We asked Cracked readers on Facebook, “What's the greatest insult from a TV show?” The top winners of the most quoted were Married with Children, Frasier, and The Golden Girls. Here are 18 TV insults to carry in your back pocket, just in case someone challenges you to a verbal showdown.

TELL US NOW. THE OFFICE Submitted by Noah U., Michael: If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. THE GOLDEN GIRLS Submitted by Stephanie N., Sophia: May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off! Angela: May your legs have grown old and gnarled and withered like an olive branch! Sophia: May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's! Angela: May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. SHERLOCK HOLMES Submitted by Lydia B., Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the entire street. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Submitted by Robert E., Nice dress. Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. CRACKED.COM

Get a new true crime story in your inbox every day

It's true crime week in One Cracked Fact! Subscribe to get true crime sent to your inbox every day this week. Plus, one One Cracked Fact subscriber will be randomly chosen to win a collection of five true crime books. Sign up now!

TELL US NOW. WEEDS Submitted by Michael A., Andy and Doug debate what the taint is actually called. Lupita walks in. Andy: What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole? Lupita: The coffee table. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS Submitted by David A.7 If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. M*A*S*H Submitted by Noah U., Frank: I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye: You're only off by two letters. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. MARRIED WITH CHILDREN Submitted by Mike R, Peggy: Did you miss me? Al: With every bullet so far. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. MARRIED WITH CHILDREN Submitted by Corey L., Marcy: Good, now you can put that metal plate back in your head. Although that's a lot like putting a lid on an empty jar. Al: Or a bra on you. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. FRASIER Submitted by Jerry D., Niles: Are you calling me pretentious? Daphne: You'd eat a worm if it had a French name! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. FRASIER Submitted by Jonathan B., Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope eight now...I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. FIREFLY Submitted by Noah U., Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. ED, EDD N EDDY Submitted by Tanya W., Your garden is overgrown and your cucumbers are soft! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. DEAD LIKE ME No Submitted by Ernie M., Rube: Is everyone you just cut in front of an a**hole? Woman in Post Office: No? Rube: So it's just you then? Woman: I have children in the car. Rube: I have a cake in the oven. He's got three minutes left on the meter. And she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that- it's shameful. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. COMMUNITY Submitted by Noah U., You are the AT&T of people. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. COMMUNITY Submitted by Patrick L., Do you know what kind of person becomes a psychologist, Britt?? A person that wishes, deep down, that everyone more special than them was sick, because 'healthy' sounds so much more exciting than 'boring.' CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. BLACKADDER Submitted by Tanya W., You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly and the part of you that can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the Court, wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. 30 ROCK IGS TRACI DADA Submitted by Noah U., Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking. CRACKED.COM
Forgot Password?