Tell Us Now: 20 Absolutely Bonkers Kids' Cartoons That Would Never Fly Today

Bob the Builder never permanently killed off a character, did he?
Tell Us Now: 20 Absolutely Bonkers Kids' Cartoons That Would Never Fly Today

If kids are into cartoons nowadays, they're likely watching them via a streaming service or on YouTube somewhere, where their parents can censor block or monitor their viewing to avoid the oddness that they themselves grew up with on Saturday mornings when they were children. Sure, there are the classic toons but the many of the network and cable cartoons from the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s were really odd, inappropriate, and sometimes borderline traumatizing.

Current children aren't subjected to yet another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles clone (only this time it's with mummies). Nor do they have dark children's stories animated to include the realistic death of a rabbit. They don't have a Lil Nas X cartoon to take the animated mantle of M.C. Hammer (actually that one sounds cool).

Regardless, there have been some insane cartoons in the past and the only thing that can match it in modern day seems to be anime. Take a look at some of the nuttier toons that hit our screens back in the day.

TELL US NOW. Extreme Dinosaurs CRACKED Sergio L. TApped into that unique vein of radi-cool animals that followed in the wake of the lean, green ninja team: Extreme Dinosaurs/street Sharks/ Biker Mice from Mars /whatever else was released to cash in on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles craze in the
TELL US NOW. Mummies Alive! GRACKED Jacob W. says don't sleep on this completely 90's combination of Gargoyles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Power Rangers.
TELL US NOW. Mutant League CRACKED Genna L. says this show was actually lowkey educational...i insofar as it's where she learned that football can mean soccer. The main gimmick was always someone losing a body part during a game and like they kept playing different kinds of sports because I
TELL US NOW. It's Punky Brewster CRACKED Richard B. remembers when they tried to keep Punky around after they pulled the plug on her sitcom: The Punky Brewster spinoff with the magical troll thingy (Glomer, or something like that) was beyond insane.
TELL US NOW. Beverly Hills Teens GRACKED If there's one thing the 80's got right, it was how to write a killer theme song. Angel H. goes to bat for it: The show was really inane, but I will fight you for that theme song!
TELL US NOW. Mr. Meaty GRACKED Even though it's not technically a cartoon, Saro U's suggestion is, spiritually, f*ed up enough to make the list: The tapeworm episode is scarred on my brain.
TELL US NOW. SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron CRACKED Joshua C. knows the recipe for an... emotionally scarring Saturday afternoon: Cat people, monsters, explosions, and even a few characters actually dying which was huge by 1990's standards.
TELL US NOW. The Greatest Adventure: Stories from the Bible GRACKED Rhiannon R. says she was very disappointed when I went to Sunday School and Derek, Margo, and Moki weren't actually in the Bible stories.
TELL US NOW. TWO Stupid Dogs CRACKED Zach C. is the man he is today because of this show: it probably influenced my sense of humor more than it should have.
TELL US NOW. Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch GRAGKED Barry S. may be the only person who remembers this one-season Hanna-Barbera show about a sweet little car being bullied by a motorcycle gang.
TELL US NOW. Yvon of the Yukon CRACKED Jonathan B. fondly remembers this Canadian horror show: filled with gross-out humour, non-stop poop and fart and booger jokes, with a ton of adult humour. It was crude, absurd, and disgusting but boy did I love it.
TELL US NOW. Robotech CRACKED lan O. appreciates a show with some real stakes: I was into Transformers and GI Joe cartoons when I was a kid, until I saw Robotech where people actually died ... At the time people dying in cartoons kind of blew my mind.
TELL US NOW. Chew-Chew Baby aMy SheAet CRACKED Robert J. can't shake this episode of Woody Woodpecker wherein Woody dresses in drag and seduces his landlord so he won't starve: that was pretty messed-up. I remember seeing that on Cowboy Bob's Chuckwagon Theater as a kid.
TELL US NOW. Mighty Max GRAGKED Garrett H. says I absolutely loved Mighty Max. Sadly, I feel like almost no one but sis and I remember that show or the awesome toys. We remember, Garrett. We remember.
TELL US NOW. Prostars CRACKED Ken T. couldn't remember the name of the show, but gave us all the radical breadcrumbs we needed: Look, I remember Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky fighting crime together.
TELL US NOW. Hammerman CRACKED Ken T. coming in with the putback slam: The only thing crazier was MC Hammer fighting crime with magical shoes.
TELL US NOW. Watership Down CRACKED Andy Y. dredged up some old trauma with the OG tale of bunny gentrification: The 1978 movie version, not the Netflix show. remember one scene where a bunny was cut up, bitten, and bloodied by other rabbits.
TELL US NOW. Johnson and Friends CRACKED Aimee M. only remembered a few key details, which, we regret to report, were enough for us to find this nightmare puppet show: a hot water bottle and a toy truck, among other things, came to life. No one else seems to remember
TELL US NOW. Sharky & George CRACKED Dan C. recommends this French show about underwater private detectives: they are crime busters of the sea, don't you know?
TELL US NOW. The show with the mouse. GRAGKED Benjamin F. has completely lost us, but maybe you know what they're talking about? The show with the mouse. It had short cartoons and one of them was a hairy naked guy and you could see bush and little dick.'


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