jedi Master, whose primary weapon definitely requires thumbs. CRACKED.COM http://starwars wikia.com/wiki/lkrit — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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Darth Vader and Boba Fett are nodding acquaintances. They were almost brothers. According to George Lucas' ex-wife, Marcia, George originally thought it'd be cool for the two helmet- lovers to be siblings. Which might not have been a bad thing, as it would likely have prevented the prequel nonsense about virgin birth and midi-chlorians. CRACKED.COM Dale Pollock, 1999, Skywalking: The Life And Films of George Lucas, Updated Edition. — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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In Episode I, whiz kid Anakin builds C-3PO all by himself. Не almost had help. In a deleted scene in Episode II, Padme completes Threepio by putting his shiny gold skin on as Owen Lars watches. Which not only demonstrates that anyone can make a droid, but also creates a scenario where Uncle Owen is suffering from some kind of dementia in Episode IV when he buys the droids. CRACKED.COM http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Star-Wars-Attack-of-the-Clones.html — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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In the sarlacc's belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering AS YOU ARE SLOWLY DIGESTED OVER 1,000 YEARS. Except that you'll die from starvation much sooner than that. UNLESS THE SARLACC FEEDS YOU. And keeping you alive for SO long would require tons of food. Way more than the sarlacc will get out of the paltry meal you make. THE MIGHTY SARLACC IS GOING HUNGRY JUST FOR THE SAKE OF TORTURING YOU. CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Bafflingly Illogical Details Of The Star Wars Universe

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Jar-Jar Binks is the galaxy's most annoying sidekick. Не almost had his own annoying sidekick. Yup, Jar-Jar originally had a chunky, slobbering best bud called a blarth that was inexplicably a cause of even more Binksian klutziness and scene theft. The book The Wildlife Of Star Wars describes the blarth as having a constant desire for attention. CRACKED.COM http://www.starwars.com/news/6-obscure-behind-the-scenes-facts-from-the-prequel-trilogy — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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40 Star Wars Facts That Are Surprising or Illogical as Space Wizards — Source: 21 Ways The Star Wars Movies Could Have Been Worse

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