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30 Stunning Fails and Inauspicious Wins From Fast-Food Companies

Like the quality of your lunch, fast food has its highs and lows

30 Stunning Fails and Inauspicious Wins From Fast-Food Companies

May 18, 2024 Add Cracked to Google

To paraphrase a quote from ‘90s icon Forrest Gump, “Mama always said life was like a bag of fast food — you never know what you’re gonna get.” And, as usual, Mama was right. From the looks of these facts, the fast-food industry itself is basically a coin flip of wins and losses. Is its ketchup on the burger or on the bag today? Let’s find out now.

30

The Hula Burger

McDonald's Hula Burger The hula burger was a cheeseburger minus the burger, plus grilled pineapple. Made to appeal to Catholics abstainning during Lent, it failed miserably where Filet-O-Fish succeeded. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

Pizza Hut

The Priazzo was uncookably thick deep-dish pizza. CRACKED.COM Pizza Hut threw an Italian-sounding name on a casserole that was so thick, it took longer to cook than anyone was willing to wait for it. — Source

28

The Bell Beefer was a sloppy Joe. CRACKED.COM Look, Taco Bell is great at coming up with exciting new ways to funnel ground beef down our necks. But horking down something called a beefer is where Americans draw the line. — Source

27

The McHotDog danced on Ray Kroc's grave. hot dog ho CRACKED COM Even though the Krocs started off in the hot dog biz, Ray Kroc later refused to sell them at McDonalds because he couldn't be sure the meat was high enough quality. Turns out: Americans don't really care about the quality of their speedy meats! — Source

26

KFC’s Edible Nail Polish

Edible nail polish KFC TS PINGER LICKIN SPNGER GOOD TCKIN GOOD CRACKED.COM In 2016, KFC dropped two flavors of edible nail polish in Hong Kong. The BBC did a taste test, and found Hot t & Spicy to be more translucent than advertised, and Original Recipe to be straight-up green. Both bottles recommended not saving their goop for multiple uses. — Source

25

The McAfrika MCDONALD'S McAfrika CRACKED.COM In 2002, McDonald's Norway took some heat for dropping their unfortunately named, pita-based BLT right smack dab in the middle of a massive famine in Africa. — Source

24

Cheeseburger- Stuffed Crust PIZZA HUT CRACKED.COM This was simply a pizza surrounded by sliders. It's the most American food innovation since American cheese, and yet it's only ever been available in the Middle East and the UK. — Source

23

Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Bites Pizza Sure, hot dogs and pizza are good on their own, but Pizza Hut made sure to prove you can have too much of a good thing. The hot dog crust pizza came with a side of mustard and pretzel version. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

Burger King's Whopperito Most people look at a Whopper and go, You know what would make this better? If it were a burrito, too. Not all foods need to be a mash-up, but don't tell Burger King, who sold the novelty item to compete with Chipotle. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Burger King's Burger Pizza In a clear publicity stunt (that we are continuing to help hype, so it's effective), a 2,500 calorie pizza-sized burger was only available in New York because New Yorkers aren't snobs about their pizza or anything. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

Taco Bell

Taco Bell's Seafood Salad To compete with the Filet-O-Fish, Taco Bell introduced a seafood salad in the 1980s. Unsurprisingly, it was a complete flop. Salad AND seafood? From Taco Bell? Hard pass. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

Taco Bell's Black Jack Taco NEW! BLACK JACK TACO 89 The taco was not particularly notable aside from its black shell. Unfortunately,the shell had the unfortunate side effect of turning your poo green. Not a fun surprise. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

McDonald’s

Mashed Potato Beef Burger MCDONALD'S 100% Manly Man CRACKED.COM For a while, McDonald's China was on a big masculinity kick. Lots of their commercials highlighted the manliness of meat eaters - none moreso than this burger that dared to include a layer of potato salad. — Source

17

Dry Pork and Seaweed Donut DUNKIN' DONUTS Dry Pork and Seaweed Donut CRACKED.COM On paper, this looks like a lazy corporate April Fools Day joke. But in practice, it's actually a pretty daring savory experience from a company that specializes in sugar water. It's made with a special yeast dough, which kind of brings the whole thing together. — Source

