14 Bizarro Celebrity Facts That Sound Like Mad Libs

We had no idea just how much Bill Murray liked to party
14 Bizarro Celebrity Facts That Sound Like Mad Libs

Celebrities, where would our world be without them? Well, the answer on that probably varies greatly on who you are.

If you're somebody that's stuck on their phone all day and knew what TMZ was when most people thought it was a misstatement of “trademark," then to take celebs out of the daily life equation would probably cleave out a serious portion of your life.

But if you're somebody who thinks celebrity culture has just gone too far, and that you won't allow yourself to get sucked into what you consider an unhealthy obsession, then you're probably up for vaporizing Tinsel Town and being done with it.

Well, we're not here to adjudicate that argument. What we are going to do is just lob some celeb facts out there. The Pope had it out for Shirley Temple. Jerry Springer straight-up Jerry Springer'd himself into the dustbin of history. Michael Jackson… was a weirdo. The surprises just keep coming!

Ryan Gosling borrowed Justin Timberlake's mom CRACKED.COM Gosling lived with the Timberlakes for 6 months, while the two future heartthrobs were filming The Mickey Mouse Club. During that time, Justin's mom became Ryan's legal guardian.
Martin Luther King, Jr. convinced Nichelle Nichol not to quit Star Trek CRACKED.COM It turns out MLK was a huge Trekkie, and when he heard Nichol was planning to quit her iconic role as Uhura, he called her up and convinced her to stick around. Of course, it had more to do with showing a Black woman in a position of leadership, but still, it's nice to think he was a sc-fi nerd.
The Blade Runner score composer is musically illiterate MANH CRACKED.co COM Vangelis is a Greek musician who wrote the scores to Blade Runner and Chariots of Fire, but he can't read or write music: When the teachers asked me to play something, I would pretend that I was reading it and play from memory.
Katy Perry collects the hair of her enemies CRACKED.COM She's got a weird habit of collecting scrape of hair from other female celebs, tying them in a bow, and keeping them in her purse We don't know what her full collection looks like, but by all accounts it includes her partner in beef, Taylor Swift.
Elvis Presley was a natural blond CRACKED.COM In retrospect, no normal hair product could possibly achieve such a soaring quaff. He would actually smother his mane in shoe polish
Chris Kirkpatrick was almost BSB's bad boy CRACKED.COM Chris tried out to be da bad boi of the Backstreet Boys, but Lou Pearlman thought of a more inventive way to steal all his money. He had Chris cobble together some other handsome cliches, which he called NSYNC, and promptly shuffled Chris into the background.
Bill Murray smuggled 10 pounds of weed onto a plane CRACKED.COM When he was 20 years old, he was busted trying to sneak about $20k worth of weed onto an airplane as he was heading back to college. The arrest inspired him to... not get kicked out of college, SO he quit, and ultimately ended up pursuing comedy.
Jerry Springer Jerry Springer'd himself out of a promising political career CRACKED.COM He was actually a pretty legit politician. He was the Mayor of Cincinnati, and was running for Governor of Ohio, when he tanked his campaign with a bit of radical honestly. He admitted in TV commercials to cutting a check to a prostitute, which somehow didn't endear him to the Buckeye State
Michael Jackson was rejected by J.K. Rowling CRACKED.COM Just two unproblematic celebs, doin' unproblematic celeb things. Jackson really wanted to do a Harry Potter musical, but Rowling found that, of all things, an inappropriate expansion of her vast empire.
Bryan Cranston was suspected of a very real murder CRACKED.COM When he worked in a restaurant as a young man, he would repeatedly joke that he wanted to murder the head chef. When that guy actually was murdered, the police asked his coworkers if there was anyone who ever, maybe, expressed a desire to kill him? Cranston, obviously, fit the bill.
Benedict Cumberbatch was kidnapped while filming a movie CRACKED.COM Driving back to set in South Africa after a brief hiatus, his tire blew out and he and his two buddies were stranded. They were swiftly kidnapped by 6 armed men, who threw him in the trunk and later dumped them all by the side of the road. When he was rescued, I cried with gratitude. F* it. If that's a cliche, I don't care.
Rebel Wilson was inspired to act by a Malaria-induced hallucination. CRACKED.COM She contracted Malaria while living in South Africa, and in her ensuing fever dreams, saw herself as a really good actress who also won an oscar. That inspired her to leave the family business- dog-showers, one step above carnies - behind, and pursue acting.
Shirley Temple was investigated by the Vatican CRACKED.COM There was a rumor going around Europe that she was too good at acting to be a child, and had to be a full grown adult of short stature. So the Vatican sent a representative to, somehow, verify that she was indeed a child.
Simon Cowell was Jack Nicholson's personal axe polisher R CRACKED.COM Early in his career, Cowell was a prop guy at London's Elstree Studios. When they were filming The Shining there, one of his jobs was polishing the axe that would haunt Shelley Duvall's dreams for decades.
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