There are two places human beings should never, ever take sex points from: pornography and magazines. And, more often than not, the stuff magazines recommend is way worse than what you see in the darker corners of the internet.

For example ...

Cosmo suggests secretly hiding someone in the closet. CRACKED.COM Then have sex, without your partner knowing a friend is in the room, peeping. They say this one was inspired by Orphan Black. We watched the show and still don't get this tip.

Source: Cosmopolitan

Chores around the house count as foreplay, says Maxim. CRACKED COM If you clean the place, they say, she'll want sex the moment she gets home! Or, uh, maybe you should clean the place just cause that way, the place gets clean.

Source: Maxim

Marie Claire says to act like a marionette, the sexiest of puppets. CRACKED COM They suggest facing a wall, hands above your head, then to slowly slide down the wall, falling forward from the waist-like a marionette with slack strings.

Source: Marie Claire

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

Tags

Forgot Password?