Welcome to Cracked VS, a new feature where we pit two topics against each other and let ‘em duke it out. Today’s topic: American vs. British Office

We’ll get this out of the way: Both shows are classics. But while Scranton gets all the hype, let’s hear it for the crew at Wernham-Hogg and their chilled-out entertainer boss. 

DAVID MICHAEL BRENT SCOTT VS CRACKED.COM Michael Scott started life as David Brent- lite: Vain, insensitive, and ignorant. And then he got soft. While David was motivated by a need for attention and fame, Michael yearned for family and love. It's close, but for pure comedy's sake, we'll take the ignorant jerk. Advantage: Brent.

GARETH DWIGHT KENAN SHRUTE CRACKED.COM Gareth is an annoying git, and he wouldn't stand a chance in a fight with Scranton's preeminent beet farmer. Describe Dwight in three words? Hard working, alpha male, jack hammer. Merciless. Insatiable. Advantage: Dwight.

DAWN PAM TINSLEY BEESLY CRACKED.COM Do you know how many Dawn is the worst character on The Office web pages there are? Zero. Compare that with Pam is Toxic, We Need to Talk About Pam, 20 Things Wrong With Pam We Choose to Ignore and 13 Reasons Pam Beesly is Actually the Worst. Advantage: Dawn Tinsley.

TIM JIM CANTERBURY HALPERT VS CRACKED.COM Tim. Jim. Pretty much the same name. Pretty much the same guy. Advantage: Toss up.

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TIM AND JM AND DAWN PAM CRACKED.COM Up until the moment of the first kiss, we'd call this one a draw. It's the extra seasons of the American Office that put all the dings in the romance, like Pam nearly having a fling with the boom operator. The boom operator! Advantage: Tim and Dawn.

THEME THEME SONG SONG VS DUNDER MIFFLII DELIVERIES DOCK DOCK 1 2 WILL CALL CRACKED.COM NBC's version of The Office almost used Electric Light Orchestra's Mr. Blue Sky as its theme song. Thanks to the producers for not running that song into the ground for nine years, opting for a lyric-less theme by the Scrantones. Advantage: U.S. Office

Slough rading Estate PENNY PAPER the CRACKED.COM There's not much to know about Slough beyond the opening credits and pubs with quiz nights. But Scranton has Poor Richards, the Steamtown Mall, and Chilis (it's the new golf course, where business happens). Advantage: Scranton, the Electric City.

KEITH KEVIN V/S CRACKED.COM We love Big Keith, but he doesn't measure up to Kevin Malone. Keith might (might!) be the better accountant, but Kevin rules. The guy's the drummer in Police tribute band Scrantonicity, plus he makes a mean pot of chili. Advantage: Kevin.

JENNIFER JAN TAYLOR-CLARK LEVINSON-GOULD CRACKED.COM We'll give this much to Jan -- - she has more layers than Wernham-Hogg's one-note Jennifer. Unfortunately most of those layers were either cruel or full-on psychotic. She doesn't want Michael to date Holly? That seals it. Advantage: Jennifer Taylor-Clark.

CHRIS TODD FINCH PACKER VS CRACKED.COM Chris Finch is an a-hole but at least he never took a dump on David Brent's office carpet. Advantage: Finch.

THREE NINE SEASONS SEASONS VS CRACKED.COM This is an easy one. It's always better to leave viewers wanting more than subjecting them to years of Suddenly Evil Andy, Robert California and Dwight-wannabe Clark. Advantage: Three seasons.

FINAL TALLY US CRACKED.COM It's close. But superfluous seasons of the American Office gave it enough demerits to put the BBC version on top. Advantage: BBC OFFICE! David Brent Dwight Shrute Dawn Tinsley Kevin Malone 3 seasons Theme song Jennifer Taylor-Clark Scranton Tim/Dawn Chris Finch
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