You'd think the fast food industry would have its hands full, between replacing bread with various fried meats, and appropriating cultures to sling oddly-colored beef. But they've also found the time and energy to pull some non-food-related shenanigans:

The Noid caused a hostage crisis PIZZA CRACKED.COM Domino's recently brought back The Noid, hoping we'd all forgotten that time in 1989 when a paranoid man, surnamed Noid, took two Domino's employees hostage because he thought the tagline avoid the Noid! was directed at him.

Burger King's desperate plea for a Michelin star GRACKED.com Coinciding with their unfortunately named Master Angus burger, the CEO of BK Belgium launched a petition to get their now-fancy restaurants into the Michelin Guide. Michelin played along (to an extent), and agreed to inspect a location.

Celebrate Valentine's Day at a Waffle House love CRACKED.COM What better way to rekindle romance than with white table cloth service by candlelight surrounded by strung out truckers and drunks of all vocations?

Burger King's sex toys Only on valentines H Only from 6 PM it lining Adults Meal CRACKED.COM For a few brief, sensual hours in 2017, BK locations in Israel offered Adult Meals, which came with the mildest sex toys known to man.

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McDonald's keeps giving out oral hygiene products MAXIMUM FLUORIDE PROTECTION BY A TOOTHPASTE NEW Colgate H Winter- fresh NET WT. 14 OZ. Gel MEP FLUDRIDE GEL R DOOR As 15 SAVE REACH I Ou TOOTHBAUSH 15 CRACKED.COM They gave out toothpaste and toothbrushes in Happy Meals across the US in 1982. A decade later, they brought the despicable practice to Australia. In 2014, kids got free tooth swag just for showing up to any Wisconsin location.

Burger King's bizarre clown fixation CRACKED.COM On Halloween 2017, BK promised a free Whopper to anyone who showed up to a US store dressed as a creepy clown. Then in 2020, several Scandinavian locations installed custom bathroom mirrors that would summon a spooky clown if you turned off the lights and said CANCELLED CLOWN three times.

BK's deadly Pokeballs ORACKED.COM To promote 1999's Pokemon: The First Movie, Burger King's kids' meals came with mon-filled Pokeballs. Sadly, the balls were the perfect shape to form an airtight seal around a kid's lower face, and two children died of asphyxiation.

The moldy Whopper CRACKED.COM Burger King wanted to prove they were serious about removing artificial preservatives from their beef, so they publicized a neat timelapse of a putrid, rotting Whopper.

Krispy Kreme (accidentally) supports the Klan WOOKING TUESDAY 18th February, 12:00pm-5:00pm KKK WEDNESDAY CRACKED.COM In 2015, a Krispy Kreme location in the UK planned a week of fun family events, including a Wednesday dedicated to the unfortunately named Krispy Kreme Klub.

TGI Friday's mistletoe drone IN HERE, doe CRACKED.COM A demonstration of their mobile mistletoe drone went about as poorly as you'd expect. Were you expecting that it chipped off the tip of a photographer's nose? Great, then we're on the same page.

McDonald's egged on sci-fi nerds SZe CHUAR sauce MIT CRACKED.COM After the notorious Rick & Morty Szechuan sauce episode, McDonald's very publicly over-promised a limited time return of their signature sugar goop. Fans turned out in droves, and were extremely miffed when they quickly ran out. Dan Harmon says the show had nothing to do with the promotion - Ronald brought this on himself.

McDonald's flamin' hot Fitbit DSB STEP-iT % CRACKED.COM Step-Its were little Happy Meal pedometers that started giving kids mysterious burns, blisters, and rashes. McD's had to recall over 30 million units.

A gigantic dartboard for space debris TACO FIBC Here! CRACKED.COM When a Russian space station was set to crash back to Earth in 2001, KFC went and made a gigantic target in the Pacific Ocean, and promised free tacos for the entire planet if any of the debris fell onto it. (None did).

KFC's horny sex fiction CRACKED.COM KFC used the occasion of Mothers Day 2017 to commission an 83-page romance novella, called Tender Wings of Desire.

KFC bath bombs KFC x VILLAGE VANCUADED CRACKED.COM In 2017, KFC Japan offered bath bombs that would make your skin smell just like the decadent fried flesh offered by your favorite poultry murder syndicate.

The BK Piss Meal U YAAAK M DGAE MEAL SALTY MEAL CRACKED.COM In a bizarre attempted dunk on the Happy Meal, Burger King introduced a series of competing mood-based meals, including, for some reason, the YAAAS Meal and the Pissed Meal.
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