40 Breaking News Items That Stopped the Presses Somewhere in the World

Tech dorks are going to force volcanoes to do math
40 Breaking News Items That Stopped the Presses Somewhere in the World
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There Are Dozens of Us!

WEIRD WORLD A small penis march, aimed at combating stigma, was held in Los Angeles. Dozens of people marched in the Small Dong March organized by two YouTubers who encouragingly suggest to own that truth. CRACKED.COM

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Father’s Day Is About to Get Awkward

WEIRD WORLD A Vietnam war vet in his 70s found out he's a pop superstar's dad. US After a DNA search, it was confirmed that William Johnson is the father of Danish superstar Zindy Laursen. CRACKED.COM

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Wait ‘Til They Hear About Divorce

WEIRD WORLD A married couple in NYC live in separate apartments, and it's worked great. They say that it's done wonders for their marriage, and they started living apart in October. CRACKED.COM

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One Way to Not Lose You Vape Is to Conceal It in Your Undies

WEIRD WORLD In a Montreal school, staff stripped students all the way down to their underwear. AUF CUR It was a truly ridiculous attempt at searching them for vaping products. CRACKED.COM

What If Volcanoes Could Do Math?

WEIRD WORLD El Salvador is going to get a volcano-powered Bitcoin City, apparently. The country's president promised at a gathering of bitcoin enthusiasts, which really speaks for itself. CRACKED.COM

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And It Was Better Than 90 Percent of Podcasts

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, a woman managed to swallow an Airpod instead of a painkiller. It happened when she was getting into bed with an Airpod in one hand an ibuprofen in another (and she claims she recorded her own stomach). CRACKED.COM

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Once Cops Hear About Police Brutality, It’s So Over

WEIRD WORLD In Canada, a guy called 911 because the cops seized his car, apparently. After he got stranded in Princeton (Canada, not NJ), he called 911 to report the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for seizing his ride. CRACKED.COM

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You’re Better Off Leasing a Hitman

WEIRD WORLD A 14-year-old tried to hire a hitman to kill her ex-boyfriend. And it didn't work, luckily, because she tried to do it via rentahitman.com, which is a fake website and which reported the case to the police. CRACKED.COM

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Okay, It’s Just Gonna Ask You a Question and Then You Can Tap Your Card

WEIRD WORLD A guy who donated a kidney got a big medical bill as a reward. The reno man, after donating the kidney, got a bill for $13,064 in medical expenses. CRACKED.COM

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A Bold Tourism Strategy

WEIRD WORLD The Taliban are now welcoming tourists who want to visit Afghanistan. That's after they'd destroyed irreplaceable ancient Buddhas that would made for a truly grand sight, for the record. CRACKED.COM

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An Easy Way to Go From a 3 to a 4

WEIRD WORLD We've found out that masks actually make you look hotter. That's the conclusion of a study carried out by Cardiff University researchers - and apparently, the effect holds for both men and women. CRACKED.COM

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The One Good Thing About the Pandemic

WEIRD WORLD The pandemic brought one good thing to France: fewer burned cars. Normally, lots of cars get torched on New Year's Eve in France - but, due to the pandemic, that number was way lower. CRACKED.COM

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The Beanie Baby Crisis

WEIRD WORLD There are now emergency airlifts of Beanie Babies to the US taking place. Because global supply lines are jammed, Beanie Babies are being flown on cargo planes from China in time for the holiday season. CRACKED.COM

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Okay, Let’s Hear Him Out

WEIRD WORLD The president of FIFA is claiming that football could save Africans from drowning. His words were: We need to find ways to include the whole world to give hope to Africans so that they don't need to cross the Mediterranean in order to find maybe a better life but, more probably, death in the CRACKED.COM sea.

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The Five-Year-Old Caught Driving

WEIRD WORLD A five-year-old caught driving had the most adorable explanation for doing that. Не told cops that he was just out trying to buy a present for his sister, apparently. CRACKED.COM

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Justice for This Crow!

WEIRD WORLD In Oregon, a friendly but sweary crow ingratiated himself with a whole school. The crow just showed up at the school one day and kind of became an unofficial mascot - but the whole thing ended with state police being called in. CRACKED.COM

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The Myrtle Beach to Ireland Garbage Run

WEIRD WORLD A garbage bin made the long trek from Myrtle Beach all the way to Ireland. - PARM - Unsurprisingly, the bin got pretty beat up -- but the Myrtle Beach logo wasn't washed off. CRACKED.COM

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Inadvertent Porncast

WEIRD WORLD In Spokane, WA, porn interrupted a weather forecast for about 10 seconds. It wasn't immediately clear how that managed to happen, and the police special victims unit was dispatched to investigate matters. CRACKED.COM

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Part of This Complete Breakfast

WEIRD WORLD One British mom found her morning cereal full of crystal meth. Just before she tried to give the cereal to her kids, she saw that there was a small plastic pouch with white crystals in the box - and it turned out to be, уер, meth. CRACKED.COM

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An IRL Vigilante

WEIRD WORLD A US Army special operations unit was attacked by a ninja in the desert. It happened in Ridgecrest, CA - a guy with a sword, dressed as a ninja, attacked unit members at an airport at night, causing at least 2 injuries. CRACKED.COM

Source: NPR

The Woman Who Wouldn’t Stop Claiming She Saved the Lives of an Afghan Girls’ Robotics Team

WEIRD WORLD A lawyer had to ask an Oklahoma woman to stop claiming she's a rescuer. KABUL AIRPORT Jis J ESSE The woman apparently overstated her help in the Afghan girls' robotics team's escape from Kabul, and their organization's lawyer had to step in. CRACKED.COM

Source: The Hill

‘Living in a Cage’ Is No Excuse to Be Anti-Vax

WEIRD WORLD A 70-year-old Serbian hermit got vaccinated and said everyone should do it. (illustration) Panta Petrovic, who has been living in a cave in Serbia for 20 years, said the virus does not pick. It will come here to my cave, too. CRACKED.COM

Source: Straits Times

The Political Press Conference Interrupted by a Sex Toy Drone

WEIRD WORLD An Albuquerque mayoral candidate's press conference got attacked by a sex toy drone. It became so distracting from the sound and everything I couldn't really get my point across, the candidate complained, accusing his rival of being behind it. CRACKED.COM

Source: abq.news

The Government Once Had to Declare No Takesies Backsies

WEIRD WORLD Because of the pandemic, you basically can't renounce US citizenship. EMBASSY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA US citizens living abroad have to do a 1-on-1 interview to renounce it, and those are suspended because of the pandemic, so thousands of people who want to give up their citizenship are stuck with it. CRACKED.COM

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What Are the Odds?

John Parr was the first British soldier killed in World War I. George Ellison was the last. L/14196 PRIVATE J. PARR 112543 PRIVATE MIDDLESEX REGIMENT

It’s Nerf or Nothin’

WEIRD WORLD In Boston, nerf guns led to some serious violence in a bus station. NERT 8 20 A bunch of teenage boys pointed the guns at bus passengers, and eventually shot an elderly man - and a fight broke out, and they were arrested. CRACKED.COM

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