16

Every waist-expanding fast food item we love is thanks to a food scientist named Tom Ryan. Не invented Jif Peanut Butter, Pizza Hut's dou- ble-stuffed pizza, the Mc- Griddle, McDonald's fruit & yogurt parfait, Smashburg- er, the Meat-lovers Pizza and McDonald's entire Dol- lar Menu. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

15

A woman being held hostage used the Pizza Hut app in order to receive help. $0.00 THANKS FOR YOUR ORDER TO - and DELIVERY TRACKER WERE MAKING YOUR ORDER - MIC the 200M QUASTIME When her captor let her use a phone to order a pizza, she included Please help. Get 911 to me in the comments. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

14

There's a McDonald's in Guantanamo Bay. D McDonald's BILLIONS AND BILLIONS SERVED coonald's - DRIVE-THRU Yup, that military base. There's also a bowling alley, a kickball league, and a water slide. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Pizza Hut

Pizza Hut 1958 PIZZA HUT CRACKED.COM Brothers Frank and Dan Carney borrowed $600 from their mom to open a pizzeria. They came up with the name Pizza Hut because their sign only had room for 8 letters. — Source

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12

Dave Thomas regretted naming Wendy's after his daughter. Не said, I should've just named it after myself, because it put a lot of pressure on . NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

11

Subway has the most locations of any fast food chain. SUBWAY REGUTER AIR 13H OPEN SUB na With 43,800 stores in 110 countries, it beats out McDonald's and Starbucks. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

10

McDonald's had a no women hiring policy until the late '60s. Even then, the owner demanded female employees be flat-chested and not work the grill since they didn't have the stamina for intense labor. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

9

McDonaldland

The McDonaldland characters aren't original -- they're just ripoffs. C McDonald's lifted everything from H.R. Pufnstuf, one of the most popular kids' TV programs in the '70s. It was so brazen, McDonald's got sued. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Krispy Kreme (accidentally) supports the Klan COLOURING TUESDAY 18th February 12:00pm - 5.00pm KKK WEDNESDAY CRACKED.COM In 2015, a Krispy Kreme location in the UK planned a week of fun family events, including a Wednesday dedicated to the unfortunately named Krispy Kreme Klub. — Source

7

Dinner Baskets turned fast food workers into waiters. BURG KING CRACKED.COM In 1992, Burger King introduced an option to make their overworked staff deliver your meal right to your face and all but baby-bird it to ya. — Source

6

McDonald's delivery trucks in the UK run on grease from McDonald's fryers. through traffic MART follow the freshness, M That's been the case for more than a decade, and it's thanks to grease recovery units (GRUs) installed at every UK McDonald's restaurant. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

5

Starbucks 1971 CRACKED.COM The three founders were college friends who were instructed how to roast by Peet's Coffee and Tea founder. The company's name was picked out from Moby Dick...it almost was named Pequod. — Source

4

Subway

Subway 1965 *Petes SUBWAY Ril KITCHEN CRACKED.COM Fred DeLuca was 17-years-old when his family friend Dr. Peter Buck gave him a $1000 loan to open a sandwich shop to help fund his college. It was originally called Pete's Submarines. — Source

3

KFC 1952 New حته CRACKED.COM After varied careers, Colonel Harland Sanders began selling food out of his gas station in 1930. It wasn't until the invention of the pressure cooker in 1939 where he perfected his quickly fried chicken with 11 herbs and spices. In 1952, he franchised the business. — Source

2

White Castle

White Castle 1921 Castle 5t White Castle 5 eler Established in 1921 HAMBURGERS Buy em by the Sock CASTL GRACKED COM White Castle was the first American fast-food chain. Hamburgers were 5 cents and quickly served to exact specifications, which would later be copied by other chains. — Source

1

McDonald’s

McDonald's 1940 HAMBURGERS M'Source - McDonald's BY aged CRACKED.COM Beginning as McDonald's Barbeque, the owners quickly realized hamburgers were outselling the BBQ at the drive-in restaurant. — Source

